


I will teach you to love

by DritaA_Clexa4ever



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: AU, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Clexa, Deviates From Canon, Drama, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, First Time, Foreign Sex, Love/Hate, Rape, clexa au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:48:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 64,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23427997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DritaA_Clexa4ever/pseuds/DritaA_Clexa4ever
Summary: The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....Attention i'm only translate this fic, there will be a moment where Warning LEXA RAPES CLARKE so if you don't like thinks like this don't read
Relationships: Clarke Griffin & Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 58
Kudos: 203





	1. Prolog

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Я научу тебя любить](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/576478) by serafina_dieerste. 



> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> My English is not good so i hope you like and enjoy it 
> 
> Attention i'm only translate this fic, there will be a moment where Warning LEXA RAPES CLARKE so if you don't like thinks like this don't read

\- "Mom !!! You are not serious?!"

-“No, Clarke, this time I'm very serious.”

The young blonde girl stared indignantly at a pretty woman, middle-aged in a strict suit, who sat with equanimity at her desk, as if not noticing the attacks of her  
unflattering daughter.

-“No, mom, you can't do that. It's illegal! Let's go right away to the maximum security colony." the blonde smiled boldly, leaning back in her chair, confident that she  
had found a loophole from the current situation.

-“Do you want to talk about the law, Clarke?! OK let's talk." Abby barely restrained herself. The daughter's tricks cost her many nerves. -“Ever since your father died, you  
have start rash actions. My patience has come to an end! High security colony? Clarke, you already have one step to there, if you will continue in the same vein. Say  
thanks to Marcus that he was able to persuade the judge to give you one last chance." Clarke's mother tiredly leaned back and tried to pull herself in hands. The  
stubborn daughter crossed her arms over chest, not wanting to listen to her mother’s next notations.

-“Car theft is a serious crime, Clarke. These are not the little things that you allowed yourself before. The judge agreed only under this condition. You take part in this  
program or you are judged in all severity of the LAW." Abby stared at her daughter. -“It’s time for you to grow up and live, as ordinary people do. And understand what  
work is. Money on the card doesn't appear out of nowhere, it must be earned. This is what you will do."

\- "What came on you?!" More and more indignant blonde. - "You didn't care all the time, but now you suddenly decided to take up my upbringing???"

-“I never has stop cared, Clarke.” pain and regret were heard in Abby's voice. In some part, she blamed herself for her daughter's behavior. After the death of her  
husband, she had to work hard to ensure for herself and her daughter the life they were used to, therefore she remained in the clinic where she worked as the  
department head, sometimes for days, leaving her daughter unattended. And the result is bad company, smoking weed, fights and petty thefts.  
-“You're 19, Clarke. And your life is going downhill, I will not allow you to reach the bottom. You will participate in the program for three months. After that, you go to  
college. Your papers have already been submitted. This is no longer being discussed."

\- "Damn it is, fuc ..." the girl stopped short. - "Damn, some kind of madhouse!" in desperation jumped, she continued. Mother pretended not to notice abusive language.  
\- "This is a circus! What should I do there ?!"

-“They assured me that there is work for you. This is not the first time they are participating in this program. To my knowledge, very successful." a more calm answer  
followed. 

-“By the way ... I need you to sign these papers.” the woman moved a couple of sheets to the edge of the table.

\- "What's that?" Clarke asked scornfully.

\- "This is an agreement with the rules of the circus and the life of his community. Read and sign."

The girl quickly ran her eyes through the lines, - "Punishments?! Mom, have you read this yourself?" she stared in shock at her mother.

\- "If you follow all the rules, then the punishment doesn't threaten you. It will teach you discipline." firmly said Abby.

\- "FUCK, it says there that the punishment could be bodily harm! Mom, are you out of your mind ?! I will not give consent to the beatings!" the blonde threw the  
paper aside.

\- "Well. Then, there a door, go! The trial next week." almost shouted a dark-haired woman. -“You don’t want to learn live like THAT, than have to do in a bad way.”

Angry blue eyes stared at the dark mothers.

\- "You'll regret about it!" grabbing the pen, the blonde put a sweeping signature. -“I will not forgive you for that.” She threw at the exit.

-“The car will pick you up on Monday at 7 in the morning.” Mother managed to shout in her back.

* * *

-“Remind me again, Titus, why should I hang petty criminals around my neck? Don't we have enough of own scoundrels?" a young dark-haired girl was sitting in the  
big chair of the circus director and nervously tapping her pen on the table. Her facial expression, clearly showing her displeasure, was turned to a middle-aged man  
sitting opposite, with his head shaved smoothly.

-“Lexa, you yourself know our financial situation. We really need money for these troublemakers. Circus on the verge of ruin."

-“Titus, I know that, that's why I'm going to sell it.” impatiently waving her hand, interrupted assistant Lexa.

-“Even so, we need to hold out this summer. You promised old Montanelli that the work of the circus will remain unchanged, and we have been participating in this  
program for several years." Titus continued his mentoring. - "This is a good advertisement, for which we also get money, plus a couple of extra hands."

\- "Doesn't matter. It bothers me that I have to mess with the spoiled, unprincipled offspring of wealthy parents. If they are not able to raise their children, why should  
I do this?"

-“You don’t have to talk to them much. Gustus, Indra and I usually do this. From experience, I can assure you that many of them are really good guys who have simply  
gone astray." the old assistant leaned forward - "They know the rules and basically follow them. You have to intervene only if someone breaks them."

\- "Well, of course, I do the dirty work. And how many times did have to punish someone?" a beautifully shaped eyebrow arched, “I want to know how often I have to  
use the whip?” a mocking smile joined her eyebrows.

\- "Don't worry, extreme measures had to be resorted to only two times. The guys themselves were to blame when they climbed their hands to the dancers,” the  
assistant assured Lexa, - "Everything gonna be alright. You won’t even notice them. Moreover, we have already accepted the money." He confidently got up, went  
around the table and stood in front of his boss.

-“I know that you have not the best memories of this place and you don’t want to be here, but you swore to him before his death, which means you must keep your  
promise. You know our rules, better than any other in this circus."

-“I don't want to talk about this again, Titus.” - the dark-haired instantly jumped up from her place. - "This old sadist forced me to give him a promise, and I will keep  
my word." anger, resentment and many other emotions of the past years were heard in the voice of a young girl who, by the will of fate, turned out to be the director  
of the circus in which she grew up. The place where she, having left it five years ago, was never going to return. But the old director, Agostino Montanelli, died a few  
months ago. Before his death, he forced Lexa to make a promise, to assume the duties of a director for another half a year. Until adulthood, he was the guardian of the  
girl, and after death she had to inherit his condition. It was not that huge, but it was enough to calmly finish studies at the university. And she agreed.

-“I will try to make you collide as little as possible. You will participate in performances only on weekends." the man said humbly.

-“Yeah try hard, Titus. We have harsh living conditions, I hope for them, they will quickly get used to it." on this she left the director’s trailer.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A translation of Я научу тебя любить by serafina_dieerste.  
> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> My English is not good so i hope you like and enjoy it

A dissatisfied gaze of blue eyes was fixed on flickering buildings and rare passers-by. Air conditioning in the car saved from the oppressive heat outside. They had been  
driving along unfamiliar streets for about two hours. My mother didn't even deign to take me to this fucking place. Clarke, from the moment Abby informed her that  
she should take part in the re-education program, was in a terrible mood. She woke up, no light, no dawning, so that she would be delivered to a in God forgotten  
place, as she asserted herself. My life will now be a real circus! Can’t even fault the words. From this thought she herself got funny.

Finally, the place of her torment for the next three months show oneself. Clarke immediately realized this, since a huge tent towered in the center of a small settlement  
of trailers and wagons. The car drove under the signboard of Having arrived, the blonde realized that this was not such a small settlement, but  
almost a small village. People scurried back and forth and everyone was busy with something. , the blonde thought when the car  
stopped at a large wagon with the inscription (Director.) Titus stood in front of him and met the newcomer. The driver walked around the car and helped to Clarke with  
the bags, which had already jumped out in a fighting mood. 

-“You must be Clarke Griffin. I greet you at our circus." Titus began amiably.

\- "And hello to you too." followed by a careless answer.

\- "We are glad that you decided to take part in our program and I am sure ...."

\- "I was forced, so don't flatter yourself." the blonde interrupted him, - "I'm not going to pretend that I like all this and I’m not going to join your team."

\- "Well, maybe in time you will think differently." calmly retorted the man, - "I am Titus, assistant director. If you have questions, you can contact me. There is Indra and  
Gustus, they will also be happy to help you. You will meet them a little later."

Clarke pretended to be completely uninterested in what he were saying, looking at an unfamiliar environment.

\- "Follow me." the assistant went towards the wagons, - "The program began a week ago, but this is not scary. In addition to you, three more people take part in it."

-“Oh, I will have friends in misfortune.”

\- "Octavia is one of them. You will share the trailer with her." not noticing the malicious remark continued the man. - "Montanelli Circus is one of the oldest circuses in  
the country. Its traditions are more than two hundred years old!" the old man solemnly began to tell.

\- "Listen, I don't care how long your booth wanders around the world. Show me where to sleep and what to do, that's all." Again, the blonde interrupted him impatiently.

\- "A booth?" said the assistant, turning around sharply, - "in this, as you put it booth, you have to spend three months, working side by side with people for whom the  
circus is their home and family. Generations have grown up here. So, be kind, show a little respect for other people's traditions." a stern voice a little calmed down the  
aggressive girl.

-“I think it would be better for you to find out exactly where you ended up.” Having heard no more bickering, he continued. - "Our community is one large family in  
which everyone adheres to certain rules. You have already familiarized yourself with them, since we have received your agreement."

\- "If you're talking about consent to torture, then yes, I got acquainted." Clarke couldn't resist the from causticity.

\- "We lead a harsh life, without strict rules and penalties for violating those, a mess would be going on. Understand that not all are white and fluffy. We need rules to  
keep everyone in check. Follow the rules and you are not in danger." they went to the trailer where henceforth Clarke will live. - "Come in, settle. I will come after you  
later and introduce you to the rest."

-“As you say, assistant director,” the blonde threw her bags on the floor and flopped onto the bed. Titus came out without saying another word.

***

After half an hour, the door of the trailer suddenly opened and the long-haired girl smartly jumped inside.

\- "Hi, I'm Octavia Blake. Titus is busy with Lexa and sent me after you." the cheerful voice of the troublemaker didn't match the mood of the blonde.

\- "Well hello, Octavia. I'm Clarke Griffin." looked askance, Clarke answered, getting out of bed. Looking around herself and deciding that a white T-shirt, a plaid shirt for  
plowing, denim shorts and boots, would be quite suitable for working in a circus, she said dryly, -“Lead me.”

\- "Why are you so gloomy?"

-“Why i need rejoice? I don’t know how about you, but I am here by duress." the blonde muttered in response.

-“Well, I, too, not of my own free will, but better here than in a prison. It's not so bad here. For now, at least." they were already walking through the settlement.  
Octavia confidently wagged between the structures, leading them to the intended goal.

\- "I was put with Indra, she is a trainer. I like to watch her work and help her. Close to cats, of course, they will not let me in, but even at a distance it is amazing." the  
neighbor admitted with a gleam in her eyes.

\- "And what will I do?"

\- "Now we find out." they went to a bunch of wagons arranged in several rows. A terrible stink told Clarke that they were keeping animals. -“I know the smell is not  
pleasant, but you will get used to it.” Octavia said knowingly, noticing a wrinkled nose.

They were approached by a dark-skinned middle-aged woman with a scar on her face and without a hint of a smile. Clarke grinned to herself.

-“Indra, this is Clarke Griffin. Titus told you to take her while he is busy with Lexa." Octavia seemed not at all embarrassed by this woman, with an ominous expression  
on her face.

-“Well then, Griffin, then let's go. Today, you will clean horse stalls. They now in training and will not interfere with you." Indra led Clarke under a canopy, where in two  
rows opposite each other were stable for horses. The stench from them was unbearable.

-“Everything you need, you will find over there by the wall.” Indra pointed to the far corner. - "Clean everything, throw fresh hay and fill the feeders with food and  
water. Around the corner you will see where to dump manure." giving instructions the woman was already going out.

\- "But there must be 20 stalls here, I have to do everything alone ?!" the blonde was indignant.

\- "16 to be more precise. And yes, alone. You're not at the resort, Griffin. So get down to business. Until you finish you are not leaving here."

Clarke was already alone, Octavia, like a puppy, followed her mentor.

***

Clarke didn't feel her arms and legs refused to take another step. The heat was unbearable. Sweat mixed with dirt and stench, impregnated delicate skin, calluses on  
her hands burned. She honestly worked for almost the rest of the day, the cuss out to everyone and everything. Blaming everyone except herself for her misfortunes.  
Having finished the hellish work, the blonde, barely dragging her feet, trudged to herself.  
Naturally got lost in the maze of trailers, tents, wagons and stalls.

\- "Look, fucking, where are you going!" the blonde growled without looking, when looking under her feet, she collided with someone's shoulder.

\- "What?" followed by an indignant question.

\- "What you heard!" the blond shouted back, continuing on her way.

\- "Stand still!!!" a formidable order made her stop.

\- "What do you want?" Clarke asked indifferently, turning around. A girl stood a front of her little older than her. Long, brown hair, gathered in a high tail, a dark blue  
shirt, with long sleeves, ragged jeans and boots. Refined features and simply stunning green eyes, whose eyes are throw lightning.  
occurred to Clarke. It surprised her in a stranger that she had a scabbard with a dagger on one hip, on belts, and on the other  
side a rolled whip hung on her belt. Without showing that she was impressed, she brazenly lifted her head and waited for the  
further reaction of the beauty opposite.

\- "Name!" Lexa was furious with similar behavior in her circus. She hated disobedience. Montanelli brought up her so. And now some dirty girl dares to be lout to her.  
-“I said, say your name!” not having heard the answer, she demanded.

-“Do you always get to know girls like that?” came a sarcastic answer.

-“Have you always run into trouble like this?” Lexa answered her tone.

-“If you hint at your accessories, then I'm not impressed,” Clarke lied.

-“If I want to impress a girl, then they don't obligatory to me, unless she insists.” a mocking smile touched her full lips. -“But it certainly doesn't threaten you. I prefer  
more ..." she scornfully looked around the blonde, - "well-groomed ladies."

\- "Fuck you!" Clarke didn't have much strength left from resentment and fatigue to quarrel with a stranger . She turned around again and continued  
on her way to the trailer.

Behind her was heard a mocking laugh - "We will meet again."

***

Having finally found her trailer and a last forces taking shower, Clarke fell onto the bed and instantly fell asleep. She didn't sleep for long.

-“Clark, wake up.”

\- "Fuck off, O. I'm a dead person today." the blonde muttered into the pillow.

-“You will be even dead if you don't come with me to dinner. You haven’t eaten all day!" Octavia continued to bother tired body. - "Well, let's get up, eat and you can  
sleep again. At the same time you can get to know the guys."

\- "Enough of meeting today." remembering a meeting with a stranger, Clarke said, forcing herself to get out of bed. A reminder of food made her stomach curl into a  
ball. - "Wait, I’ll rinse my face."

Five minutes later, Octavia and Clarke wagged again between the structures. 

They went to a large tent, which served as a kind of dining room. At the table to which they approached, two guys were already sitting. Both are tall, pretty, and well-built.

\- "Boys meet. This is Clarke Griffin, she is also on the program. Clarke this is Bellamy, he is my brother." a tall guy with wavy hair rose and offered his hand.

\- "Hi, Clarke. We have a pretty replenishment." with a flashing smile said Bellamy. On what Octavia just rolled her eyes.

\- "And this is Finn." the second guy, just below the first, with the same dark hair, but straight, also rose with his outstretched hand.

\- "Well, hello, princess." the good-natured smile was pleasant to the blonde.

She said hello. Although Clarke was still tired, a pleasant company of young people cheered up her a little. Finn was so cute that he himself brought her a tray of food.

-“Why are you here, Clarke?” asked Bellamy, throwing one by one french fries into his mouth.

\- "Maybe you want to look my dossier?" the blonde bristled.

\- "Come on, princess. No offense. We are too here not for good behavior. Octy and I, for example, are for drugs. Dabbled in small things, but got caught. Finn hacking  
the store. So, come on tell..." His smile was so friendly that Clarke gave up.

-“Mostly little things, fights, grass, but sent to here because for car theft.”

\- "Steep girl." Finn pushed her in shoulder, who was sitting next to him.

\- "Hello, scammers!" two came up to them. The girl immediately sat down next to Finn, and the guy sat down with Octavia.

\- "This is Murphy and Raven. They are from the circus." said Bellamy.

Murphy began to stare at Clarke with a brazen smile. She felt uneasy about it. There was something unpleasant about him.

\- "Like, what do you see?" She impertinently commented.

\- "Not bad, what do you suggest?" Murphy disgusted licked his lips.

\- "Yeah. Get in line, circus performer."

-“And you are that bitch a...” His eyes filled with an unkind sheen.

\- "Hey guys, what are you doing? Murphy, calm down. Clarke, don't mind him." Finn decided to defuse the situation.

\- "I'm full. O, you can take me back, otherwise I'll fucking get lost in this maze again and spend the night somewhere under the trailer."  
Heard was a friendly laugh.

-“You will get used to it, Princess.” Finn got up too, - "I'll go with you." to which Raven cast a displeased look on him.

\- "I also go sleep, so all good night and see you tomorrow." said goodbye Octavia. The three of them moved out.

On halfway the black Mustang, the latest model, caught the Clarke eye. Raising the dust he hid in the twilight. 

\- "This is Lexa." rang out voice of Octavia.

-“Mm ...” the blonde had heard the name a couple of times, but didn't know who it was. - "And Lexa is...?"

\- "She's the director of the circus. The new director. As we were told, the old died not so long ago and she took his place for a while. Although she is young, she has  
an iron character, I tell you. She better not argue." undisguised respect was heard in the voice of the dark-haired. Finn nodded in the affirmative.

\- "Well, girls, I went. Have a rest." He quickly kisses both of them on cheeks and ran away.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A translation of Я научу тебя любить by serafina_dieerste.  
> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> Sorry My English is not good so i hope you like and enjoy it

The next morning was terrible. Great muscular pain was felt even in those places where Clarke didn't even suspect its existence. In her movements, she was more like  
a robot of the very first developments, moreover, each movement was commented on with a moan or obscenity.

-“If so starts every morning, I won’t extend even a month, not to mention about three.” the blonde complained to Octavia on the way to the dining room. -“And why  
the hell is it so cold?” It was 7 in the morning and it was still cool outside for short shorts and simple T-shirts, in which both girls were wearing.

-“In the desert always like that, Clarke. During the day the sun burns, and at night you can wrap yourself in a blanket. In three hours you will sweat again later."

The dining room was already full of people. The girls took breakfast at the extradition and went to the table, where Bellamy, Finn and Raven sat just like yesterday.  
Murphy wasn't in the vicinity. the blonde thought with relief. In her state, Clarke didn’t even want to fight off cheap harassment.

\- "Good morning everyone." Greeted Octavia, Clarke muttered something slurred as a sign of greeting and sat with a groan carefully on the bench.

-“What, Clarke, your legs are wawa?” Bellamy winked at her.

\- "Shut up, Bell."

-“Oh, oh ... the princess is not in the mood.” Bellamy raised his hands in a sign of defeat.

\- "Let's eat quietly. Today we plow all day." pacifying said Finn.

They almost finished off in silence when Titus approached to them.

\- "Good morning, guys." Having heard a friendly greeting in response, he continued. -“Clarke, you're in the stable again in the morning. Finn, you're with her today  
until dinner. Lincoln will be there and help with the horses. After lunch, you go to Raven and help her set up the technique. Octavia, you and Indra, as usual. After  
lunch, take Clarke to the menagerie, you will be in training so that Clarke can clean the cells. Bellamy, help to Gustus set up the tent to the end. That's all for today.  
Have a nice day." and he left.

\- "Why to clean up shit gets to me again?" the blonde was indignant.

\- "The first days, we also did just that." reassured her Octavia. -“They need to decide where you fit most.”

\- "I don’t have a place in this fucking circus, I don’t fit to anywhere here!"

-“Let's go now, Clarke.” the guy peacefully took the girl by the shoulders and led to the exit.

At the stable they were met by a tall guy whose clothes didn't hide his bulging muscles.

\- "Lincoln, hi. Titus sent us to help you today. This is Clarke Griffin. She is also in the program." he with a smile greeted the girl by the hand, and then with Finn.

\- "Then let's get started. Horses haven't had breakfast yet, you can start with that. After that I will take them out in turn, and you will clean out the stalls."

\- "Yes, sir." Finn saluted.

-"Don't buffoon, little." the guy reacts harmlessly, and then added sternly, - "Don't touch the Night Hunter, I’ll will do it myself."

-“Who is the Night Hunter and why not allowed touch him?” Clarke asked as Lincoln walked away.

\- "This is Lexa's personal horse. She brought it with her. He doesn't take part in the show. Not everyone can handle with him, his very characteristic. Let's go i show  
you." and he led the blonde to the extreme stall.

\- "Wow !!!" she said as they approached and she saw the animal standing there. It was a huge black stallion. Blue black color shimmered in the morning sun. A thick  
long mane was combed to one side. Unstoppable power and strength came from the animal, which restlessly pounded hooves in place.

\- "Impressive, huh?" Finn broke into a proud smile, as if it were his horse.

\- "He's just awesome!" the blonde breathed out and took a couple of steps forward.

\- "Wait, Clarke!" a hand on her shoulder didn't allow her to move on. - "He doesn't like strangers. If he gets mad, he can hurt himself and Lexa kill us both and Link too,  
for not seeing it."

-“It's a pity, I would have sat on it. His power is fascinating." the blonde has leaned back.

\- "Forget. He allow to approach to himself only for few people, and only to hostess allows to sit on him. You will admire from afar. Like the rest." the guy said with a  
smile and led the blonde by the hand to the other end of the aisle. - "Let's get down to case."

Clarke liked working with the guys a lot more than alone, the day before. Especially with Finn, they got along very well. Collins in his laid-back manner flirted with her,  
which amused her. In the process, she learned a lot about the life of the circus. At each new place, the circus spent two weeks. One week was spent on relocation and  
construction; in the second week, performances took place. On Sunday, everything was folded again. They were just at the first stage. The first show is due on Saturday  
night. Lincoln with Lexa and a couple more people participated in the show with horses. To Clarke then it became clear why he treated them so confidently. In addition  
to the Night Hunter, only one more horse stood out. White mare with a dark mane and socks on the front legs. All the other fourteen, bay, about the same height,  
seemed to be clones. Clarke really liked them all, but the Night Hunter attracted the most.

The lunch time came unnoticed. Although the work was a little easier, Clarke was still tired, sweating from the heat, from which there was no escape anywhere and felt  
dirty and smelly. the girl whined to herself. 

-“Princess, I have to go to Raven. Octavia will come soon with your lunch, then show you the menagerie.“ With one hand, Finn lifted the tired head of the tired girl by  
the chin. “ "Don’t miss me." Quickly kissed on the cheek, winked and ran away.

Clarke, too, came out from the stable and looked around. her gaze fell on a nearby lying dense stack of straw, The blonde gladly stretched out on it and closed her eyes.

She probably dozed off a bit, because she didn’t hear how someone entered the stable. And the fact that someone was there was clear from the sonorous barking of  
a dog. Slowly, Clarke got up and went to look.

\- "Be patient, my dear. I know that it hurts you, but soon you will feel better." a gentle, soothing female voice coming from one of the stalls seemed very familiar.  
\- "Sam, be quiet! You scare everyone here. Go from here!" after these words, a large Rottweiler rushed out to meet Clarke.

The girl froze, not knowing how the dog would react to a stranger. Sam also froze, a long tongue out, he turned his head, carefully examining the stranger, and  
suddenly again barked loudly. Not with a threat, but as if welcoming.

\- "Damn it!" something crashed in the stall, the horse stood on his hind legs, - "Sam! I said to be silent!" Following this, a stranger from yesterday left the stall, strewn  
with straw from head to feet.  
The blonde sensed the opportunity to take revenge.

-“Oh, look who is especially well-groomed today,” the blonde began with a mockery.  
The brunette woman turned sharply, her eyes narrowed, and the rottweiler didn't look so friendly anymore.

-“You're a stupid girl! The horse’s leg is damaged, I tried to fix it. Scared, she could harm to herself even more!" saying this, the brunette slowly approached. Staying  
so close that was violated Clarke's personal space. Now the blonde could clearly see the rich green color of her eyes, which, like yesterday, threw lightning. Glanced  
down on her compressed lips , flashed through Clarke's head.

-“It's you are probably stupid, since you can't keep your dog in check.” Not embarrassed by the proximity, she further attacked.

\- "Show you clearly how I can keep him in check?" the brunette got angry and without waiting for an answer, she threw shortly, - "Sam, take!"

Clarke turned white with horror when she heard an evil growl. Glancing at the Rottweiler, she saw that he was in a fighting stance, ready at any moment to rush to the  
prey. 

\- "Are you nuts ?!" the throat was dry and the voice was hoarse.

\- "What, now not so impudent?" The left eyebrow arched high.

\- "Call your dog back!" the blonde shouted without understanding. It was a signal for Sam. With corner of her eye, she saw that he had started run in her direction, by  
inertia she turned and rushed to run. Clarke managed to take only a couple of steps. The dog overtaken her for a couple of jumps and, having jumped in the back, he tumbled her down.

\- "Sam, hold!" an immediate team followed.

The blonde felt heavy paws on her back and quick breathing in her ear. Her heart was beating fast. The gripped fear didn't allow to move. Holding her breath, she waited.

\- "Good boy, Sam. Come to me!" pressure on the back has disappeared. The blonde turned onto her back, but didn't dare to get up.  
-“Next time, Clarke, choose expressions when talking to me.” - said Lexa, towering above her. The brunette asked last night Titus who the impudent stranger was.  
This boorish woman decided answer back to her, not knowing who was standing in front of her.  
According to today's behavior, it became clear to Lexa that yesterday’s lesson hadn't calmed her. Today, her antics infuriated her even more. The brunette woman  
didn't tolerate attacks on her animals, no matter in what form. Seeing a miserable sight on earth, she decided that today's lesson worked better.

\- "And speaking of grooming .... I decided not to embarrass you with my own, but with your look and ..." Lexa leaned a little towards Clarke and led her nose, sniffing,  
-“Smell, you out of competition.” rising again, she finished with a grin.

-“Go to work, Griffin. Stop wallowing." Clarke looked into the back of a slender figure, in a white turtleneck, white breeches and brown boots. The clothes looked like  
professional riders. Clarke lay still for a few minutes, moving away from what happened, then jumped up abruptly. - "Bitch! Damned wretch! You are nuts bitch!" she swore loudly  
\- "I'll fucking show you! So bitch! Who does she think she is?!" cursing with plenty, the blonde again settled on a stack in front of the stable. suddenly came to her mind.

Upon reflection, the blonde decided to leave plans for revenge for later, first need to find out who this girl is. There are not many people in this circus so to not see  
her again.

Just in time for this, Octavia appeared with dinner.

-“Well, how are you, Griffin?”

\- Yes, you get fucked up at all. - she was still nuts.

-“Easy, Princess. What fly did bite you?" the girl surprised about angry Clarke.

\- "Walks here someone."

\- "Problems?"

\- "Forget it, I'll figure it out by myself." with a wave of her hand, she called on Octavia to join on the stack.  
\- "What is delicious we have here?" the blonde felt hunger, at an appetizing smell.

\- "Nothing special, but edible." Octavia held out a blond tray and sat down next to her.

\- "And you don't eat?" she asked indistinctly, filling her mouth with paste.

\- "I'm already."

Clarke manage with food in a matter of minutes.  
-“Well, I'm ready for work and defensive.” jumping off the stack, she stood at attention. The mood has clearly improved.

But not for long. Her mood fell below zero when they approached the menagerie.  
\- "Damn, O!!! Here stinks are even worse than horses." covering the nose with her hand, moaned the blonde.

\- "Don’t be annoying!" the dark-haired women began to bother nagging. -“What should I do? I, unlike you, hang around here almost every day."

\- "Yeah, fuck, and cleaning shit?" Clarke retorted in the same tone. - "So, you don’t be annoying." not hearing anything in response, she added.

-“Griffin, Blake, you're on time.” The animals are already on the arena. Blake you with me, and you take care of the cells. The principle is the same as in the stable. Anya is  
the main one in the menagerie. She will show you everything. Go inside. 

Inside the eyes took some time to get used to. It was much darker there than outside. The menagerie was built as well as the stable. Only instead of stalls, there were  
cells of various sizes.

They probably keep tigers or lions in the empty ones, the blonde realized. What kind of cats Indra trained, Clarke wasn't interested at Octavia.

\- "Clarke? Are you Clarke Griffin?" a girl of about thirty approached her with a quick step. Squint eyes pointed to Asian blood.  the blonde noticed. 

-“Yes, yes, it's me Griffin.” since everyone here is so serious, Clarke decided not to try very hard, seem friendly.

-“First, I'll show you everything, then you start with the tiger cages.” 

-“I hope you are not very squeamish.” Having said this, she led the blonde along the wide passage between the cells. Clarke counted six empty cells that she would

need to remove. There were still cells with one camel, a llama, three goats and a porcupine. she was surprised.

\- "Does the porcupine also perform?" could not resist and asked the blonde.

\- "No, these animals are for visitors to just be around or feed. Children love this." Without stopping, Anya answered.

-“Don't you feel sorry for them?” unexpectedly asked the blonde. She looked at these too small cages and felt a kinship with animals, which, too, against her will, are

kept somewhere where they don't belong.

-“You sound just like Lexa, by golly!” Anya rolled her eyes. - "The circus is not a place for pity, at least not behind the curtains. Lexa in her own skin realized this, nevertheless she is absolutely against the cells and is already selling the menagerie. Therefore, stop thinking about this topic, and get down to business to make the life of our animals as best as possible." on this she put to Clarke a shovel in her hands and pointed to a wheelbarrow. - "You know what to do."

Starting to work, Clarke reflected on Anya's words. She was imbued with some sympathy for the mistress of the circus. The blonde liked that she decided to dissolve the menagerie. . In a disgusting mood, she threw one filled shovel after another into a wheelbarrow. Anger gave strength. Anya occasionally looked at her, checking how the work was going. They no longer spoke, which Clarke was glad about. She didn't want to conduct empty conversations. When she finished, it was almost evening. Exhausted worse than the day before, she could hardly stand.

-“You did well, Griffin. You can go to dinner."

Clarke just nodded her head and trudged into her trailer. There was no strength for anything. She only wanted to shower, although she was sure that the stench would never be washed off her body, and to bed.

\- "Lord, O! Fuck off!" pulling the blanket over her head, Clarke moaned. Once again, a new friend bother her.

-“Clarke, you have to eat. I brought you here,” Blake didn't calm down.

\- "What's a madhouse!" Clarke exclaimed in her hearts, throwing back the blanket. - "Why you need me O?"

-" We have to stick together, let's throw something and go out. Eat outside, it's stuffy here."

Octavia got out of the trailer, and Clarke forced herself to put on shorts and a shirt on a T-shirt. Going out, she found Finn and Bellamy sitting on a bench.

-“It was Okay who brought us. She said, in support, if you refuse to go out." began to defend Bellamy, noticing a sullen look.

-“Yeah, she will make the dead rise from the grave,” Clarke said, rolling her eyes. Going down the short stairs, she sank down on a bench with a loud groan.

-“Watch out with such moans, Princess. This can be taken as an invitation to extend them,” Murphy approached them from the side.

\- "Fuck off, Murph!" stood up for the girl Finn.

-“Fuck yourself, Collins. You’re direct, like a faithful knight defending the honor of a lady who was attracted," mocked the guy John Murphy. -“Although the words honor and lady are not appropriate here, isn't, bitch?” staring at Clarke, he added sarcastically.

\- "You freak! Have you not received for a long time?" forgetting the pains and fatigue, Clarke jumped up, sparkling her eyes and clenching her fists.

\- "From whom, from you?" the guy continued to taunt.

\- "No! From me!" Clarke turned on an imperious voice behind her.

\- "You?! What the fuck are you chasing me?!" the blonde didn't believe her eyes. -“What the hell are you interfering in not you business?” She almost shook with anger, and more on a brunette stranger.

-“Murphy, go from here. We’ll talk to you later." he didn't delay to retire.

-“And you, Griffin, you'd better say thanks.” calmly turned Lexa to Clarke.

\- "Fuck you!" Clarke didn't find what to answer, because she didn't expect such an early meeting. The revenge plan was not yet ready.

-“You are repeating yourself, Griffin,” the blonde heard laughter, when she closed the trailer door behind her with a roar.

Leaning on the bed, she buried her head in the blanket. Nobody came to her again, although conversations were still heard outside. In the end, fatigue succumbed to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A translation of Я научу тебя любить by serafina_dieerste.  
> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> Sorry My English is not good so i hope you like and enjoy it

An iron staircase led to the door of the trailer, under the windows of which the stood in large red letters "Director". On the first, of five steps, stood the blonde's right  
leg, which was a little nervous before going to the circus mistress. An hour before this, Octavia informed her, after they woke up, that Lexa was calling her to her. Why  
such honors, she plainly didn't say, only that it was all because of last night. Now Clarke wondered what had in common the director of the circus and the clash with  
the stranger. The left leg took a step to the next stair. ,  
another step, 

Lexa sat in the director's chair and thoughtfully stroked Sam between his ears, which pretty put his head to her. The head of the brunette woman was preoccupied with  
thoughts of the rampant girl. In that evening when Clarke slammed the wagon door behind her, three pairs of stunned eyes stared at the brunette, not understanding  
what was happening. Lexa didn't see the need to report to subordinates, but just told to Octavia send the blonde to her without explanation. The clock showed half  
past seven, Griffin was about to show up. Titus promised to narrow the communication with the participants of the program to a minimum, but for some reason it was  
this impudent person who she encountered the third time in two days and every time, not for the sake of a friendly conversation. The blonde pissed the brunette off  
with her appearance. This proudly raised head, an impudent smile and obscene language indicated to Lexa that she already thought of these new arrivals. Spoiled,  
irresponsible, naive girl.

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. The brunette didn't have time to answer, as the door opened and the very spoiled girl stood on the threshold. Clarke  
froze when she saw who was sitting at the master's table.

-“I don’t understand ...” the blonde said finally.

-"Griffin, you weren't even taught simple manners that you need to wait for permission before entering?" Lexa began with a mockery.

-“You probably too, once in three meetings, didn't deign to introduce yourself.” The blonde has already moved away from the first shock and went on the attack.

\- "With your reckless and impudent language, I am surprised that someone can talk to you at all."

-“I wouldn't complain about my tongue.” Clarke walked right up to the table, resting both hands on him, she leaned forward a bit. The breast that eye-catching out  
clearly in the section of the blue T-shirt, squeezed by the forearms, stood out even more. The gaze of blue eyes was fixed on green and noticed how those at that moment involuntarily sank down on the frank look opened to them. Grinning insolently, the blonde took a couple of steps back.  
To which Lexa also rose with a smile, walked around the table and, arms crossed, stood in front of Clarke.

-“I thought you were just a spoiled, arrogant girl, but you are still easily accessible.” contempt was heard in the brunette voice.  
The the blonde twitched, as if from a slap in the face.

\- "To you for sure, nothing shines." the blonde gritted her teeth, trying to hide how the words acted on her.

-“Maybe you don’t smell now, Griffin, but as I said at the first meeting, you are not my type.”

-“With your arrogance and thirst for command, I can imagine your taste. Are your young ladies probably also on a leash, crawling next to Sam?"

\- "If you are so interested, I can somehow arrange a show for you." the brunette was not lost with the answer.

-“No, thank you. I will remain with my boring preferences.”

-“You got scared, Griffin?” The green eyes were so close now that Clarke could notice a light gray bezel around the pupil. They were not quite green.

-“Am I look like a frightened one?” not giving up, she continued.

\- "No. And I suspect that there is not enough reason in your head to clearly recognize the danger. Like little children. To them, this ability comes in preschool age. It's  
seems, that this have bypassed you." Lexa already explicitly scoffed.

\- "Bitch!" burst out of the blonde.

\- "Well, now, this is already your level." a condescending voice, brought her out even more.

-“Why did you call me?”

\- "Until the end of the week, you clean the cells alone. I will inform Ana about this too." the brunette with complete indifference returned to the table. - "You can go  
get started."

\- "You know, maybe this is my level, but at least on him don’t use their position to humiliate subordinates." leaving Clarke said, restraining herself so as not to slam  
the door.

Stayed alone, Lexa thought about the blonde's words. _A hand on the automatic dropped to the dog’s head._

_\- "Actually, I wanted to praise you, since Anya speaks well of you, but apparently she was quick to draw conclusions. Rude, as usual." Lexa wasn't going to continue  
the conversation, so she turned to leave._

_-“If you had tinkered with a bunch of shit for several days, I would like to see how polite you would be.” Clarke wanted to prick the her. She didn't expect that with  
these words, the brunette would suddenly turn around and in a couple of steps would be nose to nose to her._

_\- "I dragged this shit for years." emerald eyes glowed with anger, - "Unlike you, I know what hellish work from morning to evening. YOU are here only a couple of days,  
and you whine, as if you plowed a year in hard labor. Maybe you run to mommy to cry?" again Lexa mocked her.  
Clarke got mad too._

_-“Since you are so good at this, can you continue it yourself?” the proximity of the brunette woman pressed more and more, so the blonde with all her strength  
pushed the brunette away from herself. Unfortunately, too much. Lexa lost her balance and flopped her fifth point into the very pile of manure. Both of them froze in  
shock._

_-“Lexa ... I ... I'm sorry ... I didn't mean to,” Clarke began, stuttering._

_Lexa, as fast as she could, took an upright position._

_-“Not a word more, Griffin,” the brunette said in an ominous voice, putting her hand on the whip, squeezing the grip tightly. -“Not a word,” she repeated, and  
practically ran away.  
Clarke sighed heavily._

_-“In vain are you so to her, Clarke,” Anya stepped around the corner._

_-“Have you seen everything?” Clarke was surprised that Anya didn't appear earlier._

_\- "Yes. And be thankful that I went unnoticed. If Lexa knew that there were witnesses to all of this, she would definitely punish you. I don’t understand how she just  
left?" in perplexity, it seems, Anya asked herself._

_-“I'm sure she’ll  
will come up how to punish me,” the blonde said with confidence._

_\- "Our punishments are announced immediately, so if she left, you shouldn't be very worried."_

_\- "I doubt it. We have a special relationship with her."_

_-“I don’t know what kind of relationship you have there, but in vain you are so with her. Lexa told the truth that she knew how it was to work from morning to night  
until she lost her pulse. She had a hard life here."_

_-“I know she grew up here and everything like so many others, too. How is she different?"_

_-“The fact that her guardian was Montanelli himself. He saw her as a daughter, which means she should have been better than anyone. Work harder than anyone.  
Show the best example for the remain. He was stricter with her than with all the others. Love and care were not combined with Montanelli's idea of raising a child, and  
especially a teenager._

_-“So he made her an insensitive monster?” without thinking, Clarke grinned._

_-“Lexa is not a monster, Griffin!” the dark look became unkind. - "She grew up without the love of her parents, with a very strict guardian who kept her in check by all  
means."_

_\- "What do you mean by all means?" the incredulous question sounded._

_\- "And that means. Think for yourself. I told you to much. She may be cruel to people, but if you saw her with animals, you wouldn't say that she is a monster."_

_Clarke was somehow uncomfortable with Anya's words. She began to respect Anya and didn't want to object to her further.  
\- "We are done for today. You can go to dinner."  
On this they parted._

_* * *_

Lexa at a frantic speed rushed on her mustang towards the city. She was still furious. After she took a shower and changed clothes, the spoiled clothes had to be thrown  
out, the rage on the blonde didn't leave her. She wanted to smash everything that her eya was caught. She decided to visit a  
familiar bar in the nearest town. Since every year the circus went along the same route, Lexa for all the time recognized them all. This evening, she chose the most  
suitable for her mood. 

Dark, dirty, smoked, this place made it possible to get drunk and come off. Nobody was interested in who you were and why you were there.  
The people were enough for get lost. Lexa settled down at the bar, ordering her favorite gin and tonic and began to examine the dancers. She didn't have to wait long.  
After about twenty minutes, the brunette noticed a short blonde, casting interested looks at her, alluringly smiling. A slender body, in a tight-fitting red dress, wriggled  
to the beat of the music. 

Lexa waited another ten minutes and confidently went to the girl. Without hesitation, snuggled up to her and began to move with her to the  
music. Closing her eyes, she gave herself to greedy hands that wandered around her body. She herself was also in a short black dress, and when she felt a hot hand on  
her hip, boldly moving up, she grabbed the stranger girl by the elbow and dragged her to the toilet. Shoving both of them into the last booth, the brunette pressed  
the girl with face to the wall, eagerly kissing and biting her shoulders and neck. Hands, without hesitation, sneaked under the dress, pulling off her underpants. The  
blonde just threw them with her foot somewhere to the side. 

Finally, touching hot flesh, the brunette bit her lower lip from growing passion. The stranger breathed  
loudly and stretched her lips to the lips of a brunette. But Lexa didn't want to kiss her. For kisses needed feelings, she thought, and she just wanted to fuck. Pulling her  
to herself, the brunette turned the stranger to the toilet and bent, forcing her to hold on to the tank. The short dress was already lifted, and hot fingers pierced the  
blonde. The movements were sharp, but uniform. The stranger let out a passionate moan, with each new intrusion, leaning back, showing that she liked the brutality  
of the brunette. The brunette, in turn, took out her anger. She fucked this unknown blonde, imagining a completely different blonde head in front of her, which only  
warmed her anger. 

Lexa stopped moving and changed position. She sat on the lid of the toilet, leaving the girl with back to her, planted on her lap and literally planted  
it on her fingers. The blonde herself began to move quickly, increasingly pushing herself on the brunette's fingers. With the other hand, the brunette woman began to  
help her with pressure on the girl's clitoris. After a couple of minutes, the stranger with a loud groan cumshot. Lexa right away turned her around and forced her to  
knees. With one movement of her hand, she pressed the girl's head between her legs, showing what she wants. Feeling a wet tongue, she leaned back with her eyes  
closed and surrenders herself to pleasure. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A translation of Я научу тебя любить by serafina_dieerste.  
> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> My English is not good so i hope you like and enjoy it

On Saturday morning, on her way to the dining room, Clarke noticed that there was more fuss on the street than usual. The place around the tent was cleaned. Here  
and there were small bales of hay. Next to the tent was a small booth, above the square window of which was the sign «Cashier». There were almost no cars in the  
front of the area where the circus was located. Everything was getting ready for the first performance.

-“O, can we go to the show too?” Thge blonde wanted to see the other side of circus life.

\- "Yes, I will go with you. I'm not bored watching it again and again." Octavia's eyes lit up.

-“Finn and Bellamy too?”

-“I don't think so. They were on two and said that they wouldn't see anything new. They are bored there." rolled her eyes, she imitated Bell.

\- "After two times, I probably will get bored too." laughed Clarke. - "It's you are obsessed with Indra and her cats." She nudged Octavia in a friendly manner.

\- "After the show, let's see how you speak." showing the blonde the tongue, the dark-haired dodged the second push.  
-“The show starts at six, so try to finish by five. I’m sure Anya will let you go at five o’clock."

\- "Well, if no one will intervened, then maybe she will let go." doubt sounded in the blonde's voice.

\- "And who should intervene" surprised O.

\- "Lexa."

\- "Lexa? Listen, what's going on between you two?" finally Octavia decided ask. After the incident with Murphy, when the owner of the circus suddenly intervened,  
they didn't talk about what had happened. O, to say the least, was shocked by how Griffin attacked Lexa. But Lexa, after Clarke leaving, said not to intervene and  
everyone stayed away. But now Clarke herself was talking about it.

\- "We have mutual distaste towards to each other, let’s say so." the blonde answered evasively.

\- "Distaste? So, how you reacted to her appearance, it seems to me that you are greatly minimizing, Griffin."

\- "Oh, fuck, O, I don't know. She makes me angry! As soon as she opens mouth, it starts to shake me. You will not hear anything from her, except for mockery,  
humiliation and commands." the blonde stubbornly pursed her lips.

\- "Maybe you yourself are a little to blame?" Cautiously tried to notice O. - "You are a master at us to speak maliciously and wrangle."

\- "Well, thanks, O! Which side are you on? And in general, she infuriates me with her arrogant appearance alone." annoyingly dismissed the blonde.

\- "On one appearance , you say?" the dark-haired woman narrowed her eyes and smiled slyly. - "Or maybe there is absolutely no distaste?" 

\- "On what are you implying, Blake?” angry blue eyes, prompted the girl that it is better not to develop this idea further. Till.

\- "Nothing. Look guys waving at us." translated the topic O.

Clarke sighed in relief. Inside, something stirred, at the mention of Blake, about a possibly other feeling. She threw back this crazy idea as soon as possible.

-“Your gentleman has already taken care of you, not like my brother, moron.” Blake whispered in the blonde's ear before they approached to the table.

-“Bell, it's was so heavy to bring me breakfast?”

\- "Octi! You always insisted on being an independent, strong and emancipated woman. I just dare not downplay your essence." Bellamy said exaggeratedly  
ingratiatingly.

\- "Oh shut up, Bell. To downplay a woman and take care of sister, it’s a big difference that your nature is not destined to understand."

\- "Calm down both of you already. O, take mine, I'll bring it myself." The blonde was already heading for the distribution, but Finn interrupted her.

\- "Clark, sit down. I'll bring."

-“Collins, you are an incorrigible gentleman.” Blake Sr. shook his head.  
When everyone finally had a tray in front of them, they took breakfast.

All day passed, as usual. Finn took care of dinner. This time they were joined by Octavia, Bellamy, Raven and Lincoln. At dinner, Clarke noticed that O was throwing  
languid glances towards Link, and he winked at her in reply.

The blonde was already looking forward to  
play a joke to her friend.

After lunch, Clarke asked Anya if she could leave at five to catch the show. Anya didn't mind. The day passed quickly. At half past five Clarke and Octavia, having  
already changed clothes, grabbed food from the dining room and went towards the marquee. At the cash register there was a rather large queue. Mostly families,  
only a couple of single couples. Children were worn within sight of their parents all-seeing eyes. Who jumped on bales of straw, who rode a small carousel. Many had  
cotton candy or ice cream in their hands. A cheerful clown was distributing colorful balloons, another made various shapes out of them. It was noisy and fun.

-“We'll go right before the start. If there are no empty seats, we have to stand." Octavia said.

\- "And how long does the performance last?" Clarke asks. 

\- "Two hours. A break of 15 minutes. In the first part, jugglers, clowns and Indra with tigers. After the break, again clowns, aerial acrobats and shows with horses."  
Octavia explained shortly.

\- "Mm ... well, I think for two hours I can survive." said Clarke.

\- "Usually, after a break, several places remain empty. Not everyone remains until the end. Some babies still cannot stand the whole performance." the dark-haired  
reassured tired blonde.

When everyone wished to buy tickets and disappeared into the tent, the girls waited a couple of minutes until everyone sat down and got inside. Octavia looked  
around and grabbed Clarke by the hand, pulled along. They were lucky, next to the entrance in the third row, there were just two empty seats. They sat down and  
looked around. Children excitedly fidgeted in their places, the vain efforts of parents to keep them were successfully ignored. The light turned off. The beam of one  
spotlight illuminated the the center and the person who entered in the arena Clarke recognized Titus in him. He was dressed in a dark burgundy tuxedo, with a black  
bow-tie around his neck. Solemnly he began the performance.  
Griffin enjoyed watching a demonstration of the art of successive artists. When the clowns performed, the blonde sincerely laughed with the rest of the audience. She  
made sounds of delight during the performance of air acrobats and fear if one of them fall down on an extended protective net. The show completely swallowed her.  
She herself did not expect that she would like it.

After the acrobats, there was a short respite, for which the arena was freed. Titus came out again and began to announce the following artists.

\- "Dear viewers, the world famous Head and her warriors will perform in the final show of our performance! You have a unique opportunity to enjoy the art of throwing  
knives, sword fights and, of course, riding skills! Meet Head and her warriors!"

As soon as Titus disappeared, eight riders on horseback drove one after another into the arena, at a full gallop. The procession was concluded by a white mare on  
which Lexa was sitting. Long hair, braided in a tight braid, didn't hide the delightful features of the face, on which, along the eyes, was painted war paint.  
A white silk shirt with wide sleeves was tucked into black pants made of soft leather, the same made of black boots above the knees. On the back were fixed, cross to  
cross, two swords shining in the light of spotlights. The other riders were dressed same; Lexa's white shirt was the only what was difference. They rushed at breakneck  
speed in a circle, performing various tricks. They jumped onto the horse’s back, then jumped on the go and jumped on the horses again, all very synchronously.

\- "Fascinating, isn't it?" bending to the blonde's ear, said Octavia.

-“Yes, she's amazing.” Clarke enchanted, not taking her eyes off the arena.

-“Actually, I had in mind Lincoln.” quietly grinned Octavia.

\- "A? What?" the blonde didn't listen to her friend. She already answered nothing, only the smile became even wider.

After the crazy horse racing, the riders lined up in a semicircle. Lexa and Lincoln dismounted and, after a short foreplay, began to fight. Link with a spear, Lexa with  
two swords. They circled the arena, now attacking, then defending themselves. At some point, Lexa fell on her back and the guy threateningly brought a spear over  
her, even Clarke held her breath when she saw the brunette’s ostentatious, inevitable defeat, but at the last moment she deftly dodged and knocked the opponent  
down with her foot. The fight continued until Lexa made the final lunge and the fallen Lincoln, raising his hands, admitted defeat. 

The audience exploded with applause. Again, preludes and bowing, during which, a large board with balloons attached to it and a table with many knives on it were taken to the arena. Lexa went to the table and picked three knives, moving about five meters away from the board, thrust them into the board one by one. Everyone hit the target. Three more  
knives followed. Each of her movements was filled with grace and confidence. Then one of the riders dismounted. A young beautiful girl, like Lexa with a long dark  
braid, went to the blackboard. The girl leaned back against board and smiled broadly. In the hand of the brunette were three more knives. She didn't smile. She  
concentrated and threw the knives in the board. 

Two were close to the left and right forearms, the third near the left thigh. The girl, without flinching, still smiled.  
Two more flew in the girl direction. One next to the right thigh, the other hit right between the legs. There was thunderous applause. At the end, Lexa pulled out her  
dagger from the scabbard on her hip, paused for a second and with a sharp wave of her hand, the dagger was a couple of centimeters from the girl’s right ear. The  
ovations have become more stormy. Lexa, the girl and Lincoln bowed, jumped on their horses and again rushed around. On the second lap, they began to disappear  
behind the curtain. After the last horse, the light went out and a second later, normal lighting turned on, suggesting that the performance was over.

Clarke blinked a couple of times, she was still impressed.

\- "Well? Will you go again?"

\- "Oh, stop smiling so cunningly." the blonde wave away her. 

\- "Yes, yes, I liked it. Are you satisfied?"

\- "Oh, oh, oh .... that's all, I'm silent."

\- "Be quiet." This time the blue-eyed stuck out her tongue. - "Let's go already."

Near their trailer, the girls decided to sit on the street and breathe in the cooled air. The heat of the day was exhausting and the evening coolness was a real salvation.  
They sat and chatted, waiting for the guys to join them, when suddenly, behind one of the neighboring trailers, they heard rude swearing.  
The voices were getting louder and more aggressive. Looking at each other, the friends rose and moved to find out what was happening. Swearing were those two  
clowns who had successfully amused the audience an hour ago. They were still dressed in colored suits and with paint on their faces, only wigs were missing.  
Nearby Titus watched everything from the side, but didn't intervene until the clowns began to shove each other. The assistant director immediately squeezed between  
them, trying to calm the bully. To no avail. One of them just shoved him aside. At that moment, Titus noticed the girls.

\- "Go, one after Lexa, another after Gustus." he ordered.

-“I don't know who Gustus is.” Clarke said perplexedly.

-“I'll bring him. Call Lexa. Where is her trailer, you know. Her car is standing next to him." threw Octavia and hurried to follow the order. The blonde also went to the  
side where the mustang of the mistress of the circus always stood. Seeing him, she rushed to the trailer, which was the largest in the parking lot. Without thinking to  
knock, she opened the door and burst inside. Two seconds later, the door behind her slammed shut, but Griffin didn’t even notice, as she stood with her mouth open  
when she saw the brunette in front of her.

Lexa stood with her back to the door. Graceful hands gathered wet hair at the back of the head. The naked body, on which droplets of water gleamed, was covered  
only with a short white towel on the hips. The picture itself struck Clarke, but she was numb not because of this. Lexa's whole body was a solid work of art.  
Arms, back, legs were covered with a tattoo. From a distance, she couldn't make out every detail accurately, except for a large tattoo on her back. Two hands stretching  
to each other, barely touching their fingers. It was an excerpt from Michelangelo’s Clarke recognized her because she was interested in art and  
sometimes painted. She was shocked at how beautiful Lexa's body was, and the tattoos made her unique.  
At the knock of a slammed door, Lexa spun around, covering her breast with hands. Brown hair fell over her shoulders, framing her pretty face. Green eyes filled with  
anger at the sight of a blonde.

-“Griffin, are you completely insolent?!” exploded Lexa, while reaching for a robe, that was draped over the back of a chair standing next to her.  
Clarke didn't have time to say anything.

\- "Why are you here?" Turning her back, the brunette hastily put on a long robe.

\- "There the clowns are fighting." the blonde thought the phrase absurd and she barely kept a laugh. -“Titus sent for you.”

-“You keep staring? Wait outside, I'll get dressed." Lexa propping her sides, her eyes pointed to the exit and after a moment she was left alone. Pulling sweatpants and  
a sweatshirt over her naked body, she slipped her legs into the first crosses that she got, grabbed a whip and jumped out after the blonde. The faithful dog Sam  
followed the mistress. - "Where are they?"

\- "Not far from our trailer."

Lexa ran forward Clarke in the right direction. They arrived in time. Troublemakers turned to fists. Gustus and Octavia weren't there. Lexa reacted immediately. The  
sound of a whip made the blonde jumped in surprise.  
But the clowns didn't pay attention to this. When the brunette re-brought her hand to strike, the whip grabbed the ankle of one of the clowns, jerking sharply, she  
threw him to the ground.

\- "Enough!" not tolerating objections, a cold voice sounded. - "Diverge, otherwise it will be worse."  
The men exchanged glances and nodding, parted in different directions.  
-“Titus, what did they not share?”

\- "The Luna. It turns out she meets with both of them." the assistant tiredly scratched his bald head.

\- "In that case, then let them figure it out themselves." Lexa withdrew, not giving the blonde a look.  
A couple of minutes later, panting Octavia came running.

-“Titus, I couldn't find Gustus. Bell said he had gone to town on business."

-“It doesn't matter, Blake. Lexa has already resolved everything. Go to your place." Titus is gone.

\- "What happened?" wanted to know O.

-“You missed the whole show, Blake!” the blonde grinned, hugged her friend by the shoulders and led to the trailer, along the way telling how Lexa knows how to  
handle the whip.

\- "Oh damn, and I missed such a sight." Octavia shook her head dejectedly.

-“Don’t worry, Oh, I’m sure in this place, this is not the last fight and you still have time to see Lexa in action.” Clarke herself was still impressed. First, the naked  
defenseless Lexa, then the merciless mistress of the circus, with one whip, tamed two fighting men. Not every day you see such a metamorphosis.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A translation of Я научу тебя любить by serafina_dieerste.  
> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> My English is not good so i hope you like and enjoy it

There was no weekend in the circus, so the resurrection passed, like any ordinary day. After work, Clarke was again allowed to see the performance. Like the first time,  
she delightedly plunged into the magical atmosphere, forgetting for two hours why she was actually there. The blonde didn't want to admit to herself that partly she  
was drawn there by the performance of a certain green-eyed person.

She tried to find out from Anya some more information about Lexa, but Anya immediately translated the topic. Clarke didnt think to give up, after some time decided  
to try again.  
On Monday morning, Titus knocked on their wagon.

-“I have a message from Lexa for Clarke.” - Griffin was wary, - "Until the end of the week, there are cells on you as usual, after lunch in the stable. You are not allowed  
to perform. I don’t know what this means, but she said, «It will help you remember your manners, plus the fine for spoiled clothes.»

\- "What?!" Clarke was seriously angry, - "I 'm, facking, didn't specifically ruin her clothes!"

\- "I don't know anything. Do better, as she said." Throwing a warning look, Titus went out.

\- "That's a bitch!" the blonde jumped to her feet.

-“What kind of clothes was he talking about, Griffin?”

\- "Damn it, we were bicker, I pushed her away, and as unluck she fell into a pile of manure. But damn it, I’m now to blame for the fact that she can't stand on her legs  
and this pile of shit was just behind her!" Clarke went back and forth, actively gesturing with her hands.

\- "What about manners?"

\- "Yesterday, when I went after her, I forgot to knock, well, she’s almost naked there .... by the way, did you know that she has her whole body in tattoos?"

-“Well, Griffin, you're improbable!” - Octavia laughed, - "You're lucky, like a drowned man."

\- "Oh, shut up you already, Blake, so sickeningly."

-“Rejoice that you got off so easily. You will do what you already know. She could have punished worse." Blake nodded meaningfully.

\- "Oh, how insightful you are, O, I will vomit." the blonde squealed.

-“Calm down, stupid. I'm serious. Remember the rules and punishments."

\- “Do you seriously believe that they dare to raise a hand on us? I am sure that the piece of paper was just for fear." Clarke wave away  
from Octavia.

-“Don't be so sure, Princess.”

\- "Pf ..."

\- "Well, how is she?" Blake translated the topic.

\- "Hm? What are you talking about now?"

\- "About the naked painted body, of course." with a pleased look, Octavia crossed her arms over chest, waiting for an answer.

Clarke stopped walking. -“A normal body ... like everyone else.” looking away, the blonde answered.

\- “Well, it’s clear to me that she probably doesn’t have a tail. What kind of tattoos that you have talking about?"

\- "Ah ... well ... I didn't have time to clearly see them. You don’t think that she remained standing naked. It just struck me that she was literally ALL in them, O, like one  
big picture." blue eyes stared up, remembering again the drawings on the body of Lexa. -“I have never seen anything like this live before.” 

\- "She obviously doesn't fear pain." noticed O.

\- "That's for sure."  
The blonde didn't even want to imagine how many hours Lexa suffered pain, voluntarily exposing delicate skin under the needle. Clarke herself didn't tolerate pain  
and would never have decided even for a tiny tattoo.

* * *

For a while, Clarke humbled herself and faithfully practiced the punishment. On Wednesday morning, her patience snapped when one of the workers dropped a  
bucket of animal feed and scornfully turned to Clarke.

\- “Hey, you are small, take it all away quickly.” pointing to leftover food from the kitchen.

\- "And at you yourself what, hands from the ass?" without even thinking to move in his direction, said the blonde.

\- "Watch your tongue, child! You are here for this and you are in order to clean up the dirt behind others."

\- "Take away your shit yoursef, I'm done!" Clarke threw a shovel in the heat and, without looking back, left. Without hesitation, she went to her room, calmly took a  
shower and fell off onto the bed. She didn't care, at all and everything.  
Reassuring herself that there would be nothing wrong with her, she fell asleep.

* * *

The blonde woke up from the fact that someone abruptly pulled off her blanket.

\- "O, fuck off." without opening her eyes, Clarke began to grope the edge of the blanket.

\- "Griffin! Get up now!" a formidable voice made the blonde open her eyes and sit abruptly. Lexa towered over her, standing next to the bed. - "Explain what the hell  
are you doing?"

\- "And what is not visible? I am sleeping." the blond said as idiot.

-“No, Griffin, you're a greyhound.”

\- "Am I a greyhound ?! You would fucking better pestering your employees as much as you pestering me. It is they who are greyhound. I do not intend to continue to  
tolerate such an appeal!" standing right in front of Lexa, Clarke challengedly looked into green eyes, in which there was a cold and irritation.

\- “And why should we treat to you well, Griffin? You here from the very beginning showed no respect either to circus performers or to their work. You looked at  
everyone with disdain. Of course, the poor rich girl was forced to live in this wretched place, with these ignoramuses, and even work for them." every word from the  
lips of the brunette was given hostility, - "All your life, just like that, everything shoved into your pretty ass. You have no idea what it is to be aground or to sacrifice  
something for the sake of the common good, to starve or feel pain from beating for disobedience, to kneel and beg forgiveness." from growing fury, green eyes lit up  
in emerald color, - "You are an ill mannered, ungrateful, spoiled mama’s daughter who doesn't know respect for either herself or people!" finished her tirade Lexa.  
\- “And so that you feel at least a little of what I have listed, you will sit here and starve until you change your mind and apologize to that worker.”

\- "Oh, choke on your food. I'm not going to apologize. I’m not the slave you bought from my mother, and now you can do whatever you want." from anger, the blue  
eyes also changed and glowed in deep blue.

-“Actually, it's your mother who pays me to tolerate you.” specified Lexa.

\- “Well, if you get paid, than tolerate.” with a mockery the blonde grinned and sat down again on the bed.

\- “But on my terms. So sit here until you change your mind. I will make sure that everyone knows about your punishment, including your friends."

\- "You will not get it!" said the blue-eyed stubbornly.

-“We'll see that, Griffin.”

Lexa came out without waiting for another impudent remark. Clarke remained sitting, grimly reflecting on her future fate. She was definitely not going to apologize.  
_she leaned back on the pillow  
with a pleased smile, Clarke remembered the words of Lexa _

_* * *_

_Clarke spent all day alone, mostly wallowing in bed, sometimes falling asleep. Inaction didn't bother her. She was glad that at the end everyone left her alone. In the  
evening, dirty Octavia fell in._

_-“Griffin, are you living too sweet here, why the hell are you running into trouble all the time?” without accession, the girl began._

_\- “Don't start, O. It's none of your business.”_

_-“Why the fuck, not mine. Your behavior affects  
on us too." angry dark-haired. - "These people are so wary of strangers, now everyone knows what you have done and think that we are the such."_

_\- "What kind?"_

_\- “Disrespectful youths, as Indra told me today. Do you think she always strokes my head? But I see her fidelity and love for the cause, respect her for this and don't  
argue at the slightest opportunity."_

_\- “I can't do that ...” the blonde began to defend herself._

_\- “Yes, of course, you are our princess! Put at least once your pride far away and do what you need and everything will work out."_

_The blonde stubbornly said nothing._

_\- “As you know, Griffin, but I don’t want to spoil the relationship with them because of you.”_

_\- “With them or with one of them?” Clarke asked sarcastically, clearly hinting at Lincoln._

_\- "At least with one." on this Octavia went to the shower. After washing, she dressed silently and left for dinner. When she returned, she found Clarke lying with facing  
to the wall, deciding that she was sleeping, Octavia also lay down. But the blonde only pretended, the empty stomach for a long time didn't let her fall asleep, giving  
her the opportunity to think about everything. She remained with her opinion._

_* * *_

_Waking up late in the morning, she found that Octavia had long gone. Again she had nothing to do, and slowly it began to bother. Before lunch, Clarke fell through,  
even didn't go to the shower.  
It was dinner time when a quiet knock sounded and Finn sneaked into the trailer._

_\- "Hello Princess." with a smile he said, - "look what I brought for you." with pride he raised his right hand with a paper bag._

_\- "Finn! I'm so glad to see you!" the blonde attacked him. She began to go crazy alone, in four walls._

_\- "I am also very happy." the guy was embarrassed from such a meeting, but was no hurry to open his arms._

_\- "What you have there?"_

_\- "Grabbed a little from the dining room. Not starve you in fact."_

_\- "Cool! Here you are a true friend." the blonde loudly kissed Collins on the cheek, - "not like some."_

_\- "Don't be offended by O. You know how she fell in love with all this."_

_\- "Drove through." dismissing, the blonde grabbed the bag from the guy’s hands and eagerly began to pull the contents. It was still a hot burger. - "Mmm ..... food of  
the gods!" the blonde mumbled with a full mouth._

_\- "Eat, there is one more." pleased with the reaction of Clarke, Finn smiled._

_She ate everything to the last crumb, she didn't expect that she would be so hungry for some one and a half days._

_\- "Thanks, Finn." honestly thanked the girl guy._

_\- "To health. Well, I have to go, not everyone is allowed to wallow in bed." Collins dodged the pillow flying at him, winked and disappeared behind the door._

_With a full stomach, Clarke felt much better. Less than two hours later, Raven, all in tears, burst into Griffin with shouts._

_\- "It's all because of you! They will punish him now!"_

_\- "What the fuck are you talking about?" The blonde was in shock._

_-“You are bitch, Griffin! Finn didn't deserve it!" the girl didn't hide anger and despair._

_\- "Tell me finally what's the matter !!!" shouted Clark._

_-“Someone saw Finn steal food from the dining room and report to Titus. And he to Lexe. It was clear to everyone for who it was. And now he is being punished there,  
while the real culprit is lying in bed! You are bitch, Clarke. You only think about your skinny ass."_

_\- What do you mean, is he being punished there now?" with a trembling voice, the blonde asked uncertainly._

_\- "Theft is one of the most unacceptable things in our community, a whip has been put for it!" Raven's eyes filled with tears again._

_\- "WHAT?! Where is he?" Without thinking, the blonde ran out into the street. There was fear in her eyes._

_\- "Behind the tent, they tied him up now." Raven ran forward, showing the direction._

_A minute later they were in place. Around the column gathered a large crowd of people, everyone was silent. Collins stood with facing to the pillar, hands tied up.  
Bellamy and Octavia stood aside, looked at the guy in dismay, not believing what was happening. Titus emerged from the crowd and Lexa followed him. In her hand  
she held a coiled whip. Clarke rushed to run in their direction. Suddenly, a huge bearded man blocked her road. She leaned to one side to get around him, but he  
grabbed her hand._

_\- “Let her pass, Gustus.” the calm voice of the circus mistress was heard behind him. Obediently, he released her hand and stepped aside._

_\- "Don't do this." knocked out breathing, from a quick run, the blonde said._

_\- "Why? He has violated one of the most stringent rules and will be punished for it." in the voice of Lexa wasn't heard a bit of doubt._

_-“But I broke the rules.” regret was heard in a trembling voice, - "then punish me."_

_\- “But Finn stole it, not you.”_

_-“But he did it for me,” tears flowed from her blue eyes. -“He just wanted to help. Please don't do this," Clarke pleaded._

_\- “Then he will be punished for you,” the brunette answered calmly with a share of sympathy. She turned and walked toward the pillar, spreading her whip as she went._

_\- "Please, Lexa! I apologize, I promise!"  
In the crowd she saw that same worker and hurried to him._

_\- "Listen, I'm sorry that I behaved this way. You were right, that was my job. Forgive me." The apology was sincere. The guy was confused and only nodded his head,  
in a sign that he accepts an apology._

_Clarke ran to Lexa and knelt in front of her._

_\- “See, I apologized. I'm honestly sorry." Clarke didn’t know how else to prevent the worst. - "I will do everything as you want! Just don't do this." Bitter tears of  
despair flowed onto dusty ground._

_\- “Gustus, take her away and lock her up.” without turning around ordered Lexa.  
Clarke felt her being picked up by the arm and thrown like a bag of potatoes onto shoulder._

_\- "Lexa, no! Don't do this! Please! Lexa!" Gustus was quickly moving away. Clarke saw how all eyes were turned to her, only the beunette stood, not moving, with her  
head bowed, waiting until Clarke was out of sight._

_Gustus locked her and left. Clarke fell onto the bed and burst into bitter tears. Cursing everything in this world, she blamed herself and her stupid pride, Finn, for his  
kind heart, blamed Lexa for her heartlessness, mother, for sending her here. But most of all herself, for drawing the cute Finn into her showdown with Lexa. Octavia  
was right, her behavior was reflected in others.  
In the future, the blonde decided to keep friends away from this. The fact that this was not the last battle with the mistress of the circus, she was sure. Blue-eyed  
overwhelmed with anger and hatred towards Lexa. She spent the rest of the day alone. _

_Octavia returned when Clarke was already asleep. Blake Jr. noticed tear marks on the blonde's face. Pity woke up in her. She saw how the blonde apologetically  
apologized and with all her heart tried to intercede for Finn. Unfortunately, the laws in the circus were stricter than anywhere else. The police were attracted there as  
a last resort. Basically everything was decided by autocracy, whose judge was the mistress of the circus._

_Collins got ten whips from Lexa, as was supposed to be according to the rules for theft. Blake's helped take the wounded guy to his trailer and healed the wounds  
there. Thank God the wounds weren't so deep as to take him to the hospital. Octavia left him with Bell and, exhausted by a difficult day, went to her house._

_Now, watching her sleeping friend, she was torn by double feelings. On the one hand, it was stinging; on the other, anger over the blonde’s behavior. She didn't know  
how to behave with her in the future. Without strength, she somehow washed herself and fell asleep._

_* * *_

_Again Titus knocked on them in the morning._

_-“Clarke, you're going to the menagerie again today. Your imprisonment is withdrawn."_

_\- "Good." she answered mockingly submissively. - "Can I go to Finn after work?"_

_-“I see no reason to refuse. Do the work and you can go."_

_-“O, I know you're angry, but is there a chance you will start talking to me again?” the blonde asked uncertainly._

_-“Life will show, Clarke. While I'm still mad at you."_

_For herself, the blonde heard a bit of hope in Blake's answer. After they both headed to the dining room. No one spoke at breakfast. Bellamy looked away all the time,  
Octavia buried herself in the tray. So lousy Griffin never felt. Silently having finished, they went to work._

_Anya talked to her as if nothing had happened. the blonde thought sadly. She didn't go to dinner. Again she  
couldn't feel unspoken reproaches. Instead, she worked and finished earlier, hurried to the shower. Then, taking food in the dining room for herself and Finn went to him._

_When she, after a soft knock came in, the guy lay with his eyes closed on his stomach and slept. Putting food on the table, Clarke cautiously sat down beside her._

_\- "Finn." gently removing the lock of hair that fell on her face, the blonde called softly._

_\- "Mm ..?" opening one eye and recognizing the blue-eyed, a joyful smile lit up his face, - "Hello, Princess."_

_\- "Hello." sky-blue eyes filled with tears, - "Forgive me." Clarke could not restrain herself and not to sobbed._

_\- "Hey, hey, princess. Don't. Don't Cry." the guy found warm fingers and squeezed them. -“I didn't even scream.” the guy boasted._

_\- "You fool." a short chuckle was heard through tears. -“Better, I’ll change the bandage for you. I’m the daughter of a doctor anyway._

_-“You don't have to, Clarke.”_

_-“I want to do this for you.”_

_\- "Ok."_

_Removing the old bandage, Clarke gasped at the sight of open wounds. Feeling guilty with renewed vigor rolled over her and tears rolled from her eyes._

_\- "God, Finn ..."_

_-“Princess, you can help me if you promise not to cry or apologize anymore. I knew what I was doing. It is not your fault." Collins said seriously. - "So stop self-flagellation."_

_\- "Ok, ok, I promise." the blonde brushed away the tears and took up the dressing of the wounds, trying to touch them as carefully as possible._

_After they ate Clarke left, leaving Finn to rest._

_Octavia wasn't when she returned. Clarke sighed heavily. Tensions with a friend put pressure on her state of mind.  
The next day everything repeated. Breakfast in silence, work in the menagerie and dinner with Finn. The blame for what happened didn't leave and anger on Lexa was growing._

_The idea of a small but sweet revenge came to her mind along the road from Finn. The performance was in full swing. A new brunette mustang caught her eye and the blonde  
smiled predatoryly. Quickly running to her place and taking what she needed, she returned to the car. She looked around, making sure that there was no one nearby, and set  
to work. After about three minutes, she managed to break into the car. she smiled smugly while driving. It took even less time to close the wires  
and start the car. The taillight lights disappeared into the dark._


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A translation of Я научу тебя любить by serafina_dieerste.  
> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> My English is not good so i hope you like and enjoy it

Lexa sat alone in an empty tent. The performance ended two hours ago and all the artists and circus workers celebrated the end of the week of performances. With this custom,  
circus performers pampered for their work. The last evening before moving to the next city was marked by a bonfire and a drink, which is now almost all the participants were  
busy. The circus mistress had no desire to sit with the others, so she grabbed a bottle of gin and retired to the tent. After a few hours, the workers will begin to disassemble it,  
but now no one will come in here for sure. Lexa had something to think about.

Yesterday after the performance, she and Titus went to her trailer when she noticed from the distance that her car wasn't there.

\- “What the hell?” Lexa rushed to the place where her mustang stood a couple of hours ago. But he was not there, he was also not standing anywhere. - "What the hell?!"

\- "Lexa?"

\- “Titus, my car ... when I left, he stood here, and now he is not here,” undisguised bewilderment reflected on her swarthy face.

\- “But where did he disappeared? You yourself know that no one will dare to take it without demand," Titus was also perplexed.

\- “I think I know WHO would dare ...” the increasing fury couldn't hide from the assistant. He guessed who the mistress suspected. 

\- “Do you think she is so stupid?”

\- “Oh no, Titus, not stupid at all. This is her impudence and insolence has no limits!" Lexa was so angry that if a blonde appeared in front of her, she wouldn't hesitate to  
whipped her.

\- “Are you sure it's her?” in the voice of Titus heard a share of doubt.

\- “We’ll check it now,” the brunette went toward the trailer Griffin and Blake.

Octavia, Bellamy and even Finn were sitting on the bench in front of him and were discussing something excitedly.

\- "Where is she?" Lexa snarled, stepping closer.

\- “Um ... if you're looking for Clarke, then so will we. No one saw her after the performance," Blake Jr. seemed really worried.

\- “She came to me before the performance, after I didn’t see her,” Finn added.

\- “Something must have happened to her,” Octavia's voice trembled slightly, although she was angry, but still worried.

\- “I know what happened to her. Your naughty friend hijacked my mustang," Lexa took a lot of effort to keep her voice calm.

\- "Why did you decide this?“ Octavia didn't believe that Clarke could go that far. She thought the blonde finally realized that she shouldn't run into anymore. Looks like Clarke  
really don't care about all. Blake got even more angry.

\- "I know. When she returns, tell her that we will talk about this" something in this calm voice horrified all three.

Lexa and Titus left as quickly as they appeared.

\- "What are you going to do?" asked Titus on the way back.

\- "I don’t know yet."

\- "You know that you can’t use the whip, your mustang is not the property of the circus."

\- "I know. I suspect even a whip will not fix this stubborn person!" Lexa herself didn't know what she felt now. Anger over yet another impudent trick of a blonde who, with  
reckless insolence, continued to infuriate her. On the other hand, at this moment didn't know how to teach a lesson at impudent, and this infuriated her even more.

\- "Don't do anything yet. When she appears, let her go to work, as usual. The unknown may torment her a little," Lexa said thoughtfully. -“I'll figure it out myself, Titus. Good night."

\- “Good night, Lexa.”

The next morning, Lexa found the car in the same place, with a note under the janitor, The swarthy hand squeezed the note with such force that the  
knuckles turned white. Gritting her teeth, she returned to the trailer. All day it was hard for her to control herself, she kept breaking down on someone. At the end of the day  
everyone tried to stay away from the hostess.

And so she sat with an almost empty bottle of gin, which was clearly making itself felt. In the morning, the dark-haired woman was thinking about how to punish Griffin qualitatively.  
But the tested rage prevented her from thinking clearly, and now, in a drunken state, even more so.

Sam, who laid his face on his crossed paws calmly snoring, suddenly started. There was a giggle and a quiet murmur. A drunk couple burst into the tent and ended up in an empty  
arena, lit by a pair of spotlights.

\- “Look, I told you, nobody is here.”

\- "Yes, yes, you were right, here in the evening ... you ... re ... re...re ally cool!" finally managed to pronounce clearly intoxicated Clarke, arms spread apart, circling in the arena. Her  
head was bulged back, which didn't positively affect her balance. Awkwardly she fell to the floor and laughed.

\- “Clarke, did you hurt?” Finn hurried to her aid.

\- "Nope .... the view is even better from here."

\- "Let me help you." the guy pulled the blonde by the hand, but couldn't resist and fell on to the blonde. She burst into laughter again. Collins was lying on a sexy blonde whose  
breasts pressed snugly against him and simply couldn't restrain himself, fell to her laughing lips. Clarke paused at the first moment, but then answered the kiss. 

The sounds of savory kisses echoed across the almost empty tent. Finn was already wound up and clutching elastic breasts in his hand. There was a faint moan of a blonde, she  
clutching with hands the dark short hair og the guy. The touch was getting hotter.  
The unexpected sound of lonely applause made the hugging couple to freeze.

\- “Well, Griffin, that’s where your talent is. Porn at the circus arena." a familiar cold voice made them jump up in a second.  
Looking around, they tried to understand where the voice was coming from.

Lexa got up from the place where she was sitting, and slowly walked toward these two. Rage flared up with renewed vigor when Clarke with this cute guy appeared in an embrace  
in the tent. But when they almost fucked each other, she could no longer calmly watch this. From an incomprehensible feeling of possessiveness towards the blonde, who behaved  
so shamelessly with Collins, she wanted to go up and throw the snot guy away from the blonde, and whipped her in the cheeks, and not only on them. The moaning of the blonde  
excited her. From anger the body began to tingle.

\- "And, i see, you a connoisseur in porn?" Clarks didn't show that the strange gleam in the emerald eyes scared her.

After she rolled on a the car and went to some cheap movie, where she overslept all the time, she returned the car to the place with a note. At first, the blonde wanted to scratch  
the message right on the car, but her hand didn't rise to spoil such a beauty. The whole next day, Clarke didn't see the mistress of the circus and were engaged in ordinary activities.  
Octavia completely stopped talking to her. Although Clarke didn't understand her anger, this time she excluded everyone from her plan, and if anyone gets it, then only her, but  
Blake had a different opinion. 

At lunch, Finn talked about the party in the evening and they agreed to spend the evening together. The blonde still felt guilty. They had a good drink when Finn offered to show  
her something cool. So they ended up in a tent, and then everything somehow spun itself, and until the brunette woman interrupted them, the evening passed merrily. Now,  
looking into the eyes of the brunette, Clarke experienced uncertainty. Cold calm couldn't be combined with the strange brilliance of rabies in the eyes. But giving up was not in her  
rules.

\- “Not in so cheap, Griffin.” Lexa stood a few meters away and stared at the blonde.

\- “Then go and find someone to your liking.” Clarke didn't let up.

\- "Collins leave us." the brunette threw not looking towards the guy.

\- "Lexa, we just ...."

\- "Go away! Or did you want to try the whip again?" an icy voice terrified.

\- "Finn, go, I’ll deal with her myself." Clarke supported. She was afraid that the guy would get in her place again.

\- "Are you sure?" Collins didn't know how to do right.

\- "Yes, everything is fine. This is not the first time." Clarke reassured him and kissed him on the lips, after which she looked defiantly into green eyes.  
Beautiful features on the swarthy face distorted, nostrils fluttered. The hand lay on a whip, hanging at the waist. Lexa didn't changed clothes after the performance. Collins noticed  
that the mistress was angry and, remembering the theft of the car, decided that was why. After another second, he decided to leave these two alone.

\- “And now what? Will you beat me?" blue-eyed smiled brazenly.

\- "Why? We will end what you and Collins started. Since you are ready to spread your legs for the first young man that comes under the arm, I think I will take this opportunity."

\- "Yeah, right now. Keep dreaming," the blonde lifted her head, grinned. But when she saw the evil gleam in the brunette eyes, she began to suspect that this was not a joke. - "Fuck  
you! You can't fuck me." Clarke quickly said in fright, taking a step back.

At that moment, the whistle sounded and the blonde felt how her twisted around her waist, holding her hands tight, leaving no chance of release. Oddly enough, she did not feel  
severe pain. In two steps, Lexa was there. Grabbing the blond by her hair, she sharply lifted her head and glared roughly into the delicate skin of her pink lips. Clarke tried to resist,  
but the brunette hand only pulled her hair harder, which the blonde moaned at.

\- "Mm ... yes, your moans definitely excite me.” the brunette said sweetly and again dug into the lips. And then she growled loudly when Clarke managed to painfully bite her lower  
lip.

\- “Then you won't hear them anymore, bitch!” the blonde spat out, panting.

\- “It's you in vain, Griffin.” Lexa's voice made the blonde freeze with fear, there was so much threat in him. - "Move, you’ll not only moan now, you’ll scream so much that your  
mother will hear how her daughter being qualitatively fucked." grabbing the whip on the blonde's back, she pushed her toward the exit.

\- "I won’t go anywhere with you!“ Clarke no longer hid the fear that infused her. She tried to push Lexa's hand away.

\- "Shut up, Griffin! Shut up and go!" growled Lexa in the ear.

\- "No!"

\- "Sam! Take her!"  
The blonde didn't expect this, and when she heard the terrible roar of a dog, she remembered the incident in the stable, even more frightened.

\- "Alright, alright I'm going. Call him back." blue eyes sparkled, Clarke was increasingly aware that Lexa is not just scary her. She signaled the dog to leave the team.  
\- "Why do you need me? You even don't like me." an attempt to dissuade the brunette from the plan was unsuccessful. Lexa didn't seem to hear, but with a quick step led them  
both to mistress trailer.

\- "Well, and how will this happen?" even in such a situation, Clarke couldn't pacify her character. She stood in the middle of the spacious circus mistress trailer. It was much larger  
and more comfortable than their trailer. One wide bed alone was worth it.

The brunette turned out to be nearby in an instant, clasped the blonde face with two fingers and again pounced on her lips, biting them in to the blood. The blonde tried to dodge,  
but Lexa grabbed her by the waist, which was still pulled by a whip and pressed to her.

\- "Come on, Griffin, resist, it even turns me on." the free hand painfully grabbed the blonde chest and began to crush, surprisingly swollen nipples. To this Lexa pulled away and  
threw the blonde on the back on the bed. She fell like a tin soldier, with her eyes wide open.

Swarthy fingers, without any tenderness, pulled the white bra down, revealing a beautiful breast. Emerald eyes burned with passion and puffy lips covered a pink nipple, pulling  
deeply into itself. Clarke couldn't restrain a moan, which aroused the brunette one more strongly. In turn, she tormented one then the other chest, leaving marks from teeth.  
Clarke realized that the jokes were long over, and began to wriggle furiously under the brunette.

\- "Let me go, bitch! You'll regret about it! You can’t get away with it!" the blonde screamed.

\- "Scream, scream, baby. It turns me on. Nobody comes here anyway. No one dares to go to the director, no matter what sounds come from here, take my word for it."

\- "Bitch, get off me!" the blonde didn't want to give up. Tears welling in her blue eyes.

But Lexa didno't listen. She went down below, skillfully unfastened of blonde's shorts and in a matter of seconds pulled them off slender legs, together with panties. Clarke frantically  
fought back, aiming at the brunette hated face. But the brunette was very dodgy and strong. Catching both legs, she pulled them together, and sat down again on blonde's hips  
beneath. Lexa felt nothing but wild passion and rage for the blonde. Leaning down, she again wanted to kiss Clarke, but she dodged. An evil grunted, squeezed hard hardened  
nipples between her fingers, the blonde sucked in air loudly and arched underneath.

\- “You see, Griffin, you like it.” a perverted smile bared white teeth. - “And you will like it even more.” and squeezed her nipples with even greater force. Clarke screamed, tears  
streaming down her cheeks. Wide open, blue eyes were again turned to the tormentor. The brunette didn't miss the moment and clutched her teeth on blonde's lower lip, to  
which the blonde painfully bit her upper one.

\- “Great, Griffin, that means no foreplay. Only fuck." the brunette said, rising angrily. Rising from the blonde, the resistance of that one, it's didn't prevent her from roughly turning  
the blonde on her stomach, forcing her legs apart and sitting between them. Clarke seized the horror of what was happening, the body began to shake, there was not enough air,  
she turned her head to brunette side and quickly breathed.

\- "Although, if to fuck you, then for real." The brunette rose again and went to the closet, looking for something in it.

\- “What are you up to, Lexa?” the blonde's voice broke, tears strangled.

\- “You will like it, baby.” with a predatory smile, from the farthest corner, Lexa took out a black strapon.

\- “What are you up to ?!” Clarke repeated with wide eyes.

\- “That which will finally show you who is in charge. Now I will give you a fuck of your whole life." growling, the brunette put on a strap-on directly over the trousers and moved to  
the bed.

\- “Lexa, don't do this. Please! You are drunk and angry. You don’t understand what you’re doing. Please, Lexa!" the blonde cried with a plea in her voice. The pillow beneath her was  
already wet with tears.

\- “Oh, I understand very well what I'm doing. You have long had to be punished as it should."  
The brunette went up to the bed, sharply spread the blonde legs, roughly jerked hips at herself and sat between them. Clarke was already in hysteria trying to break out of this grip,  
but in vain, in this position, with her hands tied on her sides, she had no chance.

\- “Lexa, please, I beg you, don't do this!” shouted the blonde. The helpless body shuddered from sobs.  
But Lexa's mind was clouded by rage and passion. She didn't argue sensibly, she just wanted to punish and fuck an impudent girl.

\- "Mm .... Griffin, no matter how you kick and fight back, your body says otherwise." the brunette said with a groan when she ran her fingers between blonde's legs and felt a lot of  
moisture.

\- "No! Lexa, no! Don't!" crying in a pillow, repeated the blonde.

\- “You’re all expiring like a bitch. I knew that you're gonna like it." fingers, barely restraining, stroking a damp surface. - "Even lubrication is not needed." without warning, she got up,  
sent the strapon and in one sharp movement entered the blonde. A heart-rending scream drowned out the pillow. Clarke jerked, trying to free herself from the object that was  
causing the pain, but firm hands held roughly by the hips. The brunette made another sharp movement with her hips and Clarke moaned loudly. Taking this as a groan of pleasure,  
the brunette became completely brutalized and moved faster, each time pushing a gentle body deeper on herself.

Clarke no longer screamed, but only moaned strangled, with every jolt. Lexa seemed to lose her mind from these moans, bursting into the wild pace again and again, until she had  
cumshot, moaning loudly and falling off onto blonde's motionless body. She lay there for about three minutes, trying to calm her breath. Clarke didn't move all this time and didn't  
utter a sound. Finally catching her breath, the brunette got up, carefully stuck out the strapon and got out of bed.

Having removed it and tossed it aside, she again looked at the blonde, who was lying buried in the pillow and didn't move. Bruises appeared in places on delicate skin, hair was  
disheveled and wet on the sides.  
Something stirred in her chest, which Lexa just certainly didn’t want to feel. Silently bending over, she finally dismissed the whip, turned and left.

*****

Lexa returned after two hours, spending all this time in the stable with the Night Hunter and Sam, reassuring herself that she had done nothing terrible. The blonde was just as  
horny as she was. Lexa felt her moisture and heard passionate moans. It's just that Griffin will calm a little bit now. Probably no one had fucked her like that for a long time, so she  
was furious.  
As expected, Clarke wasn't in the trailer. With a sigh of relief, Lexa sat down on the bed and began to pull off her boots. Her eyes fell on the sheet and a couple of small dark spots.  
She frowned and peered. followed by a quick look at their nails she thought  
Slowly, a terrible truth began to reach her. She sprang up, her boots crashing down.

\- "Fucking shit! It can’t be!" she asserted, like a spell, darted along the trailer. - "Griffin! You are a fool! Damn it! What have I done?!" hands clasped her head, groaned in despair  
Lexa. She was shocked by what she had done. She grossly raped Clarke. Clarke, who was a virgin a couple of hours ago. And the blonde’s screams and groans weren't from passion  
at all, but from terrible pain Lexa was terrified of herself, of how she acted. She wanted to ruin everything in her path.  
The heart was squeezed from the deed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you don't begin to hate Lexa, though she has no excuse


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A translation of Я научу тебя любить by serafina_dieerste.  
> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> My English is not good so i hope you like and enjoy it

A long caravan of numerous trailers, trucks, pickups, and other vehicles moved at a moderate speed along a seemingly endless road. In a blue jeep, in the back seat, a blond girl sits quietly, in front of which, monotonous desert landscapes run, somewhere in Nevada. It was about 11 and they had been on the road since 7 in the morning.  
Two weeks have passed since Lexa brought to the logical ending, that Clarke had already begun more than once. She had sexual experiences with boys and even once with a girl.  
But technically, she remained a virgin, because every time it came directly to this, something inside Clarke rebelled against it. She didn't want to go to the end with any of the guys. Each time, the blonde skillfully dodged. In the end, there are other ways to bring satisfaction. With a girl from the general company, she somehow drunk, also tried a lot of things in bed.   
Sex was not something unfamiliar to her. She experienced passion, excitement and orgasm more than once or twice. The only thing that distinguished her from others, she didn't allow anyone to fuck her. She had not met yet the man with whom she would like to do this. Until Sunday, two weeks ago.

Lexa rudely took what Clarke wanted to share with a special person.   
After the brunette left her alone, Clarke remained lying for some more time, until she was sure that the brunette wouldn't return. Gathering strength, she got up, put on her ripped shorts and torn shirt, on heavy legs walked to her trailer. Between the legs pretty much smart, but the blonde tried to move normally. She was grateful that no one had met her along the way and Octavia wasen't there yet.

Clarke first got into the shower and stood for a long time under warm water. After, She put on pajama shorts and a T-shirt, curled up in bed and lay with eyes open, thinking about what had happened.  
Lexa took her virginity. In a bestial way, without the love and tenderness that the blond girl secretly dreamed of. She hated the brunette for daring to abuse her so much. Used   
strength and advantage over the blonde.

But even more, the blonde was disgusted with herself. Not for what Lexa did to her, but for allowing her to turn out to be so helpless. And even worse, her body, up to a point, lived its own life. While the mind screamed with all the fibers of the soul from fear and horror, the body treacherously reacted to the rude touches of skillful hands. Clarke felt herself aroused and disgusted with herself. She didn't realize that she could be so aroused from such actions. Something told her, if Lexa were at least a bit more affectionate with her, a little more and she herself would have agreed to everything. These feelings frightened her to the tips of her toes. She did not understand herself. How could she have at least a share of attraction to the person who practically raped her. All these thoughts haunted her, for two weeks now.

Waking up the next morning, Clarke discovered that it was already quite late and no one had woken her. There was no Octavia, and there was a breakfast tray on the table. Having put herself in order, throwing hastily food and going out into the street, the blonde saw that more than half of the circus had already been dismantled. Immediately, she went to the menagerie. Dull pain was still felt between her legs, but the girl forced herself to ignore it. Before going to bed, she decided not to give up before Lexa. No matter how painful she is, she will not give her the pleasure of seeming broken.

After all, that was what the brunette sought. To break her. Show who is in charge here, as she put it. Ignore the brunette, it seemed to be the best option of all she thought out. Clarke rejected the idea of reporting on the circus mistress for rape almost immediately. She was almost certain that in court no one would believe her. With her past.  
Marcus was a lawyer and at family dinners, where he was often present, she listened a lot and understood one thing. Rape must first be proven. The lawyer of the opposite side   
would easily find a couple of guys who didn't always witness the approximate behavior of Clarke Griffin. In court, she simply would not have a chance. But to show the brunette   
that she didn't win, that she couldn't break, this, the blonde believed, would be the right answer.

The menagerie had Anya and supervised the loading of cage on powerful machines.

\- "Hi, Clarke. You can start putting all the equipment in those boxes." not surprised a bit at the late appearance of the blonde, said Anya.

\- “I'm sorry I didn't help from the start. No one didn’t wake me." the blonde liked Anya and she didn't want to spoil her relationship.

\- "It's okay." looking strangely, Anya said with a pause. - "Get down to business, we will move forward soon."

So Clarke spent a couple of hours helping Anya to immerse the menagerie. By dinner, at the place where the circus still stood yesterday, there were only a couple of cars and   
trailers left. In between, the blonde saw Octavia with Indra. But she, too, looked at her strangely and didn't speak. Threw on the go a short hello and all. And in general, the blonde noticed, many looked at her with a strange look. In the end, she threw away all thoughts and took up only work. If Octavia is still sulking at her, it's none of her business. To HER Clarke did nothing.

Having loaded the last cage and boxes, Anya pointed her on a blue jeep and told her to ride it with Gustus and Bellamy. This is a bit upsetting. The blonde was hoping to go with Anya. With her, she felt comfortable. But she decided not to contradict and obediently sat in the back seat and began to wait. After 15 minutes, Bellamy and Gustus got into the car. Both greeted each other and the rest of the way they talked only with each other, only occasionally asking Clarke banal things. Bellamy also seemed alienated and didn't joke with her, as usual.

Clarke was hurt. the blonde thought with resentment.   
Arriving late at night in a new place, Griffin, without asking, went to look for Anya and quickly found. By smell. There she began to help this time with unloading. Hard work didn't allow conflicting feelings to come out. They finished about three in the morning.

\- “Clarke, that's it for today. Go to your place. Everything is located, as in the previous place, so you can easily find your trailer." Anya said tiredly.

\- “I will come tomorrow too.” without waiting for consent, the blonde went to a new, old place.

This time, Octavia was already in bed, but didn't sleep.

\- “Eat, Clarke. I brought dinner for you." O, wearily nodded toward the table.

\- "Why such worries. I thought you were ignoring me." the answer sounded too harsh.

\- "I don't ignore, I was busy. Same as you."

\- “So busy that you didn’t have time to wake me?”

\- "Um ... Anya found me and said not to wake you up, because you kind of went over in the evening and you felt bad." answered O with poorly concealed displeasure.

\- "Anya told you so ???" to say that the blonde was in shock, to say nothing.   
\- “Didn't say anything else?” trying to hide the shock, asked Clarke.

\- "No. You know, this is very strange, you hijack a hostess’s car, and they leave you to sleep for it." the dark-haired woman squinted suspiciously.

\- "I didn't ask about it, O."

\- “And when did you get drunk? Finn said that when he left you with Lexa, you were not so drunk."  
At the name of the mistress of the circus, Clarke internally shuddered.

\- "Lexa and I concluded to some extent ... a truce." the blonde thought, stammered, - "I drank with her, but to see, to interfere was a bad idea."

\- "Clearly, you are now on 'you' with the boss. Griffin, there are some surprises in you. Well then enjoy the privileges." mockery sounded in the voice of a friend.

\- “I have no privileges!” unable to stand it, the blonde cried out. - "You know that, O. Leave me alone with your jokes and teachings. I don’t give a damn about your opinion about my behavior," at that moment she felt hurt, from undeserved reproaches, but could not tell the truth. She was ashamed. Ashamed of herself.

\- “I already realized that you don't care about everyone except yourself,” the dark-haired woman turned to the wall, and they no longer spoke.

They didn't speak in the following days. Clarke shut herself in. Finn tried to talk to her a couple of times, but she politely but persistently pushed away him off. She didn't want to communicate with anyone. Only with Anya Clarke felt normal. She remembered what Octavia had said, but didn't dare to ask why Anya had lied. Anya, the first days, more than once threw to her strange looks, over time she stopped, and she behaved, as before.

For two weeks, Clarke worked from morning till night and didn't complain. She got used to this work, to beasts and Anya. She even began to like to feel useful for the first time in her life. A full-fledged personality who invests in society. Octavia no longer had to wake her up in the morning. The internal clock itself tuned, the body adjusted itself and neither light nor dawn to woke up.  
For two weeks, Clarke barely met Lexa. Saw a couple of times in the distance. The mistress of the circus froze each time when they met, and each time Clarke forced herself to look indifferently, proudly throw up her head and move on. Lexa didn't try to start a conversation, which Clarke was glad because she didn't know how she would react to it.

And here they are again in a new place. The unloading procedure is the same. On that day, she again ended up in bed late.  
Tuesday morning began as usual. Clarke had breakfast at such an early time now alone, for all days voluntarily moving away from her new friends. Their eyes and silent reproaches pressed on her already tense nerves.

Anya met her at the menagerie and asked her to go to the stable and give two packages of horse food. Clarke loaded the heavy packages onto the wheelbarrow and drove to the stable. Inside, she found no one and decided to leave food at the wall of one of the stalls. At the exit, she froze. In front of her stood Lexa, dressed for riding. She also froze and stared at the blonde.  
So they stood seems like an eternity. Each of the girls displayed a storm of emotions on they face.   
Regret, uncertainty, surprise and a share of admiration could be guessed in green eyes.   
With anger, shame, stubbornness and neglected indifference, the blue blazed in response.  
Clarke was the first to wake up. Pulling herself together, she silently walked around Lexa and wanted to go her own way.

\- “Clarke, wait,” uncertain voice stopped her. Clarke froze, but didn't turn.

\- “Why didn't you tell me you were a virgin?” Lexa asked perplexedly.  
Clarke swallowed loudly, exhaled deeply, and turned. Explicit regret was read in the opposite eyes.

\- “Would that change anything?” she asked doubtfully.

\- "Yes."

\- “Don't flatter yourself, Lexa!” Clarke pissed off this false statement. - "Be honest though with yourself. Tell you that, at that moment, you would still not believe me! I begged you not to do this, but you didn't care. You took what you wanted, and now leave me alone!" Clarke cried out. Lexa twitched, as if from a slap in the face.

\- “You're mad at me, Clarke. And you have every right to do so, but you are also angry with yourself,” the brunette said confidently. - “You cannot deny that your body reacted to me.”

\- "Yes, Lexa. But I had no choice, and you have no the honor!" like spat out, Clarke said, turned around and left. She wanted to run away as quickly as possible, but she restrained herself. Lexa's words hit her hard. She hated the idea that she understood how things really were. Shame and pain gripped her with renewed vigor. Once in the menagerie, she flew past Anya, grabbed a shovel and angrily began to throw manure into a wheelbarrow.

\- “Clark, is everything all right?” Anya noticed the condition of the blonde. It was like a clockwork throwing one shovel after another.

\- “Yes,” Clarke said through gritted teeth.

\- "Clarke, stop," putting her hand on the handle of the shovel, Anya made the blonde stop. - "What happened?" naked concern sounded in the voice of the dark-haired.

\- “Nothing,” Clarke looked away. She could hardly restrain treacherous tears asking for outward.

\- "Well, come with me." Anya led her around the corner of the menagerie and, sitting on a haystack, sat next to her.

\- “It's nerves, Anya. It will pass soon,” the blonde muttered, sniffing.

\- “Yeah, nerves named Lexa?” Anya added knowingly. Clarke raised her head and stared in amazement at the dark-haired.  
\- “I know what happened, Clarke. Lexa came to me that night and told me everything," a quiet explanation sounded.   
The blonde bit her lip so as not to burst into tears. Anya gently hugged her by the shoulders and pulled her to her, but Clarke at that moment couldn't bear the closeness and   
firmly moved aside, shaking her head.

\- “And what do you want to tell me?” swallowing tears, the blonde asked.

\- “I see what condition you have been in since then. You are closed from all and work tirelessly. I understand, so you are trying to separate from what happened. I don't want to justify Lexa. What she did was a terrible mistake. She understands this and she is terribly sorry. Believe me."

\- “I didn't hear from her apology,” Clarke threw herself sarcastically.

\- “And you won’t hear,” Anya answered with a sigh of sorrow. - “I'll tell you a little about her now. Don't think that I want to justify what she has done. I want you to know the truth, maybe then you will understand why is she so."

\- “Why did you decide that I was interested?”

\- “Because I see that you don't give a damn. I have seen you look at her after that many times. You think that you hide your emotions well behind indifference, but your actions   
betray you. You care."The blonde stared stubbornly before herself, not reacting at all.

\- "Lexa was five years old when her mother disappeared one fine morning. Old Montanelli was her uncle and turned out to be the only remaining relative. Nobody knew Lexa's   
Father. Lexa's mother refused to say who he was. When she disappeared, Montanelli, as the responsible head of the family, took custody of the five-year-old girl. He was, like all Italians of his generation, very strict and pious. In addition, our circus life is different from normal. Here the strongest survives. Tough rules and penalties. Therefore, the old man brought up Lexa, as he considered it right and no one dared to intervene. He considered love, tenderness, gentleness and the like to be calf tenderness and kept repeating that it was a weakness. And weak people cannot survive in the circus. Unfortunately, little Lexa inherited the stubborn nature of her mother and often didn't obey the old man, breaking all possible rules. And for breaking the rules, as you already know, we always have to be punished. About ten years, the old master did without beating. Hard work or a hunger strike, but his favorite punishment was to put Lexa on her knees and make her ask for forgiveness. Don't count how many times she, sometimes for two hours, stood on her skinny knees, read prayers for forgiveness or simply repeated this word again and again. He always carried her with him, so she had to stand everywhere, in his trailer, in front of him on hard ground, in the rain or in the scorching sun. The old man was sure that he would temper her spirit and make her strong. We all saw this, but no one had the right to intervene.

Anya told, looking in front of her, and didn't see how blue eyes widen and fill again with tears, but this time, for a completely different reason.

\- “She was about ten years old when she rebelled against him for the first time. Lord, I remember how now she boldly looked into his eyes, so thin, with long limbs and two dark pigtails, and resolutely shouted that she would never kneel again and would not ask for forgiveness" a sad smile fell on her thin lips . - "You know, she was the only one who dared to contradict the old man. It seems to me in secret, he even admired her for this. He could not stand the weakness and with all his might, tried to knock out any weakness from Lexa.  
No matter how much he admired her, he couldn't let us think that she could be so rebuke. Therefore, they began to punish her in all severity. Then she got a lash for the first time.  
She tried so hard not to cry, but she didn't succeed. She was about an hour later, lying on my lap after that and cried. If it weren’t for her stubbornness, maybe she didn’t get so often, but alas. Over the years, she probably received hundreds of lashes or whips. Montanelli took her to the show and taught horseback riding, knife throwing and martial arts since childhood. I don’t even want to know how many scars she has from swords on her body," Anya shook her head destructively.

\- "Why didn’t anyone intercede for her?" Clarke asked in a trembling, quiet voice. From the heard chest to pain tightened.

\- “And who, Clarke? He was everything she had. Abot mother she forgot over the years and didn't remember that life could be different. Some tried to take care of her, but the old man was ruthless and forbade any tenderness with her. She just doesn't know what love is. The only creatures she loves are animals."  
\- “It seems she was fifteen when she dragged Sam from somewhere,” Anya smiled, remembering the faithful dog. - "The old man tore and metal, trying to get Lexa to get rid of the puppy. But the one how the brave warrior didn't concede and yet defended Sam. After a couple of days, Lexa didn't notice, and the stupid puppy raised his hind foot directly onto Montanelli's boot. He was furious, pulled out the lash and already swung at Sam, when Lexa appeared, grabbed him in her arms and covered herself from the infuriated Montanelli, he didn't care and he whipped her for it. Then she could not get up for three days, so strong she got it. After this incident, I never saw her crying again, no matter how hard and often the old man beat her. She seemed to cut off the pain, and probably many other emotions too," helpless tears dripping from dark eyes. - “Now you know everything, Clarke.   
This, though not the whole life of Lexa, is probably the most significant. If she doesn't apologize, this doesn't mean that she is not sorry. I don't ask you to forgive her, but don't judge her hastily."

Anya rose heavily, as if a load of guilt, for the inaction of many years, in front of young Lexa, still lies on her shoulders.  
\- “This is a very sad story, and Lexa will probably be furious if she finds out what I told you about her. But I'm sure it will be better. Better for you two."

\- "Anya?" a hoarse voice was heard. - "He ... He raped her?" in a broken voice, asked Clarke with fear.

\- "No. I’m sure not,” Anya answered firmly. - "Fortunately, the old man was a strict moral man. But you know, Clarke, sometimes mental abuse, can be a lot worse than physical abuse."  
Unable to add anything else, Clarke nodded in agreement.

\- “You can sit here a little longer, and I will go to work further. Come when you are ready. I know how such a story works."

\- “Ok,” Clarke answered, looking in front of her.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A translation of Я научу тебя любить by serafina_dieerste.  
> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> My English is not good so i hope you like and enjoy it, thanks

Clarke sat alone for another ten minutes, looking nowhere, and time after time scrolling through the gloomy tale of the life of Lexa. Her head was spinning, and her heart was   
contracting with pity. She was shocked by such child abuse. A defenseless, innocent creature for which absolutely no one stood up. Indescribable anger at all these people, who, under the cover of ridiculous rules and laws, have been watching for years of abuse of little Lexa and no one has accepted the attempt to prevent this.   
All the hypocrisy, cruelty and deceit that were hidden behind such a deceptively, promising word "circus" inspired the blonde with disgust.

Having overpowered herself, the blonde got up and headed back to the menagerie, where she undertook with redoubled tenacity to clean the cells. She wanted to push out of   
consciousness all the thoughts that overwhelmed her. She felt a little more and she couldn't stand it. Emotionally acting like a robot, that's what she wanted the most. And she   
managed to do it for the next hour and a half.

\- “Clarke, where is the wheelbarrow in which you took the feed?” a question was heard from Anya.

\- “Um ... I seem to have forgotten her at the stable. I'll bring her now." the blonde started slightly from an unexpected voice, as she completely lost herself, away from reality. 

Now she noticed that her hands were terribly raw, her back was burning with pain, her throat was dry. There was terrible stuffiness and the shirt was nasty sticky to the body from sweat. The sickening stench, to which she seemed to have long been accustomed, was now unbearable and didn't allow breathing. With an accelerated step, she went toward the stables. She just needed fresh air.

The distance between the menagerie and the stable was small, Clarke managed to breathe a couple of times with a wide chest, hoping that this would be enough for some more time. In the stable, she immediately found a wheelbarrow. Unfortunately, someone loaded it all with the same manure, so she had to be pushed behind the stable to empty it. Half a way, the front wheel was bent on a stone, Clarke didn't manage to hold such a heavy weight with her weakened hands and knocked over a wheelbarrow. A huge pile of manure crumbled, partially finding itself on the blonde herself. The stench struck her nose with special force.

This was the last straw for the blonde's tense nerves. She tried, as best she could, to control herself and not succumb to the latest events. Emotions overwhelmed her, but she could be strong. And then an ordinary pile of manure brought her consciousness to the point.

Hands shook, breathing became flat and frequent. Clarke felt the need to break out of this hell immediately. Hiding away from all these people, hiding lies and deceit behind masks from smiles and laughter, from Lexa abusing her, from friends who unjustifiably reproach her and most of all from herself.  
At that moment, her gaze fell on the Night Hunter, peacefully standing at the corral. Not realizing what she was doing, she jerked in his direction. The only thought was - get out of here. The horse began nervously tapping its hooves, noticing the approach of a stranger.

\- "Stand!" She didn't expect from herself, such power in her voice, she cried out. Surprisingly, the black stallion obediently froze. Immediately untying the reins, Clarke climbed onto the bar and after a second sat in the saddle. Finding herself on the back of a large animal, she froze, not knowing what to do next. She never sat on a horse. Twitching the impressive size of the muscles under her legs and the height at which she was sitting, sobered a little and cooled the ardor of the blonde. The horse and rider seemed numb.

Suddenly heard a funny dog barking. flashed in a blond head. The dog jumped out of the stable and ran straight at them, Lincoln and Lexa followed him. The blonde   
managed to see a shock on the faces of both, and then fear in emerald eyes.

\- "Clarke, no!!!" the brunette shouted in horror. 

Farther the blonde didn't hear to anything. What happened was to be expected. The Night Hunter, rustling loudly, stood on his hind legs. The blonde, clinging with all her might, struggled to stay in the saddle. And then the horse run.

The blonde buried her face in a thick mane and grabbed the horse by the neck with all her strength. She didn't reach the stirrups and squeezed her hips as best she could, trying to stay in the saddle like that. The wind whistled in ears, squeezing eyes Clarke couldn't think of anything except how to hold on and not fall out of her last strength. She suspected that if she fell, then it was quite possible to turn her neck. But with each movement, she felt with fear that there was less power left and she slipped to side by centimeter by centimeter. As a result, the exhausted hands couldn't stand it and let go.

*****

Lexa wanted to take Night Hunter to the stall. Lincoln met her at the stable, with whom they further discussed the upcoming training when, approaching the corral, the brunette saw a picture that made her heart pass a beat. Or even two. The blonde, about whom thoughts have not left her for two weeks,now was sitting astride on her black stallion. she thought at the first moment, but the next second the reality of the situation reached her. Thoughts flashed in a head in a kaleidoscope.

After that night, she was not own to herself. Remorse for the deed tormented the mind, not giving a moment of peace. After the recognition to Anya, she didn't feel any easier.   
Lexa couldn't trust anyone except Anya. She was, one might say, her only friend. Seeing the sincere remorse of the brunette, Anya still couldn't help but to promise Lexa to look after the blonde. Since then, Anya has been reporting every day, as is the case. And every day the news was the same. Clarke controls herself as best she can. Helping hard. However, Lexa was concerned about the unjustified behavior of the blonde's friends.

She hoped communicating with them would help the blue-eyed girl survive the deed she had done. The brunette didn't believe that Clarke would forgive her. She wouldn’t forgive such a thing.. _Lexa honestly admitted to herself. She was afraid that her cruel behavior caused irreparable damage to the psyche of the blonde. Imagine her surprise when the next day, she learned from Anya that Clarke had insisted on working with her, as before._

_For two weeks, sometimes meeting her gaze and seeing indifferent eyes looking through her, the brunette was amazed at the blonde's endurance. with genuine admiration flickered in her head. She had never seen such stubbornness and fortitude before anyone else. Maybe only at herself, not without a share of self-conceit, the brunette compared._

_*****_

_\- “Lincoln get in the car and fullow behind me!” Lexa screamed, already sitting on a nearby ATV, after she, as if in slow motion, watched with horror a horse that had stood on its hind legs and carried an inept rider into the desert. - "Take someone with you!"_

_Lincoln ran to the pickup truck.  
\- "Octavia, get in the car!" he shouted to a girl nearby. She, without asking, obeyed. She couldn't refuse to this guy in anything. After a couple of seconds, they were driving behind Lexa, seen in the distance._

_\- “What happened, Link?”_

_\- "Clarke sat on the Night Hunter. He run. Lexa before us has already gone after them," the guy briefly explained the situation._

_\- “She have completely out of her mind ?!”_

_\- "I don't know, O."_

_\- "Well fucked up!" didn't hold back Blake._

_Squeezing out of the ATV everything that he was capable of, Lexa rushed through the desert, not losing sight of the dark silhouette. She herself couldn't make out for whom she was worried more at that moment, for the black stallion, who could at any moment stumble on countless pits and potholes and hurt himrself before anything, or for the obstinate blonde, who, Lexa was sure, was not able for long to stay on her horse, as at a distance saw how the twisted figure of the blonde slanted obliquely from the back of the horse. Genuine fear, now definitely for the blonde, seized her and she completely twisted the throttle._

_Clarke held out for another fifty meters and in front of the brunette, at a full gallop, fell off the horse, flying a couple more meters and turning over several times, froze. Having approached as close as possible, Lexa rushed to the motionless figure of a blonde lying on her stomach._

_\- "Clark!" Lexa called in fright, landing on her knees. - “Clarke, can you hear me?” Her voice was trembling, her hands were beating with a small tremor. She didn't dare to turn the blonde over, thinking that if she damaged the spine, then she could harm her even worse. With trembling fingers, the brunette carefully freed blonde hair from face adhered to her.  
\- “Clarke, wake up.” she patted lightly on her pale cheek. - “Please, Clarke.” trembling in her voice betrayed the whole gamut of emotions experienced by her._

_Suddenly the dark eyelashes fluttered and the blond opened her eyes. There was a sigh of relief._

_\- “Clarke, look at me.” trying not to frighten, brunette said quietly. Obeying, blue eyes stared into green. A second, two, three, and a meaningless look finally became clear. Clarke's first reaction was to rise._

_\- "No! Don't move. Wait." Lexa hastily stopped Clarke, putting her hand on blonde's shoulder and pressing her slightly to the ground.  
\- "Can you move your toes? the brunette asked carefully."_

_\- "Yes." Clarke said in a hoarse voice, quickly checking the function of her toes._

_\- "Well. Is anything hurting you?" continued to ask the brunette. - "Can you move your arms and legs?"  
Clarke hesitantly, in turn, bent all four limbs.  
\- "It's good. Can you see me clearly? How many fingers do I show?" Flexing her little finger and thumb of her right hand showed Lex.`_

_\- "Three. May I get up now?" Clarke began to annoy the interrogation of Lexa. Her head was still ringing, but otherwise she felt normal. she said to herself not believing her luck. At that moment when she flew from a horse, her whole life flashed before her eyes. The blonde was sure that it's over._

_\- "I think it is possible. Although you may have a concussion. For the next 24 hours, watch your reaction, if you start to feel sick or dizzy, you will need to go to the hospital."  
Clarke thought, rising from the ground and brushing off dust. At this point, Octavia and Lincoln arrived._

_\- “Clarke, are you alive?” Blake cried out not without panic, jumping out of the car._

_\- "It's okay, O. I'm safe." the blonde was confused as the behavior of Lexa, who so carefully dealt with her condition, as well as the unjustified anxiety of her friend, who had been unfair to her all this time._

_\- “Blake, drive with Clarke in a pickup truck. Lincoln, you are on an ATV, and I will come on the Night Hunter." departing from the shock, the circus mistress gave orders._

_All three went to their places and started back. The brunette, putting two bent fingers to her lips, whistled loudly and a horse standing nearby, jogged to the mistress. With an  
experienced eye, watching the movement of the animal, the brunette make sure that everything was also in order with him. Dashingly jumping into the saddle, the brunette   
approvingly patted her beloved horse in the neck and fixed her gaze on the receding pickup.  
Clarke and the Night Hunter remained intact. Fear disappeared, giving way to rage, and striking the croup twice, the brunette launched a horse at a gallop._

_Before the three had arrived at the stable, Lexa arrived in time, almost on the move, jumping off the horse._

_\- "You ... !!!!" the brunette roared, to the blonde in the face who just getting out of the car. - “Do you understand that you could kill both of you ?!”_

_Clarke took a step back from the unexpected change of mood of the brunette. Lexa now reminded her of a dragon who was about to let the flames come out of her nose, the  
nostrils of the brunette were swollen to such an extent._

_\- “Do you want to hate me and take revenge? Well done, but don’t touch the animals!" anger in his voice mixed with supplication. - “You generally understand that the Night  
Hunter could have hurt himself so badly that I would have to shoot him!” Lexa fell on a desperate cry._

_\- “I didn't mean to harm him.” Clarke was seriously taken aback. She really didn't think about the consequences when she sat in the saddle. How risky her impulse was, it was only now reaching her._

_\- “You lack the thrill, Griffin? Fine. Come on!" grabbing the blonde by the arm, Lexa pulled the girl out of the stable._

_\- “Lexa, what are you up to?” right there remembering the ill-fated night, the blonde froze with fear._

_\- “Don't worry, I'm not going to touch you.” the brunette noticed a change in mood and sarcastically hastened to reassure the blonde.  
\- “Lincoln, get the show board ready!” threw Lexa to the guy who standing aside, he immediately run forward. All this time, he and Octavia watched the angry tirade, not   
understanding what was really happening between the two._

_Clarke didn't quite reassure Lexa's answer. She had no doubt that brunette had prepared for her, if not another rape, then all the same nothing good. The unkind luster in emerald eyes and the iron grip above the elbow were direct evidence of this. Clarke hurriedly stood nearby, deciding not to resist yet and first find out what she had to test this time._

_Lexa headed straight for the tent, which was already standing in its usual place. Inside were all the artists participating in the performance with the horses and were waiting for the start of the training. When the girls almost burst through the curtain, many pairs of eyes stared at them, puzzled running from the brunette to the blonde and back.  
The brunette looked around the arena and when she saw Link she pushed the blonde in his direction._

_\- "Go to the board!" brunette said shortly._

_\- "No!!!" Clarke shouted in horror. Seeing a board and a table with knives next to her, she didn't need much time to understand what Lexa was up to._

_\- “I swear on Sam’s life, if you don’t get to the blackboard, I’m going to call the judge right away and your whole deal with the prosecutor will go to hell and you will be in prison tomorrow !!!” said the brunette to Clarke almost in her ear._

_The unnaturally calm voice frightened the blonde more than all the furious screams before that combined. She swallowed loudly and walked up to the board on her cotton legs._

_Lexa followed and stopped next to the table. When the blonde turned with face to brunette, her back pressed tightly against the board, she saw three knives in the hands of Lexa. The whole body began to pound with fear._

_\- “Griffin, don’t shake so much if you don't want me to hit into one of your delightful blue eyes.” the brunette said in all seriousness, raising her right hand behind head. Clarke didn't have time to think about the strange compliment of Lexa.  
The knife landed to the left of her face. The blonde let out either a scream or a squeak and closed her eyes. Before she could take another difficult sigh, she heard another knife stuck somewhere near the right side of her head and, after a moment, another one between her legs, at the height of her knees. She waited some more time, not daring to open her eyes, because she was afraid, if she saw a cold weapon flying at her, would certainly jerk to the side. But nothing happened._

_\- "Not bad. You will participate in the show. Tomorrow morning, the workout starts at nine. Don't be late." Lexa stood in front of blonde with a satisfied grin. - “Blake, take away Clarke. Enough adventure for today."_

_Clarke didn't notice that O, too, ran into the tent. The blonde was so shocked that she couldn't move. A friend came closer to her.  
\- “Come on, Clarke,” Octavia called softly, but Clarke didn't move. Octavia carefully took her hand that was hanging down along body and led the blonde along._

_*****_

_Having come to trailer, Octavia seated the numbed Clarke on the bed, squatted in front of her and, looking into the eyes that looked with an invisible gaze, seriously asked,_

_\- “What is happening, Clarke?”_

_Octavia already thought that she would not get an answer, as blonde's body shook from soundless sobs and Clarke burst through. She cried for a long time on the shoulder that Blake hugged, and with terrible tears all the terrible experiences and complex emotions collected for all this time came out. Octavia waited patiently while her friend poured all the pain out of herself. When there were no tears left, Clarke pulled away from and, looking straight ahead, began to talk about everything that had happened to her._

_\- "God, Clarke!" in a whisper, shocked by what she heard, Blake said. - “Why were you silent?”_

_\- “I'm ashamed. O, I'm so ashamed. And scary," admitted Clarke. Opening up to her friend, she felt that it became easier for her to breathe._

_\- “I don’t even know what to say.” shook her head shocked Octavia._

_\- "No need to say anything. I don’t want pity, O. Just thanks for listening." Clarke said in a hardened voice._

_\- “Ok, Griffin. But let's agree, you will no longer be silent."_

_\- "I will try to."_

_\- “Forgive me for being such a fool.” Octavia said in a guilty voice, a few minutes later, which both girls were sitting on the bed and both were thinking about their own._

_\- “Everything is fine, O.” Clarke looked at her friend. - “You didn’t know, and I myself am partly to blame.” blue eyes fell on crossed fingers._

_\- “Clarke, I hope you don’t think you are to blame for what Lexa did to you?” Blake seriously worried about it. She heard that rape victims often blame themselves for what  
happened._

_The blonde in response lowered her head and said nothing._

_\- "Clarke! Nobody deserved it!" O turned the blonde to her and forced to look at herself. - "It is not your fault!" convinced the dark-haired._

_\- "I know, O. That's not the point." taking a deep breath, the blonde admitted, - "I liked what she was doing. No, not me. To my body." She corrected herself quickly, - "I got horny, you know? And she knows that." Clarke dropped her eyes again in shame. - "I don't understand this. What's wrong with me?"_

_\- “Clarke, I’ll guess something now, only you listen first. Don't explode." decided Octavia. The blond nodded in agreement._

_\- "Between you, as I understand it, from the very first meeting there has been tension." began Blake. - "Maybe the fact that you were aroused was a physical reaction to an  
unconscious attraction to her. To be honest, no matter how bitch she is, she looks amazing. If I weren’t one hundred percent natural, I probably wouldn't have thrown her out of bed either." the dark-haired tried to justify her theory._

_\- “I ..... I don't know, O. To be honest, I don't want to think about it. I want to forget." the blonde didn't want to develop this topic, as once she thought about it herself. But she  
stuck this absurd thought into the farthest corner of the subconscious._

_\- "Ok, I'm sorry." said Octavia conciliatoryly. They fell silent again for several minutes._

_\- "Seems I fell in love." Blake said with a wide smile._

_\- "How?" immediately distracted by Clarke from his gloomy thoughts._

_\- “Well, Lincoln and I kind of dating.” The cheeks of O blushed._

_\- "I knew it!" exclaimed the blonde and smiled back. - “And why were YOU silent as partisan?”_

_\- "I didn't want to rush to talk about it. We have not known each other for so long. But I'm sure I fell in love as soon as I saw him." Octavia sighed in love._

_\- “That means with whom you disappeared in the evenings.”_

_\- "Yeah ... he's awesome on all counts." admitted O._

_\- "On all ???" Clarke narrowed her eyes._

_\- "Um ... no, I don’t know about this point yet." Blake guessed what her friend was hinting at. - "Not yet. But I'm sure that with this, too, everything will be amazing."_

_\- “That's it, Blake keep your sexual fantasies to yourself.” the blonde began to brush it off._

_\- “I haven't even started with them, Griffin. Want i tell you how I imagine saddle Link?" the dark-haired smile hopefully._

_\- “Shut up, O.,” Clarke said, covering her ears with hands and laughing._

_\- "Okay, I pity for your gentle soul." graciously answered the friend. - “Listen, Griffin, from our confessions, I'm hungry.”_

_\- "I wouldn't have refused." Clarke confirmed. - “But I don’t really want to see anyone else now.”_

_\- “Then let’s do that, I’ll instantly go to the dining room and bring us something to eat, while you can still take a shower.”_

_\- “Good idea, Blake.” the blonde was delighted._

_\- "I instantly." Octavia hid behind the door._

_Clarke came out of the shower and Octavia came almost immediately. The girls ate and after Octavia also went to the shower, both fell on the bed and began to talk about stuff._

_\- “O, please, don’t tell anyone about me and Lexa.” Clarke suddenly said._

_\- “Of course, princess. I was not going to." reassured her Octavia._

_\- "Thanks." The blonde seriously looked at her friend. - “I'm glad I shared with you.”_

_\- “It's my pleasure, Clarke. For what am I to you?" O smiled warmly in response, - "Okay, let's sleep already." she added yawning._

_Clarke got out of bed and climbed onto under the covers._

_\- "Good night, O."_

_\- “Good night, Clarke.”_


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A translation of Я научу тебя любить by serafina_dieerste.  
> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> My English is not good so hope you like amd enjoy it

All week Clarke spent every day before dinner in the tent. The main part of the training, she sat in the place of the audience and watched what was happening in the arena.  
The first morning, Lincoln met her at the tent and told her to come in and wait until they were finished. Lexa with the other participants was already there. At the sight of Griffin, the circus mistress only calmly looked at her and pointing to the first row said, 

\- “Clarke, you can sit there and watch. I'll call when i need you."

On this, Lexa returned her attention to training and the rest of the time, it would seem, didn't notice the blonde. During this time, Clarke saw another Lexa. She worked with the rest on equal terms. She was strict but fair. If someone made mistakes, she pointed to them, without belittling the dignity of the artist. She honed her skills and repeated the exercise, over and over, until she achieved the perfect result. Everyone respected her, Clarke was immediately noticeable to this.

The arrogance, hubris and mockery that Clarke was accustomed to seeing in a brunette didn't appear at all during training. Professionalism and perseverance. That's all, no extra emotions.  
When it was Clarke's turn, her heart began beating again wildly, and knees began to bend on uncertain legs. But the blonde was vainly afraid.

\- “Clarke, this is Costia. She will work with you movement  
for the performance." all the same confident tone the brunette introduced girl. This was the same girl with a long braid, who usually stood at the blackboard and smiled with all 32 teeth, while Lexa threw knives at her. - "With knives we will begin tomorrow. You two can start, but I have to go."  
Not expecting such a turn, the blonde, not knowing what to answer, silently watched Lexa leave the tent.

\- "Come on, work out a couple of movements. You just need to move confidently and smile sweetly." Not very friendly start Costia.

\- "Do you have any problems with this?" blonde was tired that everyone was not happy with something and Clarke decided it was better to clarify the situation right away.

\- “You shouldn't be here. You distract her. So yes, I have a problem with that." The reproach sounded, but Clarke thought that there was more than just concern for training.

\- “I didn’t beg for be here.”

\- “No, and yet you're here. So let's get started." Costia turned around and went to the board, began to show several movements that Clarke had already seen during the   
performance. Everything was quite simple, it was only necessary to remember the sequence. In an hour they finished.

After that, Clarke grabbed a tray of lunch for herself and Anya and headed for the menagerie.

\- “Well, how did it go today?” the dark-haired wanted to know.

\- "Calm." with a short delay, the blonde answered.

\- "Well, it's good, after all the adventures?"

\- “Yes, but I don’t understand why I sat there for half a day? Only in the end, Lexa told Costia to show me a couple of movements, I thought she would put me on the board. I   
don’t understand her." the blonde said uncertainly.

\- “Why don't you ask her about it?”

\- “I can't talk to her after all, as if nothing had happened.”

Anya looked thoughtfully at her,   
\- “I can understand you, Clarke, but someday you will have to talk to her. You could leave here, you could claim it, but you chose a different path. You stayed here."

\- "It's hard to explain." Clarke didn't tell the whole truth.

\- "It's up to you. If you want to know more, you have to ask her. I know you find it hard to believe, but Lexa is a not bad person.

\- “You're right, it's hard to believe.” the blonde continued to pick her food, not wanting to look at the dark-haired.

\- "Take the trays and come to work." and Anya went to the menagerie.

*****

The next day, Clarke sat again most of the workout and watched. This time, Sam joined her company. He settled comfortably at the blonde's feet, and snored contentedly while   
Clarke stroked him. Like last time, the last half hour, Costia, after the arena was empty, came up to her and they went all over again all movement. Clarke remembered them from the first time, so they finished quickly.

Clarke nevertheless decided that she would ask Lexa what it all meant. If brunette decided to engage her in the show, then why not preparing for this?  
The opportunity presented itself to her that day. After lunch, she went into the menagerie, and her heart froze for a second. Lexa and Indra were in one of the cells. Together with the tiger. The blonde didn't expect to see the brunette so soon and even more so not in the cage with the predator. An inexplicable anxiety swept over her.

\- “Indra, I don’t think there is anything serious with him. The lungs are free, the heart beats strongly and the lymph nodes are in order. I think this is a common infection. Let's wait until the end of the week, and then we'll see. Put him on a diet, just in case." with confident movements, Lexa felt the face of the animal after she hung a stethoscope on her neck. Clarke realized that she wasn't doing this for the first time and was surprised. Not only is Lexa completely without panic in the cage of a huge predator, she does it as if she does it every day. It was puzzling.

\- "I need to talk to you." blonde took a step toward the cage when Lexa and Indra stepped out of it, locking he securely behind them.  
Lexa couldn't hide her surprise.

\- "Good. Come on," Lexa went to the exit. Clarke follows her. - "I'm listening to." brunette said, being outside the menagerie.

\- "Why do you keep me aside, I thought you were going to put me on the board." a direct question was raised.

\- "That's right, I'm going." Lexa, with all her might, tried to look the blonde in the eyes, and not to glance over the blonde's body. She looked very seductive, in her blue T-shirt, tight-fitting magnificent breasts. Remembering painful memories flared up in the memory of this very chest. Short shorts exposed the slender and tanned legs from the constant work under the sun. Lexa often paid attention to how seductive Griffin looked, and more than once tried to tell her to dress modestly, but realized that she would look stupid. Clarke dressed, like many others in such a heat, simply, only she had such an effect on brunette. This was both embarrassing and annoying at the same time. Therefore, she was silent, restraining herself.

\- “So what are you waiting for?” insisted the blonde.

\- “Clarke, how many times have you seen our show? Two?" Clarke, not understanding where Lexa is leading, nodded. - “I know you don't trust me. But I want you to at least start trusting my skill. And for this, you should see how we achieve it. Difficult workouts and grueling repetitions. I know for sure that I will not miss, I wanted you to be convinced of this,” brunette answered in a serious voice.  
She didn't voice the second reason, so as not to risk it. Lexa suspected that Clarke would start snapping again. The idea of taking her to the show was impulsive, but later, after thinking about it, Lexa decided that it wasn't so bad. The obstinate blonde will not only be busy, but will be in front of her eyes for a good part of the day, which makes it possible to prevent another trick.

\- "If I knew that you were so anxious to get under the knives, I wouldn't wait,” a dark eyebrow arched in question.

\- "No no. It suits me, I just wanted to clarify." Clarke didn't expect such an answer. As if Lexa was taking care of her, which she couldn't imagine.

\- “Then I'll see you tomorrow in the arena,” before leaving, Lexa still couldn't resist and looked the blonde up and down with an appreciative look, keeping her green eyes on the blue ones, which seemed even brighter on her tanned face. This look didn't hide from Clarke, her body reacted, her nipples were hardened, and her lower abdomen tightened.

\- “Yes, tomorrow in the arena,” the blonde said quickly and disappeared into the menagerie. She needed to get away from this look before Lexa noticed how she was affecting on her. 

Clarke cursed her naughty body and magical gaze, which she involuntarily responded to.

Lexa stood still for a while, keeping her eyes on the blonde. An unambiguous reaction didn't hide from her. Hardened nipples were noticeably visible under the shirt. Lexa closed her eyes, shook her head, shaking off her obsession and moved on.

Friday morning training began as usual. Clarke was sitting at the arena, Sam was again sitting next to her, and was watching the artists. She remembered the words of Lexa and this time consciously watched her. The brunette was magnificent in everything that she did, the blonde reluctantly admitted to herself. There was not a drop of uncertainty in her movements. Whether on a horse, on swords or with knives. One glance was enough to understand who was the main in the arena. She was not equal there.  
The main training has come to an end. The horses were taken away, but this time Lexa was staying and sending everyone else.

\- “Clarke, your way out.” brunette called calmly.

Clarke flinched slightly. Taking a deep breath, she got up, finally patting Sam's and headed for the board. Her legs, like the first time, did not want to obey, her heart was beating at a frantic pace.

\- "Get up to the board, like last time, and try to relax. You saw, I don’t miss," tried to calm Lexa.

\- "Well, yes, knives are not flying at you." Clarke answered hoarsely, leaning her back against the board.

\- “Believe me, Clarke, I have also stood in your place more than once,” the tone changed slightly, which is why Clarke stared into green eyes. She remembered Anya's story about Lexa's difficult childhood.

While the blonde was thinking about it, the first knife landed close to waist on the right. Clarke screamed and closed her eyes. Following him, another was close to left shoulder. She screams again.

There was a loud sigh.  
\- “Clarke, that won’t work. Spectators must believe that it’s your joy to stand there. But if you continue to stand like that, with your eyes closed, squealing and trembling like an aspen leaf, they will think that you are being executed.

\- “I'm not squealing.” the blonde snapped displeasedly.

\- “Ok, but no matter how you call it, it’s not to smile in the light of the spotlights, which you will have to do tomorrow in the arena.”  
Clarke let out a long breath, 

\- “Let's do it again, I'll try.” blonde wanted to prove that she can.

\- "Ok, look at me," blue eyes rose to meet green, whose eyes were bewitching.   
\- “Now smile,” Lexa finished hoarsely. The blonde’s gaze also had a magical effect on her. At that moment, brunette wanted to drop the damn knives, come closer and touch her slightly trembling lips, which at that moment were stretched out in an unnatural smile.

The brunette threw a knife. This time, Clarke did not scream and a smile froze on her lips, but she was unable to leave her eyes open.

\- "It's better." Lexa pulled herself together, - “Let's continue.”  
Lexa threw knives at her for at least another 20 minutes. 

Clarke stopped screaming, and could even keep a tight smile on her face, but she could not cope with her eyes.

\- "t's enough for today." The brunette's voice seemed a little tired, - "Go take a rest. Come to me tonight after dinner. You need to try on a suit for tomorrow. I think Costia will find something suitable."

The nerves of the blonde were at the limit and she didn't answer anything else. She nodded in response and left the tent.

In the evening, Clarke had dinner with the other guys. After a conversation with Octavia, they began to get along with her again perfectly and the guys noticed that they also   
thawed in relation to the blonde. Although, Finn no longer made an attempt to flirt, which Raven was clearly glad of.  
After dinner, Clarke headed for the circus mistress's trailer. With every step, she became more and more nervous, not understanding from what more. Either from the surging   
memories of the ill-fated night, or from her involuntary reaction of the body to the brunette.

Knocking, this time she waited for an answer and entered. Lexa was somehow sitting on the floor next to Sam.

\- "Um ... I'm not on time?"

\- "No, everything is fine. Sam and I played. He cannot be on the bed, so I have to rage with him on the floor." still paying attention to the dog, the brunette answered with a smile.   
\- "That's it, prankster, your time is up." from the blonde did not hide, with what love brunette looked at the four-legged. She never looked at people like that.  
Lexa rose from the floor and reached for the piece of cloth lying on her bed.

\- "Here is an example."

\- "What, right here?" the blonde said cautiously, picking up the outstretched suit.

\- “Yes, I need to make sure that he suits you.” Lexa said calmly, moving away to a respectful distance and turned away.

Clarke stared suspiciously at first at the piece of cloth in her hands, and then at the brunette's straight back. Clarke encouraged herself and began to take off her clothes.

Lexa's back tensed as she heard the rustle of clothing being thrown off. The brunette turned to the dog sitting next to her, chatting all sorts of mercies to him, thus trying to   
distract herself from the thought that at this moment, behind her, was completely naked Clarke. The fact that she had to remove everything, the brunette did not doubt. She knew what costume Costia had prepared, and she did not allow to wear at least tiny underwear under him.

\- “Lexa, are you sure I should enter the arena in THIS?” the blonde asked uncertainly.

\- “I know this may be unusual for you. But this is how girls dress at performances." defended Lexa.

\- “But Costia wasn't dressed like that.” Clarke didn't give up. She almost wore a suit, if one could call it that. A piece of flesh-colored fabric, sewn like a swimsuit, hugged the figure very closely. On the chest, where a sewn strip of shiny green matter covered these parts of the body, the suit was narrow. Two pieces were supposed to cover intimate places. the blonde thought in horror. 

\- “Lexa, I can't stand before a crowd of people like that! My bikini is even more modest!" Clarke was indignant, - "I look like a whore!"

Lexa turned around and stood with her mouth open.

\- "Don’t have to stare, fuck!" the blonsw blushed from Lexa's gaze. She didn't like to stand in front of her half-naked.  
Brunette started up.

\- “You didn't button it.” brunette remarked.

\- “I don't reach the castle.” yanked shoulders said Clarke.

\- "May I help?" a quiet voice stopped the indignation of the blond.

\- “Well, do it ...” blonde mumbled stammered, - “But it won’t get any better, I assure you.”  
When the blonde turned with her back, Lexa with unsteady steps came closer.

\- “Clarke ... your hair ...” Lexa coughed, clearing her dry throat, - “put them aside.”  
Tanned fingers slowly threw back hair on one side. 

The brujnette came close. There was almost nothing on Clarke, and she acutely felt the body heat behind her. Lexa meanwhile ran her eyes over the refined figure.

The blond head was lowered forward and on side, loose wavy strands hid half face, graceful shoulders rose and fell to the beat of quickened breathing, hands pressed to the hips, tried to relieve trembling and elastic buttocks, which the immodest suit really did not hide, and shouted slam us. Lexa had to take a couple of deep inaudible breaths to reduce the surging heat in her whole body.

\- “You're staring again.” the blonde said in a broken voice. She literally felt the hot look of a brunette on her body. She herself became hot, her breathing quickened, her hands   
were slightly sweaty. the blonde ordered herself mentally. But this had little effect.

Holding her breath, Lexa very carefully took up the zipper, trying not to touch the delicate skin and pulled up. Buttoning to the end, she jumped back like a scalded one and   
clasped her fingers behind her back.

Clarke did not dare to turn.

\- "Clark", turn around." the blonde heard a quiet voice and slowly turned around, meeting her eyes with a piercing gaze. The air between them froze. The spacious trailer now   
seemed scanty, from the increasing tension. Lexa looked up from blue eyes and walked along perfect, as it seemed to her body. The costume is really not enough to hide. _suddenly it occurred to her. The very thought that someone else would stare at Clarke, just as she is now, , caused a storm of not the most benign emotions in the brunette. a feeling of ownership surprised her herself,but she did not want to get rid of it. This girl interested her, climbing her antics under her skin. The brunette has long abandoned the attempt not to think about her._

_\- “You are right; you will not enter the arena in this.” firmly said the mistress of the circus, - "Tomorrow you will have another costume. More covering."_

_\- “Well, for once you agree with me.” Clarke said in relief, - "Turn away, I want to put on my things."  
The blonde was not able to continue to stand in this form and maintain a look in which the attraction was clearly read. Lexa immediately turned away._

_\- "I'm ready." was heard after a short time. The brunette saw that Clarke was fully dressed and was heading for the door._

_\- "Tomorrow morning the dress rehearsal. They’ll bring you a new suit before that. Before the performance, we’ll go through everything exactly as it will be on the show.“ Lexa '  
controlled herself again._

_\- "I see you tomorrow." Clarke went out and headed towards her. she still didn't think in herself._

_Her excitation, Clarke was no longer afraid to admit to herself that it was it, once again led her into confusion. the blonde kept repeating herself all the way.  
Octavia was not in the trailer.   
Without waiting for her friend, Clarke decided to go to bed. _


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A translation of Я научу тебя любить by serafina_dieerste.  
> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> My English is not good so i hope you like and enjoy it

The next morning, Clarke woke up even earlier than usual. The sun was just coming into its own, rising above the peacefully sleeping inhabitants. Clarke felt an unusual excitement for her before the upcoming performance.  
Octavia was sleeping and didn't think to wake up. the blonde grunted, and, having washed herself with cold water, she went out into the street. The circus village was unusually calm and she wanted to wander in silence and calm her nerves.

Her legs themselves led her to the menagerie. There, as everywhere silence reigned, even for animals the time was still too early. Turning around, Clarke wandered to the stable. Before she had time to go, Sam rushed to meet her and began to poke his face in her hands as a sign of greeting, demanding his favorite stroking on head.

\- "Sam, howdy there!" Clarke was delighted to meet. She began to get used to the good-natured dog of Lexa. For a week of training, they are became not bad friends.

\- "What are you doing here, doggie?" Squatting in front of the dog, blonde patted his shaggy head.

\- “He is not alone,” came the voice of the hostess.  
Lexa exited the stall of the Night Hunter, leading him out.

\- “Oh, hello,” Clarke didn't expect to meet anyone, least of all her. - "Is it too early for a horse ride?"

\- “This is the only time I can do this. The rest of the day I'm not up to it."

Both spoke in a calm voice, trying not to break the fragile truce concluded by mute consent, to abandon attempts to provoke each other.

\- “Hm ... Well, then have a nice walk,” Clarke said, not knowing what to add.

\- "Do you want with us?" unexpectedly for both, Lexa suggested, internally taken aback by the impulsively erupted phrase, but now, to retreat was not in her rules.

\- "With you?" not quite understanding yet, asked Clarke.

\- “Well, Sam, Night Hunter and me. As you can see, there are three of us,” Clarke first time saw the slight semblance of a smile on the always so serious face of the circus mistress and could not hold back the embarrassed smile in return.

\- “Will Night Hunter not drop me this time?” with a half smile, but still seriously asked Clarke.

\- “With me not,” a confident answer sounded.

\- “I just can't miss the opportunity, mount on him again,” Clarke honestly admitted. - “He's so awesome.”

\- “Yes, he is,” Lexa's smile widened, revealing perfect teeth. She turned to the horse and proudly patted him on the neck. Then she led a favorite from the stable for the reins. - "Well,then let's go, we don’t have much time."

Clarke followed after her, still impressed by the green-eyed smile. Clarke admitted that Lexa was a very effective girl, but when she smiled at her with such an open smile, her heart fell somewhere below the waist. Lexa seemed to her at that moment the most beautiful girl she met. to her surprise, Clarke could not, as before, easily call her a bitch.  
Lexa quickly jumped into the saddle and held out her hand, freeing one stirrup. Not wanting to continue her thought, Clarke, glancing briefly into green eyes, grabbed her hand   
and, pushing herself off the ground, sat behind.

Blonde inhaled the cold air with pleasure, sitting on the strong back of the Night Hunter. At the first moment, she didn’t know where to put her hands put them on Lexa’s waist and felt that brunette noticeably tensed from a light touch. After some time, under the peaceful sway of the animal, Clarke felt that Lexa relaxed again. In addition to the hands on the waist and the inside of the hips, with which she touched the legs of Lexa, the blonde tried not to touch the sitting one in front. 

Proximity already acted on her more than she would have liked. Clarke distracted herself with the landscapes before her, trying not to pay attention to the pleasant warmth   
emanating from Lexa's body, and spreading her sweet languor throughout her body. With delight from complete freedom, Sam ran joyfully beside them, his running forward, than lagging behind, something interesting only to him, sniffing out on the dried ground. Climbing a small slope, Lexa stopped the horse.

\- "Well, we are there. Can you get down yourself?" Brunette turned in the saddle and was face to face with Clarke. Both froze. 

Under her arms, Clarke felt Lexa's body tighten again, and this passed on to her. Their proximity was now especially palpable.   
Clarke noticed how the gaze of emerald eyes fell on her mouth and she licked her lip on the machine. Lexa's pupils dilated at the sight of such a seductive gesture, and she herself ran her tongue over her lower lip. This triggered a response in Clarke's body. Involuntarily, she squeezed her hands around her waist, causing Lexa to suck in noisily.  
Suddenly Sam barked nearby, who didn't understand why they were not moving on. Girls instantly returned to reality. Clarke pulled her hands back from Lexa's waist.

\- “Yes, I can handle it myself,” said blonde and having thrown her leg, rather rolled down than jumped off the saddle. blond hair spread over her shoulders when she shook her head, shaking off uninvited feelings. moaned to herself a blonde.

Lexa, meanwhile, descended from the horse, stood and looked into the distance, trying to understand how she felt. The first moments on horseback, when Clarke was so close   
behind her, didn't allow her to breathe normally, but over time the body got used to warm touches, and she calmed down. But when the angelic face was so close to her own, a   
tension with new force swept over her. Lexa was not naive and noticed that Clarke also felt a spark flashing between them.

But feeling of guilt didn't leave Lexa. Her eyes filled with fear and pain and desperate cries did not let her forget what she had done. she   
reproached herself. It is necessary to leave it calmly to finalize here before again one of them breaks down and another incident occurs.

\- “Clarke, come here. Hence the best view," taking herself in hand, called Lexe. Clarke went to the very edge of the slope and opened her mouth in admiration. A huge valley   
opened before her, above which, on the horizon, the morning sun rose pink.

\- “Lexa ... It's ... Perfectly...” blonde muttered on one exhale. The sight was truly mesmerizing.

\- “Yes,” was a quiet reply.

For a long time they silently enjoyed the sunrise. Silence and pacification enveloped and calmed tense nerves.

When it was time to go back, Lexa turned and opened her mouth to call back, but froze from what she saw. Half a meter from Clarke's feet lay a black-brown Royal snake. One of the most aggressive and venomous snakes living in the southern territory of North America. Lexa knew for sure, one bite, and Clarke had no chance. They cannot reach the   
antidote on time. Hiding her horror, Lexa said as calmly as possible:

\- “Clarke, don’t move,” and slowly, step by step, she began to approach, keeping her eyes on the venomous snake.

\- "What? Why?" Clarke immediately noticed a change and abruptly turned her head to the side, following the green-eyed look. The striped reptile began to rise menacingly.

\- "Don't move!" a little louder, but still calmly ordered Lexa. Her heart was ready to break out, but she understood that she should not lose control of herself. Fortunately, Clarke   
obeyed and froze.

\- “Clarke, look at me,” Lexa said in hypnosis and pulled the dagger out of its sheath with a smooth motion.

\- "Lexa... Is she poisonous?" the blonde voice trembled with fear. The snake hissed dangerously, and its blue eyes opened wider.

\- “Clarke, look at me. She will not hurt you." Lexa was very close. - “Trust me,” she whispered.

\- “Ok,” Clarke whispered back, trying not to shake.

\- “Good,” the blue eyes did not have time to blink, as Lexa threw the dagger into the dangerous reptile with an invisible movement.

\- “Well, that’s it,” she breathed with relief.  
Clarke did not immediately realize that the danger was behind and continued, without blinking, to look at Lexa.

\- “Clarke, that's fine. She is dead" brunette, in turn, tried to bring Clarke to feeling. - "See for yourself."

Following Lexa's eyes, Clarke watched her bend down and pull the dagger from the snake, throwing it far to the side.

\- “Thank you ...” Clarke said in a dry voice. The knees shook unruly. - "Let's go from here."

Lexa followed Clarke to the horse and helped her climb.

\- “Griffin, do you have any special arrangements with troubles?” in an attempt to get the blonde out of shock, Lexa joked.

\- "Exclusive contract!" Clarke grinned back, recovering.

\- “Hold on tight, Griffin. We are late,” Lexa cried out, and, feeling the answer of hugging arms tightly around her waist, she moved her horse to a gallop, hoping to quickly weather the rest of the shock from the blonde.

They got to the stable much faster. But that was enough for Clarke to move away from recent events.

\- “We'll meet in the tent in an hour,” Lexa said, leading the stallion to the stall. - "Someone will give you the costume later, I found a suitable one yesterday. You can not change   
clothes yet. First dress rehearsal."

\- “Okay, then I went to wake Octavia.”

\- “Tell her you both don't need to work after lunch today. Let her help you pack. It is necessary to be painted especially strongly that the audience can saw you from the stands. I   
can send Costia to you, she will help.” Lexa carefully looked at the blonde, trying to understand how she was feeling.

\- "Don't. We can handle it." Clarke looked directly into the green eyes. - “And stop looking at me like that, I'm fine and will cope with my role in the performance,” she added   
irritably, noticing a worried look.

\- “I wasn't worried about the performance, Clarke,” Lexa retorted quietly.  
Clarke felt a little uneasy when she realized that she had blamed for nothing.

\- “Well, then we'll meet later,” blonde muttered and disappeared from sight.

Lexa was left standing with an unpleasant sensation. Something stabbed painfully in the chest from the rebuke. For all the time she never thought about the show, she was only   
worried about Clarke's condition. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A translation of Я научу тебя любить by serafina_dieerste.  
> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> My English is not good so i hope you like and enjoy it

\- “God, Griffin, this is the first and last time I doing it ...” cried Octavia, in a not quite intelligible voice, holding an eyeliner between her teeth, while putting bright shadows on her constantly twitching eyelids. Clarke tugged at the edge of her T-shirt and "sang" loudly and falsely, or rather, it was a random set of sounds.

\- "Lalaninadratrararamtataaaa ...."

\- "From your howls, my eye will soon begin to twitch."

\- "Sorry, Oh, it’s just that some kind of inner neurosis starts if someone paints my eyes."

\- "Be patient, we're almost done.”

The girls retired after dinner at in trailer, preparing Clarke for her first public appearance. She was already wearing a new suit, which was more modest than the previous one.   
Lincoln passed it along with Octavia. She met Clarke at the tent after a general training.  
On the last test, everything went according to plan. Clarke perfectly learned the movements and fit into the show, as if she had been doing this all her life. Except for one moment.   
She could not leave her eyes open. In training, Lexa acted as if nothing had happened in the morning.  
Assembled, confident circus mistress, serious about training. She, to Clarke's surprise, didn’t react at all to her closed blue eyes. At the end of the test, saying to everyone accompanied by the faithful Sam left the tent.  
Clarke was angry for not being able to control herself and not squint at every throw. She complained about this to her friend on the way to lunch.

\- "O, can you glue me with eyelids?"

\- "Yeah, and let's cut your mouth so that you smile all the time, you'll be a Joker ..... with boobs!"

\- "Shut up, Blake, I ask you for help!"

\- "No, you think! Batman would have no chance! With such boobs! Griffin, we can rewrite comic book classics!"

Both girls looked at each other and laughed out loud.

\- "What are you laughing at, girls, share." Bellamy sat with Finn and Ray at the table.

\- "About a new couple in the world of superheroes." Without going into details, she wave away her brother Octavia.

The girls brought themselves food and joined the others. Lunch was held in a friendly atmosphere until John Murphy appeared. He went up to them and brazenly sat down next to Clarke.

\- “I will sit in the front row today, PRINCESS. I will never miss such a show." Everything in this guy was disgusting to the blonde and she, trying not to pay attention to him,   
increased the distance between them.

\- “Murphy, you have nothing to do?”

\- "Why, here I am doing. I am setting myself up for the upcoming spectacle." the guy with a bawdy look, point blank, looked at blonde's full chest.

\- "Go to hell." could not stand Clarke. “Set yourself away from me, moron.” The blonde rose with the tray. - “Okti, I’m done. Are you with me?”

\- "Yes, let's go." Blake joined her friend, - "You're really a moron, Murphy." and both girls left the dining room.

Octavia with a pleased look walked away from her friend and, crossing her arms over her chest, complacently said, 

\- “I am a genius! You look stunning!"

\- “Octi, I think you went too far,” Clarke skeptically examined her face in a small mirror.

\- “This is just right, Griffin!” the dark-haired one again looked at the blonde. The new style robe suited the costumes of the rest of the show.

Black, very short suede shorts, successfully fitted elastic buttocks, a leather corset emphasized the already thin waist, obscenely lifting her beautiful chest in a bra completely   
covered with shiny stones. Black sandals on a tall stiletto heel made legs even more slender, and blond hair gathered in a high hairstyle did not hide the beauty of the neck and shoulders. Blue shadows and black eyeliner made the eyes more expressive. Shine was applied to the lips, as well as to the whole body.

\- “Look that Lexa doesn't jump on you again.” Blake clicked her tongue and shook her head.

\- "What ?!"

\- "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. You just look really fucking awesome!"

\- "Nevermind. Thanks, O, for helping." the blonde did not take offense at an unsuccessful joke.

\- “I think we should go.” Clarke also glanced at the clock and nodded to the exit.

\- "Octi, give me your hand, otherwise I will break my neck. These heels are unsuitable for roads with such a surface."

\- “So be it, Griffin, for your sake I will be a gentleman.” Octavia politely bent her arm at the elbow. The blonde clung to the saving hand and so they went to the tent.

\- "Are you nervous?"

\- “I thought you hear my teeth chattering.” joked Clarke. She did not want to show, but inside she was all, as if under tension.

\- “You can handle it.” Octavia squeezed Clarke's hand encouragingly.

\- "Yeah ..."

*****

Lexa led a white horse under the reins to the tent befor everyone. In a couple of minutes, their show should begin. Seeing a blond girl standing in front of the tent, her breath   
caught. Her eyes lingered on a seductively protruding ass and slender legs, transferring weight from one to the other and thereby giving out Clarke's nervous state.

\- “You can handle it, Clarke.” the blonde heard very close behind her and startled with surprise.

\- “You scared me.” She again jerked slightly when she turned and saw Lexa standing next to her, who was dressed like that miserable night. Especially the paint on the face   
brought her out of balance.

\- "I didn't mean to." the brunette said softly.

\- “Well, how can let me out into the arena like that?” Clarke stepped back.

\- "More than." after a short pause, during which green eyes ran through the blonde’s body with a hot look, Lexa squeezed out of herself. In fact, she wanted to wrap this beautiful creature into something big and take it away so that no one could stare at her.

\- “I believe in you, Clarke. Everything will go fine." Clarke did not expect such support from Lexa, but the words of the brunette and the confident look of emerald eyes almost   
reassured.

\- "I will try to."

The brunette cast a last look at biting lower lip and took off into the saddle. At that moment, Titus stepped out of the tent.

\- “Your way out, Lexa.” and quickly moved away to the side when the music sounded.  
The riders hid one after another in the tent, and Clarke began to follow the show, slightly moving the curtain back, waiting for her turn.

The show went on as usual. At the right moment, a couple of workers began to prepare a table with knives and a board. the blonde   
told to herself and fluttered out into the arena. Many rays of the spotlights blinded. Clarke felt hundreds of delighted eyes on herself and she was seized with heady delight. She   
didn't think it would be SO! A wide, sincere smile from ear to ear lit her face and the blonde began her performance. According to the plan, she moved and circled the arena   
approaching to the board. Lexa at that time played a role. At the same time they were in their positions. Clarke is at the blackboard, a brunette a couple of meters from her. There was silence. Everyone froze.

Swarthy hand prepared a throwing knife and at the last moment Lexa winked at the blonde playfully with one eye and threw the knife. Clarke was so dumbfounded by such   
frivolous action, at such a serious moment, that she didn't think to close her eyes. The second and third knife landed just as fast, and Clarke stood with wide eyes and a big smile.

Stormy applause brought her to senses. Just a couple of millimeters, the raised corner of the lips and the elusive nod of the head hinted at the approval of the brunette. Clarke,   
without taking her eyes, nodded in response. The blonde experienced the following throws with dignity, never once closing her eyes.  
At the end, Lexa went to the blonde and took her hand, presenting a bow to the audience. Having bowed, the hands parted, which Clarke regretted for a second. Warm fingers of Lexa, pleasantly warmed her icy.  
The show ended safely. The blonde disappeared, and behind her in turn and horse riders.

\- "Clarke! You were divine, baby!" The blonde was caught in the enthusiastic embrace of Blake Jr.

\- “Octi, you'll choke me.” Clarke freed herself with a smile.

\- "It was, something with something, Griffin!" the friend could not calm down, - "Admit, you already did something similar."

\- "No, honestly, O. But when I went there ... all these people, and the light ... it was..." 

\- "UAU ....” the girls said at the same time and laughed.

\- "I did say that everything will be fine." Lexa approached to them. - "I hope you will repeat tomorrow." full lips curved in a kind of smile, and green eyes eagerly looked at the blonde.

Clarke drowned in this look, completely forgetting that Octavia was standing nearby and was watching with interest.

\- “I'm sure our princess won't let you down tomorrow either.” the girl decided to save her friend, hugged her shoulders and shook a little.

\- "Yes .. yes. It will be easier now ... I think." Clarke finally looked away and looked at Blake.

\- "Then, tomorrow everything is as it is today." The brunette turned and walked away quickly.

\- "Griffin, what was that?" cautiously began Octavia.

\- "What exactly?"

\- “Don't pretend you don't understand! About you and Lexa, what's between you?"

\- “Are you nuts, Blake?” Clarke quickened her pace. The direction that their conversation took didn't like her at all.

\- "Yes, you ate each other's with eyes!" the dark-haired woman almost ran nearby, - "And don't say what I'm making up, don't need be a blind person to notice."

\- "O, I'm serious. Don't start. There is nothing between us and never will be!" the blonde stopped abruptly and stared at the girl angrily.

\- "But, Clark ..."

\- "No O! Closed this topic!"

Blue-eyed did not blink staring at her friend.

\- "Ok, ok. I'm sorry." Octavia surrendered, raising her hands.

\- "That's good." Clarke breathed and again went towards the trailer.

When they came to trailer, Clarke went to wash, which took quite a while. After both girls were in the shower and lay down, each in her own bed, Octavia asked.

\- “Clarke, do you think you could ever forgive her?” the dark-haired pulled the blanket over her eyes, waiting for a new angry wave of emotions.   
But she did not follow. The blonde continued silently, lying on her back, and looking at the ceiling.

There was a heavy sigh,   
\- "I don't know, O. What for?" thoughtfully said Clarke.

\- “Well, at least to make life easier for herself. They say insult and hatred, eaten from the inside." philosophical noticed O.

\- "It seems to me to forgive this, you need to love."

\- "And you don't love. I understand ..... well, maybe someday ..."

\- "Octi!!!"

\- "I am silent, I am silent!"

\- “Let's sleep, O. I’m tired more than when I worked all day.”

\- “Good night, Clarke.”

*****

The next day the show went off with a bang. Clarke felt much more confident and already boldly looked at Lexa when she threw knives. Fortunately or unfortunately, here she could not, and did not want to decide, Lexa did not wink at her anymore and behaved rather coolly. Her attitude toward Clarke was, like all others.  
Octavia also left a dangerous topic and the days went by calmly. Clarke was glad that no one with they views and words tried to shake her peace of mind.

On Tuesday evening, it suddenly began to rain, mercilessly turning into a real downpour. In the middle of the week, Clarke did not participate in the performance, since Lexa wasn't there either.  
The next day, Clarke discovered that the dry land had turned into mud, in which many trailers were bogged down. All hands free were busy moving trailers to drier places. The   
deepest mud pits, the workers on the bulldozer tried to fill up with sand and gravel. There was little time, everything had to be ready in the evening, so that guests could not be   
afraid to move on the ground.

Clarke went to the menagerie and noticed Lexa squatting in front of Sam, saying something to him, and she also noticed a huge bulldozer with a pile of sand in its bucket. A   
powerful car was approaching in directly to a brunette who was used to the noise of the car and didn't pay attention to him, and the worker at the wheel could not see her.

\- "Lexa! Lexa-a!" Clarke cried, as loudly as possible, but the noise of the bulldozer cut off all the screams and the brunette remained seated.  
Panic seized her, and without thinking for a second, she rushed forward.

Lexa noticed the movement out of the corner of her eye and turned her head. Seeing the blonde running to her, eyes wide with fear, she quickly got up.

\- “Clarke, what ...” but didn’t have time to finish, the blonde rushed at her, knocking her down, and together they fell into the liquid mud. The bulldozer drove by, not noticing what could happen.

\- "Cla-arke!" Lexa said, when she was able to breathe again. - "Seriously? Again?!"

The blonde successfully landed on top of Lexa, her nose buried in her neck. Clarke barely restrained herself so as not to rub against soft skin when she heard a formidable tone and remembered the incident at the stable. For some reason it's has become horribly funny.  
Lexa felt her soft body begin to twitch slightly on her. She thought the blonde was crying, but then she heard growing laughter.

\- "Griffin, are you kidding? You specifically test my patience." Lexa began to get angry.

\- “Give me due, Lexa.” through a laugh, the blonde tried to speak, - "This time I was in solidarity and fell with you.

\- “Damn it, Clarke! What's wrong with you?!" Lexa abruptly threw her off herself, which she, too, was head over heels in the mud and burst into laughter even more.

\- "Well, now we are both dirty! Well, at least not in manure."

\- "Lexa, Clark! Are you okay?" Lincoln arrived to them.

\- “Better nowhere.” Lexa with an unkind look on her own feet.  
Lincoln gave a hand to a laughing blonde and helped rise.

\- "Clarke, well done. Good reaction."

\- "Link, what are you doing? Do you also praise her for this ?!" the brunette was perplexed.

\- “Lexa, she just saved your life.” the guy turned his eyes to the mistress of the circus and then again to Clarke and could not help smiling at their sight. - "Well, got a little bit dirty not big deal."

\- "I don’t understand what which life?"

\- “You were busy with Sam and you didn't notice the bulldozer. He was moving straight at you, I wouldn’t have time to you, and Clarke was closer and rushed to you and removed you from his path, albeit a little rude." Lincoln winked at the blonde.

\- "I heard him, but I'm not ..... I" brunette, with an inquiring look, stared at Clarke, who was no longer laughing.   
\- "Thank." Gratitude sounded sincere. Lexa already regretted having attacked Clarke without asking anything.

\- “Now we are even,” the blonde said with a smile, - “and you will forgive me this time for spoiled clothes.”

\- “Yes, of course, I never thought of it.”

\- “I don’t believe it, you thought for sure.”  
To this, Lexa embarrassingly lifted both corners of her lips, she really thought about it at the first moment.

\- “Well, just if it goes on like this, I have to go buy new clothes for riding.”

\- "If you promise, it is better to look around, I promise not to throw you in the dirt anymore."

\- "Agreed."

Clarke again felt the growing tension between them from the fact that they were not stop looking, looking into each other's eyes. A bunch of small goosebumps actively spread   
throughout the body.

\- "I went to wash the traces of my exploits." Clarke hastily said, made a sharp turn on her heels and disappeared.

Lexa again remained standing and looking thoughtfully following the blonde.   
The brunette also went to her trailer to quickly wash off the dirt. Lexa was completely confused and didn't know what to think.

*****

On Friday, after the show, Clarke returned alone to the trailer. Octavia stayed with Lincoln, volunteering to help him with the horses. He naturally agreed with pleasure.

\- “Don’t wait for me, Clarke. I will definitely be late," Octavia whispered conspiratorially.

\- “I don’t even want to listen, Blake!” the blonde began to brush aside her friend’s hints and went to change her clothes.

Suddenly, behind one of the numerous wagons, where the light didn’t get enough, someone roughly gritted her mouth and pressed it against the solid body with force.

\- "Well hello bitch ..."


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....
> 
> Attention i'm only translate this fic, there will be a moment where Warning LEXA RAPES CLARKE so if you don't like thinks like this don't read

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A translation of Я научу тебя любить by serafina_dieerste.  
> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> My English is not good so i hope you like and enjoy it

Was Clarke's first thought.

\- "Mm mm ..." with both hands she tried to free her mouth. When she didn’t succeed, she tried to tear her hand from her waist. But the grip only intensified.

\- “Come on, princess, you said get in line,” Murphy said in a nasty voice in his ear and ran a drooling tongue over it. Because of this, vomiting cramps began to rise in Clarke's   
stomach.- "Collins seems lagged from you, so he got what he want. They say that the mistress also got you. So, now I think it’s my turn" the hand on the waist slid lower and   
pressed hard on the crotch.

Clarke froze in fear And she began to break out violently, clinging with her hands to everything that comes across. She   
managed to grab Murphy by the hair and she pulled with all her strength. In pain, Murphy loosened his grip, which Clarke immediately took advantage of and turned out of his hands. Standing towards him and panting, she stared at him with a fierce look.

\- "Fuck you, Murphy!" Clarke struggled to hide her panic state.

Murphy's lips curved in an abominable smile. Clarke cursed high-heeled sandals, on which, she was sure, she would not run far, but she didn’t care _And she took a step to the side, but she didn’t have time to do it again. Murphy made a jerk and, like a bull, head forward, rushed at her, striking hard in the stomach and knocking her to the ground._

_Clarke was under a heavy body in a silent scream, tearing her mouth away. From the shock, the entrails contracted convulsively, and she did not have enough air. She heard  
breathless breath above herself. The smell of old sweat struck her nose, again causing a gag spasm. Murphy took advantage of the helplessness of the blonde and, lifting her both arms above her head, settled between her legs, pressing his cock to the crotch._

_Feels cock between the legs made Clarke wake up and resist again, wriggling like a snake, tearing her hands out of his grip._

_\- "Let me go, beast!" she tried to scream, but from the blow and lack of oxygen, the scream turned into a hoarse rattle of a voice. Unbridled fear betrayed her strength and managed to wrest one arm, and she clutched his hated face with her nails.  
Murphy howled in pain._

_\- "Shut up, mad bitch!" He slapped a fierce slap in the face._

_The blow stunned, tears flowed from her eyes. While Clarke lay in a fainting state, he again threw both hands of the blonde behind her head and squeezed stronger. He squeezed her bare chest with his other hand._

_\- “I knew you had amazing boobs, Griffin,” Murphy said lasciviously, pawing delicate skin with ragged movements.  
Recovering from a slap in the face, Clarke again began to break out of his dead grip. Pictures of past violence came to mind. Tears flowed from eyes widened in horror. The body was shaking._

_\- “No, John, no! Let me go!" she cried, crying._

_\- "I said shut up!" and another blow silenced her and softened for a short time.  
During this time, Murphy unfastened her narrow shorts and put his hand under them._

_\- “Damn, you're not as wet as I expected, Princess. But this will not prevent me," sticking his hand out of the shorts and clenching throat's throat, he said in a nasty voice to her  
very face and began to rub his penis between her legs apart._

_Clarke began to break out even more violently. She no longer knew what she was doing. The screams, asking for outward, escaped from the constricted throat only with downed  
rales. Everything in head is mixed up, past and present. Hysterical sobs shook the body._

_Suddenly, the weight from the body disappeared._

_\- “Lock him in the paddling pool and wait for me,” somewhere between the cries, Clarke heard a familiar voice. Lexa sat down beside her, and as far as her condition allowed, she spoke in a calm voice._

_\- “Clarke, this is Lexa. Everything is good,” she put her hands on blonde bare shoulders, trying to convey to her that the rapist was gone. But Clarke fell out of reality, and the voice of Lexa, reminiscent of the experienced horror, only exacerbated the situation. She raised herself on her elbows and backed away._

_\- "No! Dont touch me!"_

_The distraught look even more frightened Lexa already frightened. Clarke's eyes looked at her, but didn't see, terrible fear was reflected in them. Lexa didn't want to do this, but  
she didn’t see another way how to bring the blonde into herself. In one motion, she was near the blonde and, clasping her hands, pressed her to herself._

_\- “Clarke, listen to me. I won’t hurt you,” Lexa said quickly. - “It's all gone, it's gone, and I won't hurt you either. Clarke ..."_

_Clarke, feeling herself restrained again, began to fend off strong hands._

_\- "You! Don't touch me, don't touch, don't touch ..." Lexa, without unclenching her hands, held tight and endured the beatings steadily. ___

__\- “Clarke, honey, calm down. I won’t hurt you, I won’t, do you hear? Calm down, no one else will touch you, ” brunette repeated again and again._ _

__Finally, she felt that the blows became weaker and less frequent. The body in hands went limp. The screams ceased. Clarke froze for a moment and then wept bitterly, clutching her trembling body closer to Lexa. Heart ached with pain, and tears came to eyes. brunette was also ready to burst into tears of despair and guilt, but instead, with one hand she hugged the weeping Clarke, and the other began to gently stroke her tangled blonde hair._ _

__\- “Everything is fine, dear, now everything is fine,” brunette say in blond top, swaying from side to side, not knowing who she reassured by this, herself or Clarke._ _

__Lexa didn't know how long they sat on the ground. But when the tears dried up, and Clarke frantically blew out the air, clinging to her chest, she dared to speak._ _

__\- “Clarke, let's get out of here,” Lexa said quietly, never ceasing to pat her head. Clarke pulled away, raised her tear-stained eyes, and barely audibly said._ _

__\- “I don't want to see anyone.”_ _

__\- “I understand, come to me, nobody will bother you there.” Lexa looked into these beautiful blue eyes, and at that moment she wanted nothing more than to protect this girl from the whole world and take away all her pain and fear, in which she herself was the cause._ _

__Clarke nodded, agreeing to the offer. Lexa helped Clarke get up. Her knees bent from impotence, but she was caught in time with strong hands._ _

__\- “Clarke, hold on, I'll take you.” blonde obediently wrapped her arms around Lexa and felt safe._ _

__Going to her trailer, Lexa lowered Clarke and, opening the door, helped her up inside._ _

__\- “Come on, you take a shower, and I'll make you some tea,” Lexa suggested.  
Clarke stood in the middle of the trailer with her head bowed and hugged herself with her arms._ _

__\- “I have nothing to wear,” blonde answered the obvious thing._ _

__\- “I'll give you something.”_ _

__\- "Thanks."_ _

__She quickly pulled out of the closet a spacious T-shirt and long pajama pants she handed them to the girl._ _

__\- “A towel and everything you need for a shower, you'll find there,” Lexa walked past and opened the shower door._ _

__Clarke, clutching her belongings, went into a rather spacious shower room. The door behind her closed quietly. She quickly threw off dirty things and stood under the hot stream. Every time she closed her eyes, Murphy's disgusting face stood before her eyes._ _

__Clarke understood that if Lexa didn’t come in time, Whatever Lexa did to her in the past, this time she saved her._ _

__Lexa, making tea, thought about how best to behave. She understood that she herself had acted no better than Murphy , any words of  
comfort on her part would seem ridiculous. She decided to give Clarke space and a sense of security. This is the best thing she could do in this situation.  
She heard Clarke come out of the shower and looked in her direction. In a wide white T-shirt and slightly long blue pants, without paint and a daring twinkle in her eyes, she   
looked so cute and very young. Lexa restrained the urge to come up and push her to herself as tightly as possible._ _

__\- "Sit down, have some tea."_ _

__Clarka sat on the edge of the bed and drank a sip of hot tea._ _

__\- "Tasty."_ _

__\- "This is green tea with jasmine and honey."_ _

__The rest of the tea was drunk in silence._ _

__\- “You need to sleep, Clarke. You're safe here,” Lexa said timidly._ _

__She hoped that Clarke would not think about what had happened here. To her relief, blonde gave the cup back and climbed under the covers with her feet._ _

__\- "Lexa?" a faint voice was heard._ _

__\- "Mm?"_ _

__\- "Thank you."_ _

__\- "Everything is fine, rest. I'll be here, if something.” Lexa turned to the kitchen niche and, pretending to be busy cleaning, left Clarke to fall asleep._ _

__After a couple of minutes, Lexa looked around. By the even movement of blonde chest, she realized that Clarke was asleep. After waiting for some more time, to make sure that  
blonde wouldn’t wake up at the moment, brunette took out a whip from the closet and, casting another look at the bed, left the trailer._ _

__They called the paddling pool an old ragged carriage, which was located on the very edge of the settlement, where there were working vehicles, cranes and bulldozers. On the  
outer walls were painted funny green frogs, which is probably why they called him the paddling pool. Its use was not at all fun. It was a kind of , where the guilty or simply raging were locked._ _

__With each step, a sizzling rage filled Lexa's mind. Being near Clarke, she suppressed this feeling, but now it was bursting out with increasing speed. The nodules on her face were shaking. A hand gripped the lash handle painfully._ _

__\- “Stay outside,” she threw to Gustus, who was waiting for her, and entered the trailer._ _

__\- “Did I warn you to stay away from her?” Lexa said ominously, standing in front of a guy who was huddled in a corner._ _

__The car door closed and the first heart-rending scream was heard.  
Gustus remained standing, not paying attention to what was happening inside. The screams ceased over time, and Lexa came out panting. Small drops of sweat gathered around her temples and around her neck._ _

__\- “Make sure he is not here tomorrow,” Gustus nodded in understanding, and Lexa walked away quickly._ _

__

__*****_ _

__The early rays of the rising sun dimly lit a large bed by the window. Two lonely figures lay facing each other in mirror image. Lexa woke up long ago and watched with affection for the sweetly sleeping Clarke.  
Having returned after she had figured out with Murphy, Lexa went to the shower as quietly as possible, having washed off the dust, sweat and drops of blood, dressed in her   
pajamas and carefully, in order not to wake the blonde, lay down at arm's length, since the bed was enough big._ _

__She had a strong desire to squeeze a fragile body, as close as possible and not let go, but she did not dare after everything that happened. left, kiss, as light as a feather on the forehead of a blonde, and fell asleep under the steady breath of Clarke._ _

__Now rays of light played in blond hair, making them golden. Undecided to move, Lexa, as before going to bed, was burning with a desire to reduce the distance between them to zero, but she remained motionless. She liked just being around._ _

__Well, fluffy eyelashes fluttered and she looked into sleepy blue eyes._ _

__\- “Hey ...” Lexa said in a whisper._ _

__\- “Hey ...” she heard a whisper in response._ _


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....
> 
> Attention i'm only translate this fic, there will be a moment where Warning LEXA RAPES CLARKE so if you don't like thinks like this don't read

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> My English is not good so i hope you like and enjoy it

\- "How do you feel?"

\- "Better." A short pause. 

\- "Can you exclude at least clauses on violence from your exclusive contract?” a warm smile slid across brunette full lips.

\- "I'll see what i can do." the blonde smiled back.

Both girls continued to speak in a whisper, as if afraid to break the cozy silence surrounding them.

\- "Want to ride with us again?" Lexa asked the question a little uncertainly, not knowing how Clarke would react, but she wanted to somehow please her.

\- "With pleasure." blue eyes lit up.

\- "How would you like? On the Night Hunter with me or herself on a horse?" the brunette wanted to leave the right to choose for Clarke, how close she was ready to let her in.

\- “I can do it alone?” the blonde caught fire with this news.

\- “Of course, if you wish. I am make for you our calmest gelding. You can easily manage it."

\- "Then, I would like to take advantage of this." a wide smile, Clarke, prompted Lexa that the blonde came to her senses and became the former provocative girl. Mentally, she   
patted her shoulder.

\- "Well then rise." neatly, not hitting the blonde, Lexa got out of bed. - “You can go to your carriage and change into something comfortable. You’ll be ready, come to the stables, while I make the horses."

\- "Damn, Octavia!" the blonde suddenly remembered about her friend, who, having probably returned and not having found Griffin, was going crazy with anxiety.

\- "Don't worry. I am sure she herself is not in her bed." with a knowing smile, she hastened to calm the blonde.

Clarke raised her eyebrows in bewilderment, then frowned and finally realized what the brunette was talking about.

\- "Oh ... ohh ... She and Lincoln ..?" both thought of the same thing and embarrassedly lowered their eyes.

\- “Then I have to get ready.” Clarke threw back the blanket and stretched heartily. The brunette's gaze revealed a bare patch of skin on her stomach. She felt hot, although the   
trailer was pretty cold. She quickly looked away until Clarke noticed desire in her eyes.

\- “Um ... can you lend me some pants so I can get to my place?” Clarke asked perplexedly, getting out of bed.

Lexa handed her one of her sweatpants and a sweatshirt.

\- “Put it on, it's still cold outside.”

\- "Thanks." a little blushing, said the blonde. She felt herself not quite at ease, for the second time climbing into someone else's clothes. True, she really liked the smell of Lexa. It was a pleasant mixture of shower gel, perfume, horses and her personal body odor, which every person has. Falling asleep last night, she buried her nose in the pillow, which was saturated with the smell of a brunette and that made her feel calmer. Like when Brunette carried her in arms.

\- “It's all right, Clarke. Change your clothes." Lexa politely turned away, giving to Clarke at least a little privacy.

Clarke quickly threw off her pajama pants and put on sportswear, and put on a sweatshirt over a T-shirt. Then she folded the worn pants on the bed and grabbed her clothes, in   
which she performed yesterday.

\- “Kh ... damn it, I feel like a beggar, but you have to give me something on my feet. In my heels I won’t go now." Clarke muttered in embarrassment, looking at her sandals.

\- "Yes, the view would have been funny." Lexa grunted, taking out the slates.   
\- “Don't be so embarrassed, Clarke. Everything is really normal. Go get ready. We don’t have much time."

When Clarke was ready to leave, she lingered at the door.

\- "Lexa ... what about Murphy?" she asked hesitantly.

\- “You won’t see him again.” the brunette answered in a firm voice and with a formidable spark in her eyes. Reminders of this bastard aroused yesterday's anger.

Clarke looked at Lexa and nodded gratefully, covering her eyes.

\- "I quickly." The door closed behind Clarke.

*****

In the trailer, she found that the young Blake, was really not there yet and that her bed looked untouched. Clarke thought   
cheerfully. To her own surprise, she quickly moved away from yesterday's incident. For a month and a half in the circus, Clarke changed. Has become stronger. She had long realized that wimps could not survive in this place.

Other than that, Clarke did not expect to feel so safe next to Lexa. No, she didn't forget what she did to her, but each time she noticed that Lexa was really sorry and that guilt did not leave her. On the one hand, Clarke was even sorry for her. It seemed to her that if she would forgive Lexa, then Lexa would not be able to forgive herself.

After all, if a person has committed something really terrible and regrets it, then forgiving yourself is much more difficult than to earn forgiveness. And for a person with such a   
steel character as Lexa, it will be doubly more difficult. She will blame herself for her weakness, for the loss of control over herself and her emotions. Clarke hoped that this would not make Lexa even more closed from all of humanity than she is now.

Clarke talked to herself, putting on comfortable jeans. She left the Lexa sweatshirt on herself, in the hope that brunette would not mind. For some reason, Clarke did not want to part with sweatshirt and deprive herself of the sweet smell.

*****

At the stables, Lexa was already waiting for Clarke. On the reins are two horses.

\- “Clarke, this is Tango.” Lexa tried to hide a joyful smile when she spotted her sky blue sweatshirt on blonde.

\- "Tango?" the corner of Clarke's lips rose.

\- "I didn’t call him that, but I think this is because he terribly loves dance music." Lexa gently stroked the gelding on the head.  
\- "He is very calm and obedient. It will be easy for you with him."

Clarke went to the horse and let herself sniff by substituting both hands. After a short acquaintance, Lexa framed her hands with a lock.

\- "Come on jump." Didn’t have to ask twice, and with Lexa help, Clarke sat astride. Tango was not so tall and stood peacefully, waiting for the rider's command.

\- "And now a short instruction on horseback riding." Lexa said gravely, sitting on her stallion next to blonde.

\- “Well, if only a very short one.” Clarke answered impatiently. She wanted to go on the road.

\- "Try to pull the bridle as little as possible. Many don't understand, but it is unpleasant and painful for horses. Control him over your body. To go straight, lean forward and lightly push your heels under the croup. To turn, just turn the case in the necessary direction and he will follow. If you want to stop, lean back and squeeze your hips harder. Horses are very susceptible to body language, they don't need to be pulled."

As soon as the conversation was about animals, Clarke noticed with what concern Lexa spoke about them.

\- "I will try to." Clarke said sincerely. She seriously wanted to learn how to ride correctly.

\- "Well, then touched."

Clarke, as per the instructions, leaned forward and pressed harder with her heels and Tango obediently took a measured step, Lexa was attached next to her.

\- “Are you like this with all the animals?” began the conversation blonde.

\- "How that?"

\- "With love? Tenderness?" Clarke looked at Lexa. The brunette sat with a straight back and looked strictly in front of her.

\- "Tenderness? Yes. Respect? Yes. Care? Yes. But love? .... No. I don't know how to love, Clarke. Love is a weakness, and I can't be weak." Lexa's voice was dry. There was no doubt in her words.

\- “You mean you don't love Sam or the Night Hunter?” asked Clarke. She could not imagine that Lexa really is not able to feel love.

\- “I adore them.” This time, Lexa smiled broadly. She could not restrain herself when it came to her favorites. - "They are special .... They will not hurt and don't betray." she added and looked at Sam, who had been running nearby all this time. And although Lexa wanted to sound brave, Clarke noticed a bit of pain in her voice, from which the blonde's heart pinched.

\- “Hm ... doesn't one require the other?”

\- "Not necessary. But you don't compare me with those whom you know. I grew up in a not-so-standard family." the brunette avoided a direct answer.  
Griffin noticed and didn't push further. She knew about the past, this was enough for now.

\- “How do you know so much about them? About animals."

The brunette grunted.

\- "What, didn’t Anya have time to tell you this yet?"

The blonde raised her eyebrows in a mock question.

\- “I know that Anya told you something about me. She can't hide something from me. Conscience does not allow. But I'm not angry, so relax."

Clarke felt exposed, although she had done nothing.

\- "So, what did Anya not have time to tell?" blonde decided to continue, since Lexa reacted so calmly to this.

\- “I'm almost vet, Clarke. I have one last semester and a thesis." Lexa revealed her secret.

\- “What do you want to do then?” Clarke was surprised at her courage, with which she asked the circus mistress about her personal life.

Lexa also arched a slightly surprised eyebrow, but still answered.

\- "After the sale of the circus, I would like to buy a farm where i can keep and breed horses. Lincoln, Anya, Gustus and a couple of workers want to join. So far, these are only plans and nothing has been decided for sure."

\- "Serious plans, however."

\- "Yes, and therefore it is necessary to think through everything well before realizing them."

\- "Yeah ..."

Then they rode in silence not embarrassing them and enjoyed the morning fresh air and waking nature. Until Clarke noticed that the Night Hunter had become restless and was   
always striving forward.

\- “Lexa, I think Night Hunter got bored with us.”

\- “You're right, he’s not used to walking so long.” Lexa said apologizing.

\- “So give him free rein. I think I can handle it for a while alone. There’s nowhere to run away, so he'll tired, you’ll come back. I will not go far."

\- “Good, but I'll leave you Sam.” Lexa did not really want to leave the blonde alone, but the horse really had to be aired.

\- "We will be in sight."

\- "Okay. Come on, go ahead." Clarke smiled encouragingly.

\- "Sam!" the dog carefully stared at the mistress. - "Stay with Clarke." Lexa ordered and, knocking the horse on the sides, dashed off into the distance. 

Clarke was amazed at how smart Sam was when he looked at the mistress, staying next to the gelding, who, paying no attention to anyone, calmly stepped on.

Lexa galloped his horse, surrendering to the speed and power of the animal, leaning close to his neck. She did not go very far, she just brought out huge eights, allowing the   
stallion to release fervor.

At that time, Clarke took her breath away while she watched the brunette and her horse. The black horse, in spite of his power and size, delighted with every move, and his rider   
seemed to merge with him into a single whole. In the rays of the rising sun, it was impossible to take their eyes off them.

About fifteen minutes later, Lexa returned. She looked freshened up with a slight blush on her cheeks and burning eyes.

\- "That was awesome." in one breath Clarke blurted out.

\- "Yes, Night Hunter is handsome." proudly confirmed Lexa.  
\- “You're beautiful too ...” Clarke stumbled in mid-sentence, realizing that she had just blurted out. - “You, too, beautiful keep a good ride.” blonde quickly corrected herself and blushed.

\- "Thanks." Lexa pretended not to notice anything. - “We have to go back.”

\- "Okay."

The way back was without words and incidents. At the stable, Clarke dismounted got down and led the gelding inside.

\- “Clarke, do you want to participate in today's show, or does Costia replace you today?” before they disperse, Lexa asked.

\- “No, I want everything to be as usual.”

\- “Fine, then we'll meet in the evening in front of the tent.” Lexa nodded approvingly. She respected Griffin for her willpower.

\- "Well then, I went. I think Anya needs my help."

\- "Go eat first." Lexa reminded carefully. Clarke nodded and headed for the dining room.

In the dining room, blonde saw the usual picture. Both Blakes jokingly beated each other, Finn and Ray sat opposite them and laughed at them. Finn was the first who spot Clarke.

\- "Hi princess. Hungry at last?" he asked amiably. The rest also turned their attention to the blonde.

\- "Well, there is little."

\- “Where have you been, Griffin?” Octavia asked with mock severity.

\- “Where have you been?” the blonde did not remain in debt. From which a friend cough herself.

\- "Well, yes, yes. I forgot. You mentioned that you wanted to help at the stable." the dark-haired woman said coughing.

\- "That's it." the blonde winked conspiratorially.

\- "You spend a lot of time at the stable." Senior Blake said squinting suspiciously.

\- "Leave me alone, Bell. Are you jealous?" the girl dismissed her brother.

\- “No, it's just weird.”

\- "Nothing weird. Whene they ask, there we help. We don’t ask why you always run after Gustus?"

\- "OK OK. I just asked. Do what you want." the guy surrendered.

\- "That's it. Come on, Griffin. Feed you." a friend dragged the blonde for distribution.

\- “O, I already realized that Bell doesn't know anything, so stop dragging me like that.” Clarke was indignant at the onslaught of her friend.

\- “And he should not know, otherwise he will decide to play his elder brother and ruin everything for me.”

\- "I understood, I will be silent, like a grave." the blonde grinned.

\- “So where have you been?”

\- "Um ... with Lexa." Clarke answered embarrassedly. Blake's eyebrows rose to the very root of the hair.

\- "So, tell me." She pulled her friend again.

\- "O, come on later today. You will help me get ready for the show, and I'll tell you everything."

\- "Do you have something to tell?" Octavia playfully raised her eyebrows.

\- “Yes there is, but that is not what you think.” Clarke denied the dark-haired thought. Clarke knew which way she was thinking.

\- "Deal."

Blake Jr. gave her friend a calm breakfast and the guys went to their destinations. Anya warmly welcomed Clarke in the menagerie, and by the way she looked at her, the blonde   
suspected that Anya had already know about the night incident. The blonde grumbled.  
The rest of the day went on. Griffin worked with Anya and after dinner she remained with Octavia in the trailer.

*****

\- "That's the bastard ... cattle ... creature!"  
Octavia has been around for five minutes now, after Clarke told her everything, angrily walked around the trailer and showered Murphy with all the curses she knew.

\- "I ..."

\- "Relax, O. Lexa has already dealt with him."

\- “How did Lexa know where you are?” suddenly asked the dark-haired woman.

\- "I don't know. I didn't ask, and she didn't said." the blonde shrugged. - "Probably accidentally ended up at the right time and in the right place."

\- “Don't you think that too many accidents connect you with Lexa?” Blake left her walks and stood in front of her friend with arms crossed.

\- "Don't start, O."

\- "Don’t start. O, whaat. I mean it. Link told me how you saved her." the dark-haired woman was not going to retreat. - “Admit that you care about her, Clarke.”

\- "Fuck, O!" Clarke felt cornered. She tried to suppress the obvious all the time, but now, when her friend aloud voiced what the blonde didn't dare to admit to herself, she didn't   
have the strength to resist.

\- “Clarke, you have nothing to be ashamed of.” Octavia said softly. She noticed a confusion in blonde's eyes.

\- “But that's not normal. Who am I after this?" the blonde head sagged down at her hands folded on the table.

\- "Person?" Octavia sat beside her and comfortingly stroked her friend through her wet hair after a shower. - “You cannot command your heart, Princess.”

\- "Octy, can you hear yourself? Which heart? What are you talking about? Where should this lead?" The blonde raised her head and looked in Octavia dark eyes with a perplexed look.

\- "What are you talking about?"

\- "Everything is about the same." Clarke got up and began to wind small circles around the trailer.   
\- "If I admit that I like her, that every time I see her, my heart skips a beat, and when she touches me, goosebumps spread through my body at the speed of light and I want her to never let me go, what I will have from this?!" with every word, the blonde cheated herself more and more, and Blake was silent, giving Clarke finally a say.

\- "She is the mistress of the circus, I'm a juvenile delinquent. She is soon finishing her studies and going to move to some ranch, and two months later I will go to university. And most importantly, without reciprocity, nothing shines there anyway."

\- "Why do you think that your feelings are not mutual. I saw how she looks at you."

\- “Well, maybe she wants me, but I don't want only sex.” Clarke finished lowering her voice.

\- “But maybe she, too ..” Octavia began, but was immediately interrupted.

\- "No, O. She can't. She can't love. Anya told me this, and she herself admitted today."

\- "Then teach her."  
Blue eyes with a little fright looked into the dark.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> My English is not good so i hope you like and enjoy it
> 
> Attention i'm only translate this fic, there will be a moment where Warning LEXA RAPES CLARKE so if you don't like thinks like this don't read

Octavia’s words didn’t let go the blonde, alredy for two days. She did not understand how to teach this. But what is there to teach, she did not understand how someone could not know how to love?! According to Griffin, this was the most natural occurrence in the world. In its concept, each person could express   
feelings, whether positive or negative. But learn to love? it was not the most innocent idea that popped into head. Clarke had an imagination.

(Here she are sitting with Lexa opposite to each other, on her bed and playing poker. Lexa was left with only one bra and short shorts, while the blonde was still fully dressed grinning teeth predatory, says blue-eyed and throws the last winning card. _the blue eyes sparkle, and the mouth is filled with saliva. Lexa looks at the blonde with a half-closed languid gaze and deliberately slowly reaches for her back, unfastens the bra clasp, and centimeter by centimeter gets rid of the lost thing. It looks so alluring and sexy that the blonde swallows loudly. Breathing quickens and the hand reaches for the collar of the T-shirt, pulling it frantically. She becomes instantly hot. Such an innocent smile appears on full lips An innocent smile turns into a smile of a predatory seducer.  
The blonde realizes that she has just turned from a winner into a vanquished one. She, a victim of this ideal body, was captured by these wonderful green eyes, which absorb   
completely, preventing her from thinking about anything else. And as if Lexa wants to finish it to the end, with the tip of a pink tongue, seductively licks her full lips. Clarke does   
not stand up and leans forward to meet the temptation ....)_

_\- "Clarke! Clarke! .... Griffin, damn it! Wake up!" the blonde had to blink a couple of times to understand that she was dreaming, so much so that between her legs it was very wet. Clarke turns her head to voice and sees Octavia in front of her, and then the familiar surroundings.  
She was in her wagon, ready for the last show before moving. Now everything fell into place._

_\- “Clarke, you have to go. The show is about to begin."_

_\- “Yes, yes ... I already wanted to move forward.” Clarke answered hastily and headed for the door._

_\- "Well, I saw. I would like to look into your head a couple of seconds ago." the friend grinned._

_\- "Believe me, you would not want to." the blonde mysteriously grinned back._

_\- "Griffin, is it really, you succumbed to sexual fantasies ?!" the dark-haired covered her mouth in feigned horror._

_\- “You can only guess, Blake.”_

_\- "Pf ... I saw your face, don't need to be very penetrating to guess." Octavia snorted, at which the blonde flooded into a bashful paint._

_\- "Don’t worry. If I didn’t have Link and I would like girls, I would dream about her every day."_

_\- "That's it, O, let's not talk about this anymore." Clarke did not want to continue this conversation. She still clearly felt the consequences of her imagination between her legs._

_\- "As you say. Well, here we are. I'll leave you, Lincoln is waiting for me."_

_\- "Yes of course. Now the rest will come. See you later, O."_

_\- "Okay. Good luck."  
The dark-haired woman disappeared from sight._

_A few minutes later, the rest the participants the show arrived in time. Lexa sat astride and, raising one corner of her lips, nodded shortly in greeting.  
After their last ride, they no longer spoke properly. At training and shows, Lexa was restrained, but polite. If I turned to Clarke, then only in the case.  
And now, a polite nod and look are again directed strictly forward. Not a trace was left of that sweet and caring Lexa, who until recently smiled warmly, carefully carried in her arms and soothed in her arms. the blonde muttered to herself, but nodded slightly._

_The show passed, as usual. The blonde was already accustomed to the bright light, enthusiastic applause and sharp blades that stuck over and over again, with amazing accuracy, next to her body. After the show, leaving the tent, Clarke looked around for Octavia and, not finding her friend, wearily trudged toward her trailer._

_\- "Clarke." called the brunette, moving to blonde. - "Where are you going? Where is blake"_

_\- "To my wagon. I'm tired, to be honest." unlike herself, in the form of Lexa, she did not notice even a fraction of fatigue. the blonde was amazed._

_\- “Where is Octavia?”_

_\- “With Lincoln, probably as usual. I think she’ll be late again today. After all, everyone is celebrating again." Clarke watched Lexa with interest. A second hesitation flashed across her face._

_\- "I will accompany you." firmly said Lexa and, stepping closer, set up a bent elbow. - "Grab it, otherwise you barely hold on your feet."_

_With gratitude, the blonde clutched at the offered hand and once again made sure that the slender slimness of the brunette was deceiving. The strong muscles of the arms clearly stood out under the fingers. Thought Clarke to herself. Clarke stopped herself.  
But along the way, the blonde's body had a slow reaction and it clearly did not respond to the orders of the brain. Her fingers were stabbed and she squeezed a swarthy hand,   
hidden under the silk sleeve of a white shirt._

_The gesture did not go unnoticed and the brunette slowed down the pace of walking. Fortunately, to Clarke, they almost came and stood a couple of meters from her trailer._

_\- “Is everything all right, Clarke?” blonde thought that Lexa was a little nervous._

_\- "Yes, yes, everything is fine. Thank you for taking me."  
From this pleasant tingling enveloped the whole body and the blonde tried not to look into green eyes. She was sure that they would meet gaze, and this second Lexa would read not entirely innocent thoughts in her blue eyes._

_\- "It's my pleasure. I try to prevent another incident" again, this soft smile. Clarke noticed out of the corner of her eye._

_\- “Will you accompany me everywhere now?” the blond grinned._

_\- "If necessary." seriously, blonde heard in response, and yet looked into emerald eyes._

_There was no catch in them, only warmth and participation. Once again, the blonde's heart skipped a beat. She, as in her imagination, was not able to look away and, not realizing herself, took a step forward. Lexa instantly reacted by taking a small step back and looked away.  
Clarke sobered up this insignificant movement Clarke did not expect it's be so hurt. But hurt and not a little. Lexa noticed changes in the blonde's   
eyes and sharply pricked in her chest._

_\- “Do you want to come with me tomorrow?” popped up rash decision. She probably wanted to make amends, she justified herself._

_\- "Are you serious?" The blonde's eyes lit up._

_\- “Yes, part of the way, you can even drive, if you want.”  
After this generous offer, the blonde unexpectedly screeched joyfully and threw herself on Lexa's neck._

_\- “Yes, yes, yes .....” blonde repeated, bouncing on the spot.  
Lexa, who did not expect such an onslaught, stood, not daring to move, and did not know where to put her hands.  
Finally, Clarke noticed that she probably embarrassed the brunette with her violent reaction._

_\- "Oh, sorry." blonde won again the distance between them. - "Well, in general, gladly." Clarke smiled._

_\- "Come to the trailer when you be ready." Lexa said in a shaky voice. She still felt with her whole body the heat emanating from a slim body, and the softness of her breasts  
pressed against her own, from which her nipples sensually tensed._

_\- "Okay."_

_\- “Then good night, Clarke.”_

_\- “Good night, Lexa.”  
They turned with their backs at the same time._

_*****_

_\- “Clarke, stop feeding Sam.” Seriously, but with a smile said Lexa, sitting at the wheel. - “You spoiled him already. He had never been begging before."_

_\- “Sammy, you have a very strict hostess.” the blonde turned to the dog sitting at her feet, who gladly accepted pieces of the sweet bun._

_\- "Get to yourself your dog and pamper him as much as you like." Lexa continued looking at the road. - “And please don't call him Sammy!”_

_\- “And why not?” pouted blonde lips._

_\- "It's a rottweiler!" the brunette said it as if no further explanation was needed._

_\- "She's also tedious." added the blonde, looking into the dog’s eyes, and then, with a sly smile, glanced at the driver and met her gaze. Lexa, studying, looked at the blonde,  
wondering how she could be so cute and cocky at the same time._

_\- “You know, I really wanted to have a dog before.” Clarke admitted._

_\- “And what went wrong?” the brunette asked with interest.  
The blonde did not answer immediately. Lexa looked at her and noticed that she sadly lowered her shoulders and looked at the road._

_\- "Dad is dead." the blonde said in a low voice._

_\- "How old were you?" the next question sounded just as quietly._

_\- "Thirteen."_

_\- “I'm sorry, Clarke.” Lexa understood the grief of loss and sympathized.  
The blonde took a deep breath and shrugged her shoulders._

_\- "Everything is fine. It was a long time ago." Clarke turned her attention to Sam._

_\- "After, mom worked hard. A  
lot. She was sometimes not at home for days or nights. I was left to my own devices. I had complete freedom, which I took advantage of." the blonde continued her story, tugging at the top of Sam. - "What else to expect from a teenager?" She grinned sadly to herself._

_\- “Then you got in touch with bad company?”_

_\- “They are not so bad. Well, not all, anyway. For example, in our company there were two guys, Monty and Jasper. So they are geniuses in technology and computers. Very smart guys. Just also left without attention of parents."_

_\- “So, you tried to show a lack of attention?” Lexa wanted to understand the brunette._

_\- "Well, something like that. At first I was interested. Then I noticed that my mother had to mess with me more, after each new trouble. At least some attention on her part. Over  
time, she waved her hand at me, and it made me even more angry, forcing me to get involved in new adventures. Until I was caught stealing a car and everything became serious. Then you know yourself." The brunette nodded in response._

_realized by the brunette and, remembering what they had and what feelings she had, each time Clarke was very close, Lexa corrected herself But it didn’t change anything_

_\- “So you forgot that wanted to have a dog?” Lexa wanted to distract herself, and Clarke from sad thoughts._

_\- "Not certainly in that way. Somehow I said that I wanted a puppy, but my mother categorically refused, arguing that I was completely irresponsible to get a pet. (Clarke, you was have those two fish who did not live and half a year, what kind of dog?)" Clarke copied the tone and voice of her mother.  
Lexa could not help smiling._

_\- “Did they really die?”_

_\- “Well, to be honest, yes. I forgot to feed them,” Clarke admitted blushing. - "But then I was about six years old!"_

_\- “If Sam had stayed with you for a while, he probably would have died from overeating,” Lexa mockingly mocked._

_\- "Uh! I am now older and wiser." Clarke was indignant and hit Lexe on the shoulder._

_\- "Auch!"_

_\- "Don't pretend, you have steel muscles. I felt." Clarke exclaimed and fell silent, realizing that she said more than she wanted. An awkward silence fell in the car._

_\- “Kh ...”, breaking the silence, Lexa cleared her throat. - "And what's stopping you from having a dog now?"  
Clarke breathed a sigh of relief inaudibly._

_\- "Well, I don’t know, maybe someday."_

_There was silence again, but this time, she did not press._

_\- “I don’t remember my mother,” Lexa said suddenly in a calm voice. - “Maybe if she had not left me, everything would have turned out differently.”  
Clarke did not move, afraid to frighten off Lexa, who had so suddenly opened to her._

_\- “You don't remember anything at all?” blonde cautiously argued._

_\- "I remember her smell. A mixture of cigarettes, mint and for some reason oranges. Probably it was a deodorant," Lexa shrugged casually._

_Her voice was dry, without any emotion, but Clarke could not believe that it really leaves her so indifferent. Something told her that much more was hidden behind the mask of  
indifference._

_\- “You should sleep, Clarke. We still have three hours to go, and then work on the spot,” Lexa also suddenly changed the subject._

_Clarke carefully looked at the brunette at the wheel and came to the conclusion, once confession is enough._

_\- "Okay, if something, wake me up."  
Lexa nodded in response, and Clarke, sitting comfortably in the seat, closed her eyes and soon fell asleep, leaving Lexa in thought._

_They had been on the road for more than four hours. The first two hours, Clarke was driving and wholeheartedly enjoyed driving a car. They could not put gas much, as the Night Hunter was on a trailer behind. But Lexa saw that the blonde was glad to just sit at the wheel and drive along an endless straight road._

_Two hours later, for which they almost did not speak, since Clarke was passionate about driving, which caused Lexa a satisfied smile, they exchanged places. Lexa specifically allowed Clarke to be the first to drive. She knew that in a few hours blonde would get tired and could not confidently drive. And now Clarke was sleeping sweetly, tucked legs under herself. Lexa kept throwing short glances in her direction, and each time blonde fell more and more on side.  
Finally, unable to stand it, Lexa stopped the car on the side of the road and took a blanket from the trunk._

_Opening the door from Clarke's side, she lowered the chair to the maximum and covered her when blonde stretched out blissfully, pushing with her feet Sam, who was displeased rose and lay in a new comfortable position, again fall asleep with Griffin.  
With one flick of her fingers, the brunette removed the blond strand from Clarke's face. She still several long minutes, inseparably looked at a marvelous image, long imprinted in her memory.  
Having straightened the blanket again, brunette returned at the wheel and drove along the smooth roads._


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> My English is not good so i hope you like and enjoy it
> 
> Attention i'm only translate this fic, there will be a moment where Warning LEXA RAPES CLARKE so if you don't like thinks like this don't read

It was the fourth day in a new place. The circus was completely built and all participants were engaged in the usual affairs of the weekdays.  
Lexa and Clarke began to spend more time together. Without saying a word, they met at the stable every morning. Lexa taught Clarke to saddle the gelding and they were leaving for an hour's walk. To Clarke's joy, Lexa opened more and more every day. She did not talk about her feelings, but told about her studies. She told a couple of funny cases in practice.

For example, during her practice at the zoo, a very small baby elephant from their very first meeting did not like her and, at every opportunity, threw dirt or doused water, not   
allowing her to come close. Until she finally realized that the prankster disliked her perfume. That day she was late and did not have time to splatter with them and the elephant   
willingly let her in to her. The next day, she again perfumed and was immediately awarded a piece of mud in the back. Since then, Lexa has not used perfume.

\- “You smell really good without them.” then burst out from Clarke, to which Lexa was noticeably embarrassed, saying something under her breath.  
Clarke liked such an embarrassed Lexa. touching, blonde thought.

Clarke also noticed that Lexa, even now, with the relations between them changing, avoids bodily contact. And if it still comes to an innocent touch, most often from the side of   
Clarke, then the brunette noticeably flinches and frantically draws in air. At the same time, the blonde also has prickled her skin and quickened her breathing, but both girls   
stubbornly pretended that nothing was happening. Until the case in the stable.

Riding, as usual on Thursday, early in the morning and returning to the stable, Lexa was busy with horses, and Clarke was carried away by the game with Sam.  
The brunette looked at these two, who became almost the best friends, they got along so well.

\- "If this farther be continue, then I will begin to be jealous." with a good-natured smile said Lexa.

\- "I wonder which of us?" Clarke looked from beneath her lowered eyelashes, stretching her lips in a roguish smile.

This tricky question took the brunette by surprise. She ran her eyes and turned away, took up the gelding.  
Clarke smiled even wider. Leaving Sam alone, she grabbed a bunch of hay and began to sneak up to the stall, where an unsuspecting brunette was removing the saddle from Tango. Suddenly, a tangible bundle of hay landed on her head.

\- "What the....?" began to brush off Lexa. - "Clarke!"

But looking around, Lexa did not find the blonde, but she saw dog, which was either hiding, felting something sniffing out behind a small haystack, at the exit from the stable. From there came some whispering. Lexa came closer.

\- "Claaarke?" barely holding back a laugh, she held out. - “Not a good idea, taking Sam as a partner.”

\- "Damn, Sam! You definitely don’t go into reconnaissance." sighing distressedly, Clarke muttered showing up from behind a haystack.

\- “I doubt the army it's yours, Clarke.” full lips curved in a grin.

\- "Why so?" blonde frowned.

\- "Because in the army you need to recognize authority and blindly follow orders, and you obviously have problems with this."

\- "If only, I will be the authority and give orders." Clarke retorted confidently.

\- “Bless and save our army if it has such a general.”

\- "Ah well?!" Clarke deliberately said slowly, propping her sides with her hands. - “I'll show you how I can fight.”  
A dark eyebrow arched in question.

\- "Attack!" blonde exclaimed and began to throw hay to Lexa.

Lexa, covering her face with hands, moved forward, and in an attempt to stop the childish play, she grabbed hold of playful hands. A comic struggle ensued. Sam, sensing a cheerful mood, did not stand aside and began to interfere with his legs, from which at one moment they lost their balance and fell into a pile of hay.

The fall was mild, especially for Clarke. She was on top, and not wanting to stop the game, she began to tickle Lexa. As soon as Lexa felt fingers on her waist, she jerked and, laughing loudly, began to wriggle, trying to get rid of torture.

\- "Clarke! Clarke .. stop." shouted Lexa. - "That's enough .. I beg. You would be a great general! Just stop .... please ..."

\- "Say it again." Griffin demanded, laughing.

\- "Please, Clarke..." Clarke slowed down. - “Please ...” was heard quite quietly.

In the end, Clarke took pity on her victim and froze, breathing heavily at the ear. She removed her hands from brunette's waist and, leaning on elbows, looked into green eyes.   
Awareness of such proximity was covered with a head. And without that, heavy breathing became even deeper. Looks darted from eyes to lips and back. Clarke could not stand the first and slowly, as if giving the opportunity to say stop, she began to reduce the distance. When between the lips remained a reading millimeters, she froze.

Warm breathing touched her lips, a soft body under her trembling slightly, but Clarke did not move. She wanted Lexa to take the last step. Clarke was staring into the opposite eyes. She saw a burning desire in them.  
Well, she felt two warm palms on her back and full lips, tenderly clinging to her lips. The kiss was so innocent and cautious. Lips took turns investigated each other.

Clarke's lower abdomen unbearably tightened and she deepened the kiss, penetrating her tongue between her moist lips. Lexa let out a soft moan and eagerly answered the   
welcome intrusion. Every second, a hot kiss released the accumulated passion. Air was critically lacking. Hands indiscriminately rummaged on a back, going down to hips. Clarke   
herself did not notice how she was between long legs spread apart and when the swarthy hands squeezed the elastic buttocks, she pressed her hips closer, which caused a groan. Clarke made a guttural sound, and with passion she bit Lexa's lower lip.

\- "Lexa!" sounded the indignant voice from the side.

Both broke away from each other and looked who interrupted them. Costia stood not far from them and gazed at the embracing couple.  
Lexa was immediately jumped, almost throwing off Clarke, who was offended by such a reaction, and she followed to her feet.  
Clarke thought, noticing with what eyes Costia looked at her.

\- "Did you want something?" Lexa's voice sounded solid, although inside she tried to calm down a small earthquake, with ten balls.

Costia did not answer immediately, incredulously stroking Lexa and Clarke.

\- "Hmm yes. Titus wanted to talk to you before you leave." She did not hide her hostility to what she saw. - “He's waiting for you in the director’s trailer.”

\- "Okay, let's go."

\- "You're leaving?" Clarke startled.

\- "Yes, I have a meeting with a lawyer. I will be back on Saturday. The performance will be held as usual." the brunette said hastily.

\- "I spat on the performance." threw Clarke. - “Why didn't you say anything?” blonde could not hide the reproach and resentment.

\- “Since when should I initiate you into my plans?” Too sharply answered Lexe. The blonde jerked, as if from a blow, her gaze darted to Costia, whose lips formed a grin and blue eyes filled with pain.

\- "Oh yes, I forgot. I'm nobody here. Sorry." the blonde quipped in response. - "I'm going to get down to business." and the blonde rushed out of the stable.

\- “Clarke, wait ...” Lexa tried, but the blonde didn't even slow down. An unfamiliar feeling squeezed somewhere in the chest area.

*****

\- “Griffin, will you finally say what happened?” could not bear Octavia.

She waited two days that blonde herself would share with her what had happened and why the blonde was walking darker than the clouds.

All this time, Clarke was gloomy and avoided friends. She was hurt and offended. She thought that they became close with Lexa, became like friends, but she was mistaken. Clarke did not understand the brunette. At one point, Lexa revealed herself to her, then kissed her, as if there was nothing more important in this world, and at the next moment she repelled her, let her down right in front of a stranger.

\- "It's about Lexa. Right?"

\- "Is that so obvious?"

\- "I doubt that anyone or anything else in this circus is able to bring you to such a state." Octavia crossed her arms, waiting.

\- "We kissed, O."

\- “And Lexa kisses so badly that she didn't live up to your hopes?” the dark-haired did not understand everything.

The blonde sighed heavily,   
\- “No, it was just beyond all expectations.” admitted the blonde.

\- "What then?"  
Clarke was wrinkling.  
\- “God, Griffin, do I have to pull out of every word from you?!” Blake Jr. exclaimed indignantly.

\- "Fuck, don't yell, O. So sick."

\- "So say it already."

\- "OKEY, OKEY..."

Clarke laid it all in one breath and looked sadly at her friend.

\- “I'm such a fool, O. What did I expect from her?” Clarke said desperate.

\- “You're not a fool, princess. You are in love goosey." Octavia sank down next to Clarke on the bed and hugged.

\- "No need to exaggerate everything, O!" the blue-eyed wanted to be indignant, but the voice trembled and the eyes of the treacherous sparkled.

\- “You may not want to admit, but that's a fact. You crushed into our strict boss."  
Clarke sniffed and buried in her friend shoulder.

\- “Come on, Clarke, don’t. Everything will be fine, I'm sure." said Octavia, holding a blonde who was already openly crying.

\- “You are so positive because by you are everything going like clockwork,” Clarke said, wiping her tears.

\- “No, because I believe that everything always ends well. And all that is not being done, all for the better,” Blake answered cheerfully.

\- "I would like your mood, O."

\- "Take as much as you like, not miserably for friends."  
Clarke finally smiled back. She felt better again, sharing with her friend.

\- “And what should I do now?”

\- "Nothing. I think the next step is for Lexa. Behave as usual. And if she want to play a little bitch, ignore her completely."

\- “Hm ... not sure if ignore is a good tactic in her case. I think she only closes herself in herself more," Clarke mused aloud.

\- “Well, you probably should know better. Then just wait how she will behave. She has to come back today?"

\- "Yes, she said will be here on Saturday before the show. It’s lunch now, maybe she’s already arrived," the blonde shrugged.

\- "Come, we will throw the next portion of potatoes and we will gather you."  
Both girls rose.

\- "Give me two minutes, I’ll will wash my face."  
Clarke quickly washed away the traces of tears, and the girls went to dinner.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A translation of Я научу тебя любить by serafina_dieerste.  
> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> My English is not good so i hope you like and enjoy it
> 
> Attention i'm only translate this fic, there will be a moment where Warning LEXA RAPES CLARKE so if you don't like thinks like this don't read

Clarke was standing by the tent, fully prepared for the show. Lexa and the others were not there yet, but she knew for sure that the brunette was back from the trip. The black mustang stood in its usual place.  
Having not decided how best to behave, the blonde decided to follow her friend’s advice and wait for the next move from Lexa. Resentment and doubt tormented a young heart in love. Uncertainty did not allow to think clearly and draw reasonable conclusions.  
Clarke felt terribly depressed. She was terribly afraid and at the same time burned with the desire for a new meeting.  
Her mood was definitely not for performances, but there was nowhere to go, and having gathered all her willpower into a fist, she waited with bated breath for the appearance of the desired girl.

A few minutes before the start, Griffin heard a clatter of hooves behind her back. She knew Lexa, as usual, at the head of her team. The pulse quickened, but the blonde forced herself to stand and not turn around. She did not trust herself. She needed time to get used to the presence of the mistress of the circus.  
The clatter of hooves subsided. Behind them were quiet conversations and a snort of horses.  
Lexa was silent and Clarke too. Titus appeared, music sounded and the show began, taking with him a rider on a snow-white mare.

Everything was sort of like usual. The same light, the same faces, smiles and applause, but Clarke felt no more euphoria. She played her part, trying not to meet with eyes with her beloved eyes. At the moment of throwing knives, the blonde smiled a stretched smile and inseparably looked past the brunette. Towards the end, the blonde made a graceful pirouette, ignoring the outstretched hand, bid farewell to the audience and flew away from the arena. Everything looked as if it had been conceived. Blue-eyed did not see the reaction of Lexa, but she not cared.

Once outside the tent, she quickly, as much as uncomfortable sandals allowed, hurried to her hideout. Clarke was afraid that Lexa would follow her to scold for her random program.   
But having waited some time in the trailer and not seeing anyone, she sighed in relief, undressed and went to the shower.

Cold water washed away the tension and calmed the tense nerves a little. Comfortably sitting on the bed, the blonde enthusiastically made sketches in her album. Last days she often painted before going to bed.

A soft knock on the door tore her attention away from the album.

\- "Yes?"

The door opened quietly and Lexa appeared in the doorway. The blonde squeezed the pencil harder. Maybe an hour ago she was expecting a brunette’s visit, but now she completely unsettled her.

\- "Hello." Lexa was still standing at the door. She changed clothes and looked completely at home. A wide black T-shirt, sweatpants and regular slates. Wet hair collected in a sloppy bun and no makeup. Such the brunette, Clarke has not yet seen, and she seemed to her unbearably cute, comfortable or something. Yes, and the mistress of the circus was not quite usual. Somehow hesitantly stagnated, running her eyes through the meager environment.

\- "We already saw each other." sounded dry in response.

\- "Hello." Lexa was still standing at the door. She changed clothes and looked completely at home. A wide black T-shirt, sweatpants and regular slates. Wet hair collected in a sloppy bun and no makeup. Such the brunette, Clarke has not yet seen, and she seemed to her unbearably cute, comfortable or something. Yes, and the mistress of the circus was not quite usual. Somehow hesitantly stagnated, running her eyes through the meager environment.

\- "We already saw each other." sounded dryly in response.

\- "Yes you are right." green eyes ran even faster.

\- "If you are about the ending, then I ..."

\- "Not. I'm not here for that." the blonde was interrupted.

\- “Then what?” Clarke tried to sound indifferent, although her heart beat faster.

\- "I .... I wanted .... you ..." the blonde was completely stupefied by such indecision. 

\- “Lexa, I'm tired and would like to go to bed early. Spread already."  
The brunette took a deep breath.

\- "I do it ..... Well, in general ...." Lexa breathed out loudly, reached for the door somewhere and then, with outstretched arms, held out a small box. - "Here!"

\- "What is it?" the blonde asked incredulously.

\- "This is for you." Clarke had never seen such a timid smile. Lexa went into the trailer and took a few steps toward the blonde.

\- "To me? What is it? What for?" the blonde head still could not understand what was happening now. She looked at the brunette and did not recognize her.

\- “This is a gift, Clark.” again this uncertain smile.

\- "Gift?" Clarke frowned even more.

\- "Yes. Your gift." the bare feet in the shales reduced the distance by a few more steps. - “I wanted .... to me .... in short, Clarke, this is my present to you. Take a look." with some impatience in the end the brunette said.

The smallest furry muzzle peered out of the box. Two dark round buttons instead of eyes looked like only puppies can look. Two small paws appeared and the prettiest creature in the world barked several times, welcoming its new mistress.  
This time, blue eyes ran from the puppy in a box on Lexa with a soft smile on her face.

\- “Is he for me?” trembling voice betrayed excitement.

\- "She. And yes, this cutie is yours. If you want of course." uncertainty reappeared in the brunette's voice.

\- "Are you kidding? Of course I want!" Clarke held out her hands and carefully pulled the puppy out of the box.

\- “Hey ...” the blonde turned her full attention to the puppy and cooed nicely. - “And what should I do with you now?”

\- "Love, feed and not give to no one?" said the brunette. The blonde heard and it seemed to her that Lexa was not meant a puppy. Somewhere inside, a spark of hope flashed again.

The brunette was relieved from the heart. She was so afraid that Clarke would refuse the gift and throw it with shouts along with the box. Lexa was seriously worried after the last incident. She did not yet realize or did not want to do this, why she felt this way, but she had a great need to make amends.  
And now watching the blond girl, she was touched by her enthusiasm. 

\- “How do you call her?”

\- "Sammy!" Without thinking, the blonde blurted out and smiled fervently.

\- "Claaarke!" Lexa rolled her eyes.

\- "What?" Clarke innocently clapped eyelashes. - “I called Sam, Seemi. And she is Sammy."

\- “But she is a Rottweiler.” the brunette shook her head.

\- "So what. She's a girl, after all. To her it's possible." the puppy in her arms tried to lick the blonde’s face, and she was laughing, dodging the loving animal.

\- “Well, since you decided so. She is yours now." Lexa gave up. She could have looked at these two forever, but she felt that she was now superfluous.

\- "Um ... then I went. I think you need to get used to each other." Clarke looked at the brunette and noticed how she nervously fingered the edge of the shirt. Clarke dawned. Lexa may never apologize in aloud, but it was definitely a mute apology. And the blonde was touched to the core.  
She gently pressed Sammy to her and looked warmly at Lexa.

\- "Thanks. This is the best present in my life." with a happy smile blonde wanted to show that everything was fine. She is forgiven.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> My English is not good so i hope you like and enjoy it
> 
> Attention i'm only translate this fic, there will be a moment where Warning LEXA RAPES CLARKE so if you don't like thinks like this don't read

When Octavia finally returned, the newly made mistress of a three-month-old puppy happily fiddled with her on the floor. The eyes Blake's younger climbed forehead.

\- "Griffin, what is this ?!"

\- "This is, O, our new roommate." the blonde did not stop play with her gift.

\- "What? Where did you get this miracle?" the dark-haired woman was located nearby and, - "Lord, he is so cute." reached for the playful baby.

\- "She." corrected Clarke. - "And this is a gift from Lexa." heavenly eyes shone and the blonde smiled a happy smile.

\- "Lexa gave you a dog? Does she want to propitiate you like that?" Octavia skeptically raised one eyebrow. - “I bet a hundred bucks that you have melted and forgiven,” she smiled knowingly.

\- “Firstly, you don’t have that much money, Blake, and secondly, she’s really sorry, O. I saw. She was so touching insecure, standing here with a box in her hands." Clarke dreamily closed her eyes. - “And yes, I forgave her.” cheeks flushed.

\- “How can you not forgive, having received this furry miracle as a gift?” Clarke lovingly pressed her cheek to a pretty face. The puppy indignantly began to get out of his affectionate grip.

\- “And what are you going to do with her?” said Octavia, diverting the puppy's attention to herself.

\- "To love, to feed and not give to anyone,” Clarke quoted Lex. - "Her name is Sammy."

Octavia raised her eyebrows in question.

\- "What?"  
\- “Very original, Clarke,” O laughed.

\- "Don't get smart. My dog, as I want i call. Suits her, by the way,” Clarke dismissed her friend’s mockery.

\- "So you reconciled?" translated the topic Octavia.

\- "Something like that." Clarke blushed again. - “I will not pressure on her. She took the first step towards reconciliation, let's see what happens next."

\- “I told you that everything will work out.”

\- “Yes, yes, you are my seer,” Clarke grinned.

\- “Where will we arrange her?” Blake wanted to know.

\- “For now in the box, I already arranged a soft spot for her there.”

\- "Well, since we figured it out, I think it's time to stretch the limbs. I'm falling off my feet."

Octavia rose from the floor and followed into the shower. Clarke got to her feet too.

\- “Well, Sammy, baby, it's time for bed.” grabbing the puppy in her arms, she put him in a box in which she spread her old soft T-shirt. A shaggy ball of wool, making a couple of circles around its axis, found a comfortable position and curled up quite, putting its muzzle under its paws.

\- "Good night." Clarke said affectionately and herself settled down in bed, groaning blissfully. Her fifth point has already begun to acquire a square shape from a long sitting on a hard floor. She pulled the covers up higher and a few minutes later, when Octavia left the shower, she snuffle at the same time with her precious present.

*****

From that day, Clarke had a constant companion. Sammy always followed the blonde, managing to stick her curious nose everywhere. The blonde only managed to "save" the restless puppy. One time, Clarke actually got scared. She was in the menagerie and the puppy, exploring an unfamiliar place, came too close to the tiger cage. Indra was on time in time. 

\- “Griffin, if you got a dog, watch her.” the woman grumbled, passing the puppy from hand to hand. Since then, Sammy without a leash, which Lexa also took care of, was not allowed to the menagerie.

It was also fun watching the first meeting between Sam and Sammy. This happened immediately the next morning. The blonde, getting up early, decided to walk her girl, and at the same time get her something to eat.  
On the way to the dining room, Lexa was walking towards her. Clarke realized by her clothes. Behind Sam ran. The girls froze when they saw each other.

\- “Good morning,” the blonde began first.

\- “Good morning, Clarke,” Lexa smiled at her. - “I look, someone is marking their new possessions,” a playful look was directed at the dog, who at that moment was doing her thing on one of the wheels of the trailer.

\- "Yes, she quickly mastered. She's very smart,” Clarke answered proudly. - "Sammy! Sammy baby, come to me,” blonde called, clapping her knees. Sammy, yapping, rushed to the call. The girls laughed loudly when the puppy, clumsily fingering her legs, got tangled in her own legs and made a double somersault. Then she jumped again, snorting. Then Sam ran over, froze for a second and barked loudly. Surprisingly, the youngest was not at all afraid, but began to yap in response, raising her small paws up.

Lexa burst out laughing.

\- “Does this remind you of anyone?” brunette managed to pronounce.

The blonde did not answer immediately. She looked with admiration at the brunette. Her laughter was so contagious and very beautiful. Emerald eyes sparkled with genuine amusement.

\- “I think I know about who you are talking about.” Clarke was able to break away from the contemplation of beauty and looked at the animals.   
These two really were somewhat reminiscent of Clarke and Lexa and it looked so funny that the blonde also laughed out loud.  
Clarke thought.

A few minutes later the dogs calmed down and began to sniff each other and, satisfied with the result, began to enthusiastically play “catch-up”

\- “My girl seems to have a friend.” Clarke grunted.

\- "Yes, like her mistress."

Griffin looked questioningly at Lexa.

\- "Do you want to be my friend?"

\- "I AM? No ... that is, yes ... that is, no." the brunette began to stutter. - "Heck! I meant you and Sammy." she finally decided on the answer.

Clarke was amused by this reaction. She was not going to embarrass the brunette with her question, but Lexa blushing, a rare sight and painfully sweet.

\- "Clarke."

The blonde prayed mentally.

\- "You can skip training today. I think in the menagerie the puppy will like it more than sitting quietly at the arena."

\- "Probably you're right." agreed the blonde. She already thought about what to do with the puppy during the training.

\- “Then see you before the show.” Lexa smiled softly and went towards the stable. Faithful Sam rushed after.

After a successful show, Clarke did not dodge her outstretched hand. Her smile became even wider after Lexa intertwined her fingers together, squeezed tightly and held for longer than usual.

Sammy got comfortable and behaved well on a leash, so on Wednesday, Clarke returned to training. And although this was not necessary, Lexa took her hand every time, like on the show, and did not let go for a long time.  
The blonde enjoyed such intimacy and attention. More between them did not happen, but Clarke did not demand. She did not want to push, but took timid rapprochement.

*****

\- “Well, where did you dig out this brown miracle this time?” Anya sat opposite Lexa in the director’s trailer.

\- "At the shelter." smiled Lexa. - "I did practice there before starting to study. I wanted to see everyone and she was there. The employee said that the puppy was found at the bus stop, tied. There is neither a chip, nor a tag on her. She had been there for two weeks and no one turned for her." The brunette shrugged, saying that Anya herself understands the rest.

\- “And you wanted to be a good Samaritan.” the elder smiled warmly.

\- "Well, it happened. She reminded me so of Sam. And then Clarke and she said that she would like to have a dog. Something like that."

\- "Yes, I noticed a resemblance. Only this time, the brown ponytail runs after the little   
blonde one, and not the dark-haired one."

\- “Clarke is not a little one.” looking over a dark head, objected Lexa.

\- "Exactly, cuase at a little one, you would not look like that."

\- "What do you mean like that?" green eyes met with chocolate.

\- "Come on, Lexa. We are alone and you don’t need to pretend." Anya reproached the younger one in a friendly manner. - “I see how you look at her. Yes, and she too. You burn holes in each other.

The brunette stubbornly pursed her lips.

\- “Honey, you like her. I'm right?" Anya said softly.

The green-eyed dropped her eyes and nodded.

\- “So what's your problem? She likes you too."

\- “That's the problem, Anya,” Lexa said tiredly. - “She likes me, even after what I did to her. What if it grows into something more? What if she falls in love?" swarthy fingers nervously sorted out the papers on the table.

\- "Is it bad?"

\- "Sure! You do not understand. She will fall in love, want more, but I can’t give her what she deserves. I don't want to hurt her again.” The green eyes closed.

\- “I understand what you're afraid of, but don't you finally want someone around? Who will love you? To care about you?"

\- “No, I don't need that. It is a pain causing weakness. Neither I nor Clarke need her" dark hair was scattered over the shoulders from the energetic shaking of the head.

Anya did not say anything more. She only shook her head in dismay. 

They talked a little more about business and said goodbye.  
Lexa was left alone and thought. Her thoughts returned to the blond girl. She, too, saw how Clarke looking at her. How joyfully she holds out her hand and her wide smile slowly but surely makes a cold heart melt. And this new feeling frightened and captivated at the same time.

Lexa glanced at her watch. It was noon Sunday. There was still a couple of hours left until the last show and she decided to have lunch and begin to pack.  
There was a knock on the door and with it a familiar yapping. The brunette smiled and said.

\- "Come in, Clarke."  
The blonde quickly jumped inside, holding a puppy in one hand and a folded sheet of white paper in the other.

\- "We are not for long." blonde began modestly, releasing Sammy to the floor. She joyfully ran to Sam.

\- "How can I help?" Lexa with a smile looked at the dog fuss on the floor and looked at the blonde.

The blonde came closer and held out a folded sheet.

\- “I have a present for you too.”

Lexa took the bundle on the machine.

\- "What? Present?" she asked incredulously.

\- "Yes, I recently finished it and thought that maybe you want him to be with you." Lexa looked seriously shocked, and it was confusing.

\- “Look, if you don’t like it, then I won’t be offended,” the blonde smiled weakly.

With lethargic hands, Lexa began to unfold the paper and, seeing that on it, stared in surprise at Clarke.

\- "Did you draw this?" brunette finally said in a sinking voice.   
Lexa stared at the sheet on which she was depicted on the Night Hunter. Sam was sitting next to him. The accuracy of the details was astounding.

\- "Hmm yes. Sometimes addictive."

\- "Very beautiful." Lexa looked from the drawing to the blonde.

\- "I'm glad you like it. I know this is not the best gift and can not be compared with a dog, but ..."

\- “He's the best,” Lexa interrupted softly.

\- “Lexa, don't flatter me,” the blonde smiled.

\- “I'm telling the truth, Clarke. He is the best ... because the only one." Lexa carefully pressed the white sheet to her chest.

\- "As the only one? From me?" did not understand Clarke.

\- "Not only. This is my first present,” the brunette looked at the blonde with a moved look.

\- "What do you mean first?" Clarke bulged her eyes because she seriously did not understand.

Lexa shrugged casually.

\- "Until this moment, no one gave me gifts. Maybe my mother gave, I don’t remember, but the old man did not allow such trifles to himself nor to others, and then ..." again shrug. - "Somehow it did not happen. From no one."

\- “But ... but it's monstrous,” Clarke whispered in shock from what she heard. Inside, everything contracted with compassion. She felt so sorry for Lexa. She introduced a little girl who, probably, always watched how enthusiastically other children unpack their presents for birthdays and Christmas and only she was deprived by this joy. Blue eyes sparkled and tickled in the nose.

Lexa stood silently, holding the drawing to her chest. She looked so vulnerable and vulnerable.  
Clarke silently swallowed a lump in her throat. She knew Lexa would not want her pity.

\- “Well, I'm glad I became the first,” Clarke said with a trembling smile. - “I still have a few blanks, so you will have a couple more soon.”

Lexa went around the table, laid the sheet on the table and looked confusedly into blue eyes.

\- "May I hug you?" Clarke only nodded in response.   
Tears squeezed her throat, she was afraid to utter at least a sound, since she could not restrain them anymore.  
Clarke reached out and hugged Lexa by the neck. Lexa wrapped the blonde in a tight hug, almost completely wrapping her arms around her body. Clarke buried her nose in her   
brown hair and drew in her favorite scent deeply. she thought, calming down.

The brunette pressed her cheek to her blond hair and enjoyed their softness, slowly moving her hand over it. So they stood for several minutes.

\- “Thanks, Clarke,” Lexa said quietly.

Clarke could not speak, she only nodded her head briefly, then pulled away and gently kissed brunette on hair at the temple and another light kiss on the warm skin on cheek.

\- “I am very glad that I decided to give it to you,” the blonde could say in a broken voice. She took a step back.

\- “We gotta get ready soon.”

\- "Yes you are right. See you later." emerald eyes shone with warmth and gratitude.

\- "Yes, see you later."

Clarke raised the puppy in her arms and left Lexa alone with a pang.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A translation of Я научу тебя любить by serafina_dieerste.  
> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> My English is not good so i hope you like and enjoy it
> 
> Attention i'm only translate this fic, there will be a moment where Warning LEXA RAPES CLARKE so if you don't like thinks like this don't read

Clarke, stepping out of the tent, prudently stepped aside. Not really want to fall under the hooves of horses. The show was just over and the blonde breathed a sigh of fresh cool air in relief. In addition to the usual smells in the air, the smell of smoke blew. 

Although Clarke was expecting the horses to appear, she still jumped in fright when Lexa, on a white mare, first jumped out of the tent. Following her, the others rushed off towards the stables.

\- "Clarke!" Octavia approached to her with Sammy on a leash. She gladly volunteered to look after the puppy during the performances.

\- “How did my joy behave?” the blonde squatted down, allowing the puppy to kiss herself.

\- "As befits playful puppies. She gnawed at Link's boot." the friend laughed. - “He hasn’t seen yet, I hope he don’t show you the bill.”

\- "Will survive." the blonde grunted.

The girls walked into their trailer so Clarke could change clothes.

\- “Have you changed your mind yet? You promised to come with us today."

\- “No, I haven't changed my mind. Now I’ll turn myself into a normal person and go for a rest. I need to get distracted."

\- "Why get distracted? Did something happen again?" the dark-haired stiffened.

\- "No, not at all. Lexa just told me something about herself, which really affected me. Therefore, I want to distract from thought." the excited blonde said. She kept thinking about Lexa, about little Lexa, to be precise. And all the time the heart trembled. It was difficult for her not to feel sorry for the little girl from whom her childhood was stolen.

\- "What did she tell you?” Blake was intrigued.

\- “No offense, O, but I can't tell you. There is nothing secret there, but I don’t know if Lexa would be glad if she knew that I was talking about her personal life." Clarke said   
apologetically but firmly. Lexa only - just started to open up to her and the blonde did not want to undermine the tiny trust.

\- “I'm not offended, princess. I understand. If it were Lincoln, i would have done the same." In confirmation, Octavia smiled sweetly.

\- “Then drag your sexy ass under the shower, but hurry. The guys probably already started without us."

\- "I listen and obey." smiling, the blonde hid in the shower to wash off her paint, shine and fatigue.

*****

About twenty people sat around a big fire. Some on folding chairs, some on long benches, and some just on the ground. About the same number stood scattered behind the seated. The darkness has long come into its own. The clear night sky was illuminated by numerous stars.  
Clarke was sitting on one of the chairs between Octavia and Rey. The guys settled on the ground. Friendly laughter was heard from all sides, quiet or excited conversations. Alcohol dizzy pleasantly. Clarke did not drink much, but she already felt the lightness from a couple of bottles of beer. The body relaxed and she felt now so comfortable, so calm among new friends.

The young company, as one raised their heads and looked to the side, where the first guitar chords came from.

\- "Cool. I didn’t know that someone here was playing." Clarke perked up.

\- "This is Nico. Sometimes he has it if he drinks enough." Raven grinned. - “Just don't expect anything supernatural.”

Rey didn’t have time to finish the guy with guitar playing a little-known melody. Clarke winced after almost every second chord. , she boldly got up and confidently went to the culprit of her earaches.

\- "Can I?" with a sweet smile, the blonde said, standing in front of the guy and with her eyes pointing to the guitar.

Everyone around was quiet. No one expected this and everyone watched with interest what the restless blonde had in mind.

Nico looked at the blonde and shrugged, held out his guitar.

\- "Come on, surprise us, small one." the guy grunted in a mustache.

Clarke took the instrument, returned to her seat and, sitting down, arranged a guitar on her lap. The guys next to them sat with their mouths open and looked at each other in surprise.

And Clarke, not paying attention to them, checked how the guitar was tuned and adjusting it as she needed, raised her head, looked at her friends, smiled and took the first chord.   
The girl looked around at people who looked at her with different facial expressions. Some are doubtful, some with a grin, and some with interest. Until she met her eyes with the desired green eyes. Clarke just now saw that Lexa was also among those standing. She stood with a plastic cup and watched with surprise to the Griffin. Clarke knew exactly what she wants to fulfill right now. Her favorite song is Ed Sheeran - Photograph.

Looking up from her green eyes, Clarke lowered her head and began to play. When she sang in a clear, pleasant voice, many of her jaws dropped. No one expected this from a blonde.  
The familiar song sounded distinctly in the night. No one spoke or moved. Clarke sang and played very beautifully.

At some point, the blonde raised her head and fixed her eyes on the one for whom she sang this song. Lexa stood wide-eyed and even from her seat, Clarke noticed that her full lips quiver. Clarke sadly smiled at the brunette and continued looking into her eyes:

When Clarke sang about a photograph in pocket, a brunette hand jerked toward her back pocket and blonde understood immediately. Lexa carried her drawing with her! Blue eyes filled with tears. Emotions overwhelmed her. Her lips stretched out into an understanding smile, and she nodded slightly. As if reassuring 

Clarke sang, giving all of herself, plunging headlong into her feelings, and when she finished and looked again to where the brunette stood, she was gone. Clarke sadly lowered her gaze to the guitar. There was thunderous applause and a whistle, to which the blonde smiled shyly.

Clarke went straight to the Lexa trailer. Knocking briefly and not waiting for the invitation, she entered. Inside was twilight. One table lamp cast a dim light on the brunette. Lexa sat on the bed with her head in her hands. At the sight of a blonde, she quickly got up and stared into her blue eyes.  
Clarke slowly approached, feeling that the tension between them increased with her every step. She stopped only when they were separated by a few centimeters. The green eyes   
opposite were widened and burned with panic and desire at the same time. The desire of the blonde did not allow her to breathe. The chest heaved heavily, and the skin began to tingle.

\- “Lexa ...” croaked more than said Clarke. Then she did not have time. Long swarthy fingers tangled in blond hair and pulled closer. In a passionate kiss, Lexa covered blonde's lips and let out a soft moan, finally tasting the desired lips that she had not allowed herself to kiss for so long. The blonde wrapped her arms around the brunette's neck and warmly answered the kiss. Tongues played their game, learning each other. Clarke spread her dark hair, pulling off the elastic and gladly ran her fingers into the chestnut silk, pulling her beloved even closer. Lexa made a guttural sound and, grabbing the blonde under her hips, sank down on the bed with her. Clarke groaned blissfully, feeling the pleasant weight of brunette's body on herself. They kissed with wild passion, biting their lips and tongue, releasing a sizzling passion. Lexa began to move, pushing her hips between blonde's legs.

\- “Clarke ...” Lexa breathed into her lips.

\- "Take me, Lexa." Clarke groaned. - "I want you."

A throaty sound erupted from the brunette's throat and she eagerly began to kiss the blonde. Passing from lips to chin, neck, not missing a centimeter. Clarke frantically unfastened the small buttons on Lexa's shirt. Fingers did not obey.

\- “Lexa, take this off.” impatiently demanded the blonde.

The brunette got up and quickly got rid of her clothes, and then helped the blue-eyed blonde to pull off her tight jeans. All this time they looked at each other with a hungry gaze.

When the brunette again covered the blonde with her body, she let out a long moan and wrapped her arms and legs around her slim body. Green eyes stared for a long time at the blue, frozen in anticipation, and the next kiss was full of tenderness and affection. Lexa gently guided her tongue along her lips, penetrated inside, intertwined with another tongue.  
Clarke stroked the delicate skin of the back, feeling its uneven surface, tangled her fingers in brunette's hair. Inhale exhale, exhale exhale, only heavy breathing and weak moans were heard.

A dark head bent over the chest and soft lips captured the pink nipple, playing with tongue and making her strain more and more. Clarke clutched her silk hair, writhing in desire and passion. But Lexa was in no hurry. She explored first one, then the other breast, slowly going down lower, stroking long legs.

\- “Lexa, I ..” a knocked out cry fell.

\- “I know ..” the brunette said quietly with a slight smile, and without delay she held a hot tongue to the blonde's hot spot.

Clarke screamed faintly, leaning in to meet warm lips. This inflamed the brunette to the limit, and with all her skill she gave to the blonde heavenly enjoyment with her lips and tongue.   
Clarke's moans echoed across the trailer, blond hair scattered across the pillow, a few strands stuck to wet skin, but the blonde did not notice it. Her entire consciousness was now concentrated below her waist. Hands darted about the bed, wanting to find support.  
Lexa felt that the blonde was close to exploding, her ragged breathing and shaking of her hips all indicated that Lexa should put a little more pressure on one point and Clarke would explode. Which she did. Clasping blonde's hips tightly, she increased the pressure on the excited clitoris and a couple of seconds later, Clarke trembled strongly with her whole body, arched her back in an arc, froze for a few seconds and fell back on the bed with a loud moan. Lexa last time gently held her tongue, licking the sweet moisture and sneaking, crawled to the immovable blonde. Her frequent breathing confirmed that she was still alive.

\- "Hey." the brunette lay down propping her head on hand.

The blonde turned her face to her powerlessly and, without opening eyes, extended her lips in a contented smile.

Lexa gently removed the clinging light strands from Clarke's face. Clarke cleverly grabbed brunette's hand and began to cover her palm with small kisses.  
Initially, short kisses confidently turned into longer ones. The blonde was already looking out from under the lowered eyelashes at the brunette and with a devilish smile she clasped her middle two fingers with lips, drawing them in full length. She was pleased to notice that the pupils of Lexa immediately expanded, her lips parted.   
Lexa was breathing heavily, not taking her eyes from fingers and greedy mouth. The blonde, meanwhile, clasped her fingers in her tongue and sucked sweetly. Making sure Lexa was on fire again, she released her fingers and pushed the brunette onto the pillows, sitting down next to herself. She bent over such a beautiful face, - "Kiss me, Lexa." she ordered, and Lexa gladly obeyed. The girls did not come off their lips and Clarke began to move her hand over hot body. Gently drove along the neck and chest, scratched the skin, until she was at the very center of passion. Lexa at this moment strongly bit the blonde on the lip, but that only made Clarke more excited.

\- “God, you're so soft and wet.” moaned the blonde, covering her eyes from pleasure when she penetrated deeper.

\- “Shut up, Clarke.” whispered Lexa and pulled her to herself for another kiss.

Clarke immediately felt for the excited point and began to slowly drive along it in circular motions. The hips of the brunette moved to the beat. The pace grew faster, Lexa pulled the blonde to herself and pressed because of all the forces.

\- “Strongly..” brunette said strangled.

Clarke obeyed and pressed harder, accelerating her fingers. The brunette frantically moved her hips, pressing blonde soft body to herself. Clarke caught every moan with her lips and did not take eyes off brunette. Finally Lexa jerked hard and opened her eyes wide. The mouth opened in a silent scream. Tense fingers between the legs lay on top of the hot bosom and pressed, holding it until the brunette's breath calms down.  
This happened only a few minutes later. Lexa lay silently with her eyes closed and listened to her frantically beating heart. When the pulse returned to normal rhythm, brunette opened her eyes and looked at the blonde.

\- "Now hey." blonde said softly.

Lexa pursed her lips in a contented smile.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A translation of Я научу тебя любить by serafina_dieerste.  
> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> My English is not good so i hope you like and enjoy it
> 
> Attention i'm only translate this fic, there will be a moment where Warning LEXA RAPES CLARKE so if you don't like thinks like this don't read

The first pink rays of the rising sun penetrated through a wide window, pleasantly caressing the naked bodies lying with their backs to the window at a short distance from each other. They held in their arms until dawn, insatiably studying the sweet smell and taste of each other. The trailer was thoroughly saturated with the smell of a hot night.  
And now, satiated for a while, the girls lay powerless, enjoying the silence. Clarke sprawled by the window and admired the perfect brunette body. Lexa lay on her side, with one hand under the pillow and legs crossed. In the sunlight, the blonde could now examine every detail of the intricate tattoos. She gently ran her fingers along her graceful back, repeating the dark lines.

At night in a burst of passion, Clarke did not pay much attention to this, but now, calmly studying the swarthy body, the lump in her throat became larger and larger. The blonde   
almost bitten her cheeks and lips to blood, trying not to betray her condition. The fact is that Lexa's body was completely covered with scars. They were everywhere. On the hands, buttocks, legs, but the worst went to the back. Clarke carefully guided her fingers from top to bottom, again and again, trying to find at least a piece of unbroken skin. But in vain, literally every centimeter was disfigured by long scars. It seemed that the whole back of the brunette was once one solid wound.

Clarke was hold back tears, her hand trembled. Subconsciously, she knew that Lexa would not like the pity on her part, but she could not control herself. Contradictory feelings   
prevailed over her. Wrath and anger at old Montanelli, compassion and resentment for young Lexa and despair for powerlessness to change anything. To take at least a fraction of the pain that the brunette had to endure. At blonde escaped a quiet sob.

\- “Clarke,” Lexa called softly.

\- "Mm?" Clarke now could not utter a word, so as not to openly cry.

\- “Don't ...” the brunette continued, barely audibly.

\- “I know, I'm sorry.” swallowing tears, the blonde was able to pronounce.

Lexa exhaled deeply and turned with face to the blonde.

\- “That was a long time ago, Clarke. Don't feel sorry for me." brunette asked restrainedly.

\- “I don't regret you, Lexa. I hurt for the little girl for whom no one stood up, and if old Montanelli was alive, I would have rinsed him with your whip." Clutching her fists, the blonde said excitedly.

\- “I would like to see you use a whip. You would be got confused in him that I would have to save you from him." followed by a soft smile. Clarke, presenting this picture for a second, also smiled warmly in response. The tears receded and the blonde moved closer. Now the girls lay nose to nose, which the blonde used. Playful way, she rubbed her nose of Lexa's nose.

However, this was not enough for Lexa, and throwing her hand over the blonde, Lexa pressed her as close as possible to herself, kissing alluring lips. The kiss was unhurried, sensual. Clarke, succumbing to pressure, lay back on the pillow and melted under the tenderness of brunette's lips.

\- “We have to get ready, Clarke.” reluctantly, Lexa looked up from the blonde.

\- “Yeah ...” she muttered displeasedly. - "When we leave?"

\- “I need to follow the work, prepare the Night Hunter, and we can go.”

\- "We?" Clarke did not hide her smile.

\- "Yes, we are. Or do you want to go with someone else?"

\- "No no. I just wanted to clarify."  
Both girls smiled knowingly, got out of bed and began to dress.   
There was not a drop of embarrassment or inconvenience between them. It’s like they’ve been years, like this, they wake up and walk naked on the trailer collecting scattered clothes.

\- "Hey!" the blonde cried out indignantly. She bent over her shorts when felt a weighty pop on her buttocks.

\- “I like when you shine like that with your sweet fifth point in front of me.” the brunette spoke in the voice of the inveterate Casanova and bent over in confirmation and left a delicious kiss on one of the buttocks.  
The blue-eyed squinted suspiciously.

\- "No doubt. I suspect, one of your fantasies, I'm naked, in one apron, preparing dinner for you, and you throwing your legs on the table, with a glass of whiskey, smile carnivorous."

\- "Not. Did not guess." full lips sprawled in a sly smile, to which the blonde's eyebrow arched. - "Not whiskey. Gin, I would drink gin." complacently finished Lexa.

\- “Well, of course, how could I be so wrong ?!”

Both girls fell silent for a second and simultaneously laughed.

Clarke was the first to get dressed and went to the brunette. She wrapped brunette with arms around neck and framed her face for a kiss, which was not long in coming. Lexa clung to her lips, hugging a thin waist. The kiss from the lung became more and more intense.

\- “Well, go, otherwise we will never get out of here.” breathing, said the brunette.  
The chest of the blonde also rose high.

\- "When should I come?"

\- "I think in three hours I’ll manage. So far, help to Anya."

\- "Good."  
Clarke kissed Lexa for the last time on the lips and left the trailer with a happy smile.

*****

In trailer, the blonde found Octavia, very awake.

\- “Didn’t you sleep at all either?” Clarke asked without thinking.

\- "Also???" the lips of the dark-haired woman began to stretch into the smile of a Cheshire cat.

Clarke blushed for a moment and turned her attention to Sammy.   
\- "How did my girl behave?"

\- “This girl,” Octavia emphasized the first word, - “behaved decently, which, I suppose, cannot be said about you.” Cheshire smile did not leave the face.

Clarke blushed even more.

\- "Well, tell me."

\- "Leave me, O. I do not inquire from you about your sex life with Link." Blond wave away.

\- "Sexual means. Well-well ..." Blake laughed already.

\- "Fuck, O!" cursed the blonde, realizing that she gives herself away.

\- “What, O? God, Griffin, everything is written on your face ... and on the neck, among other things, too." the dark-haired woman already laughed out loud.

\- "What?" Clarke rushed to the small mirror on the table, - "Damn, Lexa!" the blonde muttered, examining the large burgundy spot on her neck.

\- "You was have the interesting night." friendly taunts continued.

\- “Oh, Blake, shut up already. How can I go with this ?! I'm not 15 years old!" complained Clarke.

\- “Oh, come on, Princess. Big deal of a hickey on the neck, with whom it does not happen. Most likely many will become envious of you."

\- "Why's that?" raising her eyebrows, the blonde turned to her friend.

\- “And you didn’t notice how some people look at your Lexa. By the way, both sexes sunk into her and would gladly be in your place. So be proud." Octy laughed, clapping her friend on the shoulder.

\- "This is our personal matter, and it is not necessary for everyone to know that I sleep with the mistress of the circus." Clarke was afraid that rumors would begin to circulate about her, that she was just another selling woman for a formidable brunette.

\- "If you are afraid of rumors, you be sure that Lexa will not allow anyone to discuss her personal life. So relax."

\- "In this you are probably right." Clarke reassured the thought. She and Lexa themselves had not yet spoken about what all this would lead to, so she was sickened by the thought that strangers would build on them.  
\- “Well, princess, let's get ready. Do you even have the strength to work?" Octavia could not resist the mockery.

\- "Blake!"

\- "I am silent, I am silent." a friend took a step back, raising her hands.

\- "So be quiet!"

The next half hour, the girls gathered together. Shower, clean clothes, quick breakfast and each one to the place of work.

Three hours later, Clarke walked over to the Lexa trailer. She hitched the trailer to the car.

\- "Can I help you?" Clarke stood next to her and watched with pleasure at skillful hands. Pictures of last night arose in head, and all that these hands could do. The lower abdomen immediately pulled, she automatically squeezed her legs.

\- “No thanks, I'm done.” Lexa took an upright position and wiped the back of her hand, a couple of drops from her forehead, while leaving a small dark spot on it.

The blonde, without thinking, raised her hand, and tried to wipe the dirt with her thumb. Lexa jerked a little back from this gesture.

\- “Clark, don't.” brunette said hastily, seeing a offense in blue eyes. - "I don't want to put my personal life on display."

Clarke nodded in understanding, and went to the car. She did not want to be offended, because she already knew that it would not be easy with Lexa. But it still hit her. Not wanting to spoil either herself or Lexa's mood, she forced herself not to think about it.  
A couple of minutes later, the brunette got over the wheel and they set off.

About an hour passed, when Clarke decided to ask a question that sat in her head a very long time ago. From the moment she first saw a tattoo on brunette's back. All this time they just enjoyed each other's company, chatting about nothing. Lexa was quite relaxed and even laughed at the blonde's jokes. Until Clarke turned to the question.

\- “Lexa, can I ask you something? Personal." the blonde immediately noticed how the brunette's back straightened tensely.

\- "You can." brunette said calmly.

\- "Why «Creation of Adam?»" in one breath Clarke gave her question.

Lexa grinned, lifting only the right corner of her lips.

\- "A naive desire to hide traces of the past." An obvious sarcasm was heard in the answer.

\- "And more precisely?" the blonde dared to insist.

Long fingers tightened on the steering wheel. The silence dragged on. The brunette apparently struggled with herself. Clarke already regretted that she decided to penetrate so deeply into the complex essence of the brunette.

\- "Everyone interprets Michelangelo differently." began the brunette restrained.  
Clarke fell silent, delving into every word.

\- "The picture shows the true moment of human creation. When he gets his soul. To create and build is what God gives him." the brunette cast a short glance to the side. Clarke looked at her intently and was not going to interrupt.

\- “The soul, that’s what makes man human and makes it possible to love.”

\- “I thought you didn't believe in love.” the blonde put in quietly.

\- "I said that I do not know how to love. But I think there is. At least him." green eyes looked up. - "God created man out of pure love, not expecting anything in return. Gave the   
opportunity to just live, this is the meaning of life. How you live it is up to everyone to decide. Everyone has different goals. But people do not understand this. They do not use what God has given them to create and build beauty. They are all just ruining." Again, green eyes met with blue. The blonde was silent. Lexa looked at the road.

\- “Understand, Clark, not God, cruel, but people. An ideal world was created for us, with ideal creations. But we misuse this. The world is cruel, and I wanted to hide this cruelty, behind something beautiful. God's boundless love for man overshadows all the bad. I don't know how to feel it, but even so, it is displayed on me."

\- "Therefore, animals are closer to you?" Clarke was amazed at how deeply Lexa thinks. She did not expect her judgment on God. She did not expect Lexa to believe in him.

\- "May be. Animals, unlike humans, are not cruel for pleasure. They follow the survival instinct. To survive in this world is what drives us. Only people do this with extreme cruelty."

Silence fell in the car. Each thought about his own. Clarke pondered the brunette's words. They were deep in her head. 

Lexa thought why she was so open to the blonde. She had not told anyone what she had just told Clarke. There was something in the blonde that made trust her. Open the curtain and let it go. This was scared a green-eyed. It repelled and attracted at the same time.

The silence in the car lasted quite a while, but it did not bother. She rather reassured. Clarke looked up from her thoughts and began to watch the brunette. She confidently drove the car. The blonde peered into a proud profile, half lit by the morning sun. Eyes outlined a straight line of the nose. His gaze lingered on his full lips, which were slightly parted. Clarke unconsciously licked hers, remembering the taste. Desire rolled unexpectedly. The palms sweated, between the legs it became unbearably buzzing. Breathing quickened.

\- “Lexa ...” a voice sounded.

The brunette jerked, clutching the steering wheel harder. She immediately recognized this intonation. Clarke spoke her name more than once that night. The heat flared up all over her body, it hit like an electric discharge. Lexa slowly looked from the road to the blonde next to her. Dilated pupils, heavily uplifting breasts, all indicated that she correctly identified the tonality of the blonde.

\- "I want you. Now." with the same guttural voice said Clarke.

Lexa was ready to explode from the flare of passion. She smoothly turned off the road and, after driving a couple of hundred meters, stopped in the middle of the desert.

\- "Come out." brunette threw. The girls simultaneously got out of the car, closing the doors behind them. Three steps met in the middle near the hood.

They pounced on each other, as if they had not seen each other for eternity. The kisses were wild and insatiable. Tongues fought a fierce battle. There was no tenderness, only   
unrestrained passion. For two counts, Lexa unfastened the button on the blonde's shorts and pulled them together with underwear, penetrating hand between blonde's shifted legs. The legs parted readily and hot fingers penetrated inside. The blonde with a loud moan clutched at the brunette's shoulders. The legs were bent. The brunette did not hesitate to turn the blonde around with back to her and bowed. Clarke rested her knees on the bumper, and with her hands on the hood and immediately felt again how long fingers filled her.

\- "Oh my God!" blonde moaned.

\- "Yes? I'm listening to." Lexa exhaled languidly in the ear of the blonde, leaning over her. The hand continued rhythmic movements, each time entering deeper. Clarke responded to every push, leaning on her fingers and moaning.

\- “Lexa ...” the blonde whimpered. And Lexa understood without words and accelerated the pace and pressure. She grabbed blond hair and pulled on herself.

\- “Yeah ..” the blond shouted out loudly. Lexa growled and began to violently drive her fingers into the wicking bosom, pushing the blonde on them as deep as she could. Clarke   
screamed loudly the brunette's name, demanding more. And Lexa gave each time more and more, until the blonde whined, asking for discharge. The second arm wrapped around the waist and held it tightly to itself. Found a swollen clitoris and with quick torn movements helped to reach the peak of pleasure. Clarke finished just a minute later, powerlessly falling on the hood of the car. Lexa wearily fell from above.

\- "Excellent discharge on the road." Clarke giggled.

\- “Can repeat it in an hour.” the brunette grunted in response.

The girls found the strength to get up and tidy themselves up. Lexa raised the blonde's chin with her index finger and gently kissed first on the lips, then on the nose and finally on the forehead.

\- “I really liked it, wild one.” brunette smiled sweetly.

\- "From the savage I hearing." a reciprocal smile and a light kiss on the lips. - "Continue the path?"

Lexa nodded and they sat down. The dogs in their legs curiously raised their noses, but without smelling anything remarkable, went to sleep again.  
After 15 minutes, the blonde fell asleep. Received discharge, the body was put to sleep and she laid one hand on the thigh of a brunette, peacefully snuffle.  
Lexa watched her for about ten minutes and, with a smile, shook her head, stopped by the road to get a blanket for the blonde again and lower the seat. For her part, since she did not want to slam the door once more, she brought the seat to a horizontal position, covered it with a blanket and set off with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reflections of Lexa about God and the picture, the free word of the author)


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> My English is not good so i hope you like and enjoy it
> 
> Attention i'm only translate this fic, there will be a moment where Warning LEXA RAPES CLARKE so if you don't like thinks like this don't read

The next two weeks passed like in a dream. With every second spent with Lexa, Clarke fell in love more and more. Her smell has become so dear, so necessary. In the afternoon, with strangers, the brunette was restrained in her feelings. Only fleeting touches and fiery glances - all that the girls exchanged. But left alone, everything changed. Hot impulses of passion mixed with trembling tenderness. Clarke spent every night with Lexa. So everyone in the circus knew about this relationship. Whether this was a real relationship, the girls themselves did not know. Clarke was afraid to start this topic and scare away. She did her best to drive away from herself thoughts about the future, about what would happen in a few weeks. After all, her stay in the circus is coming to an end. The blonde tried to enjoy the time allotted to her.

Lexa did not talk about feelings, making the blonde as happy as she could. Lived only for today, putting aside every happy moment in my memory so that could later scroll through them again and again. She accepted that Clarke would soon disappear from her life. She will have to let go of the blonde so that someone else can love the blonde the way she deserves. Give her what Lexa is unable to give. Love.  
In order not to complicate the situation, Lexa at the slightest hint about feelings or the further development of their interactions, immediately changed the subject. She knew that she hurt the feelings of the blonde, but she thought it would be better for both of them. Clarke shouldn't have false hopes.

Another such incident happened one evening in a trailer. Lexa was sitting on the floor and playing with dogs. The blonde perched on the bed behind her and weaved intricate pigtails in her brown hair.

\- “Clarke, you are puffing under your breath, as if you are doing the most difficult physical work.” the brunette grinned.

\- "Because it is, your head turns like the blades of a helicopter! Try to braid something path here." Clarke muttered. All her attention was focused on the naughty silk strands that   
slipped through her fingers every now and then.

\- “Why did you start this at all, we care soon to bed, and you know that your zeal will be spoiled there.” the brunette raised her head to look into blue eyes, - "By you, by the way." brunette summed up and winked.

Griffin smacked brunette's forehead and turned her head to its original position.

\- "I want to learn how to make you pigtails, as you always do them for yourself on the show."

\- "What for? I am pleased if you just mess around in my hair. You probably recall a little monkey from the side." Lexa blissfully threw her head back. She almost melted from pleasant sensations.

\- "If I learn to braid them correctly, then I can always do it for you in the future. So don't turn around." the blonde blurted without thinking. She was so focused that she did not   
immediately realize that she had crossed an invisible line.  
The back in front of her straightened, the head froze. Clarke held her breath.

\- "I think we really should go to bed, get up early tomorrow." The brunette quickly rose to her feet, hiding her green, confused eyes.

\- “Yes, you are probably right.” the blonde answered quietly and also got up. - "I'm the first to shower." holding a tight smile on her lips, the blonde went to the shower.

Without taking two steps, the blonde felt a warm palm rest on her elbow and turned around. Clarke stood silently, looking at her feet. Lexa gently kissed her drooping eyelids and, holding blonde's face in her hands, raised her head to look into blue eyes.

\- "Don't hold back for long, I will be miss." brunette said warmly and closed her lips on blonde's tightly pressed lips. A second, two, and the blonde melted. She parted her lips and deepened the kiss.

\- “I will try not to use all the hot water.” blonde exhaled after.

\- “You promised the same last time." Lexa snorted and gave another kiss on the tip of her nose.

\- "Hey, then there was a special case. After playing with Sammy and Sam, I was covered in mud!" tried to justify Clarke, her habit of standing under the shower for a long time.

\- "Well, of course. What kind of emergency was the day before?"

\- “I don’t remember, but there was definitely something." Clarke knitted her brows as she remembered. - “If you don’t like it, then I can go to my shower.” the blonde suggested,   
although she absolutely did not want to leave Lexa.

\- "Yes, I'm joking. Go bathe as much as you want." A warm smile made Clarke smile back.

\- “I will honestly try to hurry.”

\- "Come on, go." Lexa turned the blonde to the shower and slammed slightly on the fifth point.

When the door closed behind blonde, Lexa wearily sat down on the bed and thought.  
she sighed and shook her head.

*****

After this incident, Lexa changed. Clarke felt it. Felt that brunette was estranged. Mentally. Lexa was still gentle and attentive, but something was not the same as before. Lexa began to avoid her. During the day, when met, Lexa tried to be busy, looked away, did everything to avoid intimacy. Everything seemed unintentional, but Clarke felt inside that it wasn’t. It was scary. The thought that Lexa would one day give her up was breaking heart. The throat was squeezed and it became difficult to breathe. Clarke wondered frantically. This cast a shadow on the cloudless pastime with Lexa. Only the nights remained the same. And Clarke gave herself to them without a trace.

On one such night, she dared to take a big step for herself.

She was lying on her back, blonde hair strewn across the pillow. Frequent breathing and hoarse moans were heard throughout the trailer. Lexa lying between blonde's slender legs and slowly covered her flat belly with kisses, slowly tracing her fingers between the wet folds.

\- "Lex .." the blonde moaned.

\- "Mm?" not looking up from the hot skin, she mumbled in response.

\- "Take me, as then. With this thing." From embarrassment, the already heated face was more red with paint.

Lexa froze and, without lifting her lips, looked up at the bloknde.

\- "Are you sure?" brunette, leaning on her elbows, hung from above.  
Eyes dark blue with passion, without looking up, looked into emerald ones.

\- "Yes, I'm sure." Clarke quietly confirmed her desire.

Lexa's body was overwhelmed by a strong wave of desire, she did not dream of such a thing. Imagining how she would take the blonde, everything inside was so pulled together that her teeth clenched.

\- "Ok." brunette managed, and slowly got out of bed. Looking around the open body with a greedy look, she went to the closet and pulled out a strapon.  
Lexa shot another inquiring glance at Clarke and received an encouraging nod in response. Clarke looked at her with impatience and lust. This dispelled the last doubt. Fastening the strap on her hips, Lexa carefully lay down.

\- “If I hurt you, tell me.” brunette asked quietly.

\- "Don't worry. Things are good. I want you." shortness of breath, dilated pupils.   
Lexa saw that Clarke was exhausted with desire. She lowered her head and kissed blonde lips furiously. Clarke answered violently.   
Clarke felt pressure between her legs and jerked her hips to meet. A guttural sound escaped from brunette throat and she lunged at Clarke even more furiously, gnawing her teeth into blonde's neck. Loud moans inflamed more and more, brunette began to move her hips, without ceasing to kiss and bite her delicate skin.

\- "Lexa, now." there was a wheeze somewhere near the temple.  
Lexa lowered her hand and confidently sent the artificial cock into the hot bosom. Centimeter by centimeter she penetrated deeper, staring intently into blue eyes. They opened wide as Lexa fully entered.

\- "Everything is good? Are you in pain?" brunette asked carefully.

\- "Lexa, shut up and fuck me." Clarke hissed through gritted teeth. The bottom of her abdomen was one ball of fire, below it burned so that she could hardly restrain herself. She   
fidgeted impatiently.

These words blew Lexe's roof off. In one movement, she came out from the blonde and again sharply thrust a member to the very bottom. Then she slowly took out and again a sharp intrusion. And so she moved over and over, making Clarke feel sweet agony.

\- “Please,” blonde whined. With a deep growl, Lexa pushed the blonde into the mattress and began to move faster. Each time accelerating the tremors. Harder, deeper, no longer   
knowing who was issuing hoarse moans. Clarke dug her nails into sweaty back. Lexa let out a loud groan and, without opening the bodies, suddenly turned over.

\- "I want to see you." brunette said, holding Clarke's thighs.

Clarke straightened in back, saddled a brunette.

\- "You are a little pervert." blonde said, panting, brushing her hair to one side. Grasping brunette's small chest with her palms, the blonde began to smoothly move her hips, staring intently into the darkened eyes. She liked to be on top, to set her own rhythm. Look into eyes burning with passion. She felt a kind of power.

\- “Now you fuck me, Clarke.” This was the last straw for the blonde. She moved at an increasing pace, pushing herself deeper on a solid object.  
The brunette looked at Clarke and could not get enough of an unforgettable sight. Her head thrown back, blond hair fell down on her back, illuminated by moonlight, lips parted from passion, her full chest bounced along with the blonde in a frantic rhythm. Loud moans echoed in head. Lexa laid her hands on the hips of the blonde and moved with her. She felt increasing pressure between her legs. They were both on the verge.

Clarke's movements became jagged. She clung to wherever she fell, painfully scratching the skin. Lexa hissed loudly, pressing blonde's hips harder on her. Clarke suddenly screamed loudly, arching her back, and froze. The brunette jerked her hips up and also come, hiding a lingering moan in the blond hair of the blonde who was already lying on her.Clarke gasped for air for a long time, and Lexa caressed the blonde’s back with weak hands, repeating each bend with her fingertips.

\- "Lexa, what's your full name?" the blonde asked sleepily. They nestled comfortably on their sides. The brunette hugged blonde's pliant body tightly from her back.

\- "Are you asking now?" brunette chuckled.

\- "Why not. I would like to know who fucked me." Lexa realized that the blonde was smiling.

\- "Alexa Carey." brunette said calmly.

\- "Alexa Carey." Clarke drawled, as if tasting the name. - "I like it." More to herself, she said, smacking her lips, more comfortable in a warm embrace.

The trailer became quiet. Breathing came from the bed.

\- "I love you, Alexa Carey." Clarke whispered barely audibly and fell into sleep, thinking that the brunette had already fallen asleep.

Emerald eyes opened and Lexa could not fall asleep for a long time, peering into the darkness.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> My English is not good so i hope you like and enjoy it
> 
> Attention i'm only translate this fic, there will be a moment where Warning LEXA RAPES CLARKE so if you don't like thinks like this don't read

Lexa was awakened by soft kisses on her back. Warm hands slid along the body, slowly but surely, awakening the sleeping brunette. the brunette thought, feeling the moisture on her thigh. The warm breath on neck gave her skin goose bumps. She moaned softly.

\- "Finally. I thought you would never wake up." from an excited voice near the ear, a powerful wave of desire swept the sleepy body. A louder groan escaped her full lips. Lexa grabbed the edges of the pillow tighter and jerked her hips, pressing closer to the hot body. Hot kisses fell on the shoulders and neck. A slight bite on the earlobe and another groan broke the silence. Noisy breathing and dizzy. Persistent hands confidently made their way to the most sensitive places, forcing them to breathe faster and deeper. The dark haired sucked in a loud breath through her clenched teeth as an erect nipple was clamped between fingers.

\- "You are so beautiful, I think I can never get enough of you." heard a confused voice at the base of the neck.

Lexa buried her forehead in the pillow, substituting neck in greedy lips. The fingers of her right hand found the blonde's right hand and were tightly entwined. The other hand of blonde squeezed through from brunette's chest down the belly, forcing him to tense, and even lower, penetrating to the very center.

\- "God, you're driving me crazy!" a passionate bite on the shoulder, only confirmed what was said in a hoarse voice.

Smooth movements on the swollen clitoris and thrusts of the hips from above forced her to move in time. The brunette spread her legs wider and instantly two fingers penetrated her and began to move quickly, drowning in moisture. The thrusts were sharp, passionate, as well as the pressure from above.

The blonde moved her hips frantically, pressing Lexa harder under her. The hand was beginning to numb, but she didn't care, she madly wanted this brunette, who was now moaning muffled into the pillow and squeezing her fingers of her right hand painfully. A pool of sweat had already formed between their bodies. Dark hair matted with blonde. Loud banging of the bed against the wall, hoarse moans and ragged breathing, everything was mixed in a cacophony of mad passion.  
Lexa let out one last long groan, muffled by a pillow, and fell silent. Clarke twitched a few more times and froze, exhausted, on her exhausted body. Silence fell again in the trailer, broken only by the crazy pounding of two hearts.

*****

The second time Lexa woke up, the first rays of the sun penetrated the window. She remained on her stomach, and Clarke snuggled up on the side, throwing one leg and an arm over the brunette. The brunette listened to the even breathing and realized that the blonde was still fast asleep. Careful so as not to wake up, she freed herself from the sweet captivity and disappeared into the shower, taking clean riding clothes.

The ride in the Night Hunter brought no peace of mind. She also remained confused and one might even say fear. The past night knocked the soil out from under her feet. She didn't know what to do next. How to look Clarke in the eye, what to say, or how to behave. The blonde, consciously or not, confessed her love for brunette. And that was what she feared so much. She was completely taken aback. Lexa understood that Clarke had feelings for her, but she really hoped that it was just an easy fall in love, novelty of sensations and passion. But not love. 

Returning to the trailer, she no longer found the blonde. Apparently Clarke went to her room to get ready. Checked mobile, which was lying on the table most of the time. Lexa didn't like being in touch all the time. She considered this an invasion of personal space, when someone expected from her that she was obliged to answer calls or messages at any time. This time she saw one missed from her lawyer. After talking with him, the brunette with some relief pulled out her travel bag and left the necessary things to last for a couple of days. Called Titus and said that she was leaving and having called Sam, got in the car and drove away.

*****

It's been four days since Lexa left. Clarke learned about the hasty escape, and that is how she took it, a couple of hours later from Anya. She, not suspecting anything, was filling the animal feeders with food when Anya approached to her.

\- “Did Lexa say when she’ll be back?”

\- "Where from?" Not understanding anything, asked the blonde. Waking up in the morning and not finding her beloved brunette next to her, she decided that brunette, as usual, went for a walk and left her to get enough sleep, as had already happened many times. So Clarke calmly went to her room, changed her clothes, had breakfast with Blakes and Collins in a good mood, and went to the menagerie.

\- "From a meeting with a lawyer. She left this morning." Anya was surprised that the blonde was not in the know. - “I thought you were with her."

\- "When I woke up, she was gone, I decided that she was with the Night Hunter." the heart beat anxiously.

\- "Well, yes, she did, but then she left. So Titus told me. Lexa called him this morning and said she was leaving for a few days." the dark-haired with sympathy looked at Griffin. She realized that something had happened and Lexa simply ran away. Everyone knew that something was happening between the girls. It was hard not to notice, since Clarke spent the night in the hostess's trailer every night. And now the brunette disappeared without saying a word to the blonde. Anya thought.

\- “I ... I didn't know." turning pale, the blonde babbled in a weak voice. Thoughts were confused, hands were trembling, she did not understand what was happening. What happened that Lexa just packed up and left without a word? Why didn't she say anything? After all, last night was unforgettable, as she thought for both of them. Now she was not sure of anything.

\- "Clarke..." Anya's voice seemed to be heard from a distance.

\- "Anya, can I pause?" it was clear from Clarke that she was not herself.

\- "Come with me." Anya resolutely grabbed the blonde by the elbow and led her out of the menagerie into the street. - "Sit down." she said, seating the blonde on the bench, and sat down next to her.

\- "What happened to you two?" she began very carefully.

\- "Everything was fine." as in a dream answered Clarke.

\- "What's between you two, Clarke? Have you already talked about this?"

\- "No." the blond head pressed into the shoulders. - "I did not ask. I was afraid to scare her away. Lexa didn't talk about it either. We ... we were just happy ... or so I thought." the blue-eyed smiled sadly.

\- "You are aware that with Lexa it will not be as easy for you as you would like."

\- "I know, I know. Therefore, I did not press on her. I accepted what she was ready to give. And that was fine with me. I don't understand what went wrong ???" Clarke looked at Anya with a pleading look.

Anya sighed heavily, she was sorry for Griffin. She suspected that everything could end very badly if Lexa did not overcome her fears.

\- "I think she was scared."

\- "What?" the blonde was perplexed.

\- "Yourself? You? Of what's between you?" Anya herself was not sure what was driving Lexa, but she wanted to try to somehow help the blonde, to understand the mistress.

\- "But why now?"

\- "Maybe something happened yesterday? Think well." Anya gazed intently into blue eyes.

\- "I don't know! Everything was magical, we made love, a lot and for a long time, then fell asleep and ....." Clake hesitated and opened her eyes wide.

\- "What? What then?"

\- "Well, I was sure that she was asleep and did not hear me." shocked, the blonde told herself.

\- "What can't hear, Clarke?" Anya turned blond head towards her.

\- "I said I love her." Clarke said weakly. - “But I thought she was sleeping.

\- "Now everything is clear." the dark-haired woman wearily got to her feet and thoughtfully ran her hand through her hair.

\- "What is clear?"

\- "That's what she was afraid of."

\- "What? That I will fall in love with her?" Clarke couldn't hide the bitter irony.

\- "Yes."

\- "But what's wrong with that?" the blonde shook her head in confusion.

\- “For anyone else, maybe, but not for Lexa. She is sure that she will not be able to answer you in kind and will hurt you."

\- “But I didn't ask. And she didn't even try." Clarke began to understand and her heart sank in pain. Lexa wants to stop everything. She began to feel more acceptable and the   
brunette did not want to allow her even closer.

\- “It's not about you, Clarke. It's Lexa. You must understand that her psyche does not work the same way as ours. She's crippled. Fears are so deep that it is very difficult for her to get rid of them. Change your worldview. You need to be honest and I hope you can get through to her. You have, albeit scanty, but a chance. You are the first with whom she has been together for so long." Anya encouragingly stroked the blonde on the shoulder. - "Wait. When she returns, talk to her."

Clarke looked ahead and digested what the dark-haired woman told her.

\- "Do you think she will listen?" the blonde asked fearfully.

\- "Make her. There is no other way with her." Anya answered firmly.

\- "Well, I'll try." Clarke lowered her head dejectedly and sighed.

\- “Don’t hang your nose, Griffin. All is not lost yet. And if you really love her, then fight. Now let's go to work. This is the best thing you can do now."

The blonde nodded in agreement and followed Anya into the menagerie.

All these four days, Clarke has been terribly missed. The scent of Lexa, which soothed, the kisses that drove crazy, the velvet voice. Only Lexa pronounced the blonde's name in such a way that every time her legs gave way. Through sleepless nights and hoarse moans. Yes, throughout. She needed Lexa. All, with all her advantages and disadvantages.

Octavia was her best friend during this difficult period. She supported and distracted the blonde in every way. She made communicate with friends as usual. And Clarke held on,   
reassuring herself that sooner or later Lexa would come back and they would talk. And everything will work out. The blonde could not imagine otherwise. From another her body was shackled by the strongest fear. She did not know how it would be further without the stubborn brunette, if she abandoned her. And Clarke drove away the slightest thought of such an outcome. the blonde set herself up.

On the fifth day, which was Friday, she was walking to lunch when she saw a black mustang in front of the trailer. The heart made a frantic leap and pounded in a joyful rhythm,   
anticipating the long-awaited meeting.

Clarke almost ran to the trailer. Without knocking, she opened the door and saw the most painful picture for herself. Half-naked Costia stood, tightly clinging to Lexa and pressing her lips to brunette. Lexa pushed the girl away from her forcefully when she heard the sound of the door, but it was too late. Clarke saw everything. Emerald eyes looked with fear and regret into blue ones, which were rapidly filling with tears.

Clarke shouted in her hearts.

\- "Clarke, wait, I'll explain everything." Lexa began hastily, taking a step toward the door.

\- "Don't come to me!" the blonde shouted, raising her hand in front of her.

\- "Clarke, let me explain everything." Lexa tried again.

\- "No! I don't want to see you. I understood everything. I want to get out of here and never see you again!" With tears in her eyes, the blonde said, turned around and rushed to run wherever she looked.

*****

\- "Damn it!" Lexa exclaimed, grabbing her hair.  
\- "What are you doing, Costia ?!" She growled at the girl who was sitting on her bed.

\- “Lexa, I've wanted to confess to you for a long time." She spoke confusedly. - "I love you and want to be with you. She's not a match for you. She will never understand you as I do. She is not one of us." already confidently said Costia, getting to her feet and again approaching the angry brunette.

\- "What are you saying, Costia? What happened between us did not matter. It was once and a long time ago. I never gave you hope for more!" the brunette desperately repeated. She wanted to run after the blonde, but she suspected that at this moment, she would not listen to her.  
\- "And for God's sake, get dressed!" Lexa threw in almost disgust.

Costia realized that she had lost and hastily put on a T-shirt that had been thrown off a couple of minutes ago.

\- “Forgive me, Lexa. I didn't think it would turn out like this. But I..."

\- "Leave already." Lexa turned with her back to the girl and wrapped her arms around herself.  
After a couple of seconds, she heard the sound of a door slamming shut.  
With a heavy sigh, the brunette went to the closet and took out fresh things. She returned an hour ago and wanted to take a shower and change her clothes, when Costia unexpectedly came in and, without saying a word, took off her T-shirt and started kissing her. Then Griffin burst in. brunette grunted sadly and went to the shower.

Refreshed and in clean clothes, Lexa went in search of the blonde, intending to make her listen. Suddenly Lincoln called out to her.

\- "Lexa, finally. Let's go to the stable. Something is wrong with the Night Hunter."

\- "What? What do you mean wrong?" Lexa was seriously worried, rapidly moving towards the stable.

\- "I don't know. He has been limping for two days." the big guy could hardly keep up with her.

\- "Why didn't you say it earlier?" the brunette was angry.

\- "I tried to get through, but you were not available."

\- "Yes, the phone sat down and I forgot charging." the brunette lied without a twinge of conscience. Although she was ashamed herself, especially in front of her favorite. She turned off the phone on purpose.

They reached the stables in a matter of minutes and Lexa began to professionally examine the horse. A little later, she sighed with relief.

\- "It's okay, the horseshoe has lost its place. I'll take care of it." she reassured the guy.

\- "Thank God, I was already afraid you will blow my head off when you return." Lincoln smiled.

\- "I'm not that scary." Lexa grunted.

\- "Yeah, you’re not looking at yourself with your own eyes in anger." the guy chuckled, winking friendly.

\- "Have you seen Clarke?" Lexa remembered about the blonde again.

\- “It seems like she and Octavia went to their room."

\- "Good. Thanks Link. And thanks for taking care of the Night Hunter." Lexa said warmly and went to the girls' trailer.

On the way, she was stopped by two more workers, asking stupid questions, and Gustus joined them. He wanted to talk about a couple of car breakdowns and repairs. It seemed so many things had accumulated in her absence, and nowhere without her.

\- "Lexa! Lexa, wait!"

the brunette was indignant to herself. She was stopped again on her way to Clarke. Titus almost ran towards her.

\- “What happened, Titus?" she wanted to quickly get rid of the assistant.

\- "Lexa, the cash is gone." the bald man said breathlessly.

\- "What are you talking about Titus? We never lose money!" the brunette did not delve into what her assistant was trying to tell her.

\- "They didn’t disappear before, but now they are. I wanted to prepare the box office for tomorrow's performance, but there was no money in the box office."

\- "Where was the box office?" the brunette could not believe that someone decided on such a radical act.

\- "In the director's trailer, as usual. I checked everything there, I searched everything. No money left." Titus made excuses.

\- "How many were there?" Lexa asked dryly.

\- "About two hundred dollars."

The brunette nodded briefly and, changing direction, went to her trailer.

\- "Come on, we'll have to figure it out." she said through clenched teeth.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A translation of Я научу тебя любить by serafina_dieerste.  
> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> My English is not good so i hope you like and enjoy it
> 
> Attention i'm only translate this fic, there will be a moment where Warning LEXA RAPES CLARKE so if you don't like thinks like this don't read
> 
> The words of the song do not come out, I don’t know why, so find a song and look at the words. I’m sorry beforehand

Clarke ran, not knowing where, until she found herself in the farthest part of the circus, where the working cars stood. She fell powerlessly into the shadow of one of the cars and, tucking legs under her, burying nose on knees, finally gave free rein to her feelings and burst into tears. For a while she could not calm down. She was in so much pain from Lexa's betrayal. Her love for the brunette was mixed with hatred. She was no less angry with herself. The blonde reproached herself for being so naive and believing in Lexa. Believed that they could succeed.

When the tears dried up, the blonde sat quietly and listened to the sounds. She calmed down a little and then Anya's words came to her mind. Don't give up if she loves. Make Lexa talk. This is what Clarke wanted to do. What she saw stunned her so much, blinded her mind that she completely forgot why she had come. Now she regretted running away so quickly. After all, Lexa pushed this impudent woman away. She wanted to explain to her. Maybe it really wasn't what it looked like. The blonde scolded herself.  
She got up resolutely and went in search of Lexa. Clarke intended to finally speak "openly," as Anya put it.

The brunette was not in the trailer, although Clarke did not hope that she would be there. The director's trailer was next. Lexa wasn't there either. When Clarke walked away from the trailer, her eyes met Costia. She stood under the awning of one of the trailers and smiled intently. Clarke looked at her coldly and walked past with her head up.

Not knowing where else the owner of the circus might be, she decided to find her after dinner, but for now work to fully tune herself to the upcoming conversation.

*****

\- "Are you seriously going to fight for her?" Octavia said as she sat on the bed and watched Clarke dress after a shower.  
The blonde didn't want to wait for dinner, she just needed to talk to Lexa. In addition, no one has canceled her immense longing for the green-eyed woman.

\- "Yes, just like that, I won't give up." the blonde muttered groaning. She struggled to pull on tight jeans, which did not want to fit on a body still wet after a shower. Having won this fight, Clarke exhaled noisily, buttoned up, put on a white T-shirt and sat down next to her friend.  
\- "I really love her very much, O. I can't even think of how I would be without her if we fail. It will kill me." Clarke said softly, lowering her blue eyes to the floor.

\- "Hey, princess, don't think about it ahead of time. With your stubbornness, you would probably even convince the Duchess of Cambridge that the best thing that can happen to her is to be with you." Blake laughed and hugged the blonde.

\- "Shut up, O." Clarke snorted in the shoulder at her friend.

\- "Go and get your girlfriend. Fight with her demons." the dark-haired woman said encouragingly, pushing her friend to the door, as there was a knock from there and the door opened.

Lexa, with a stony expression on her face, entered the trailer, followed by Titus and Gustus. The room immediately became very tightly.

\- "What's going on, Lexa?" the unnatural expression on her face frightened.

Lexa silently looked at Blake and turned her gaze to Griffin.

\- "We need to search your things." the bunette said firmly, though her eyes betrayed despair.

\- "What? Why is that?" Clarke exclaimed, not understanding what was happening.

\- "The money disappeared at the box office and we are looking for a thief." Titus interjected.

\- "And what I have to do with it?" the blonde did not take her wide open eyes from Lexa, who stood with an unnaturally flat back, her hands clasped behind back. - "Lexa?"

\- "You were seen today, as you left the trailer." the brunette spoke again in an uneven voice.

\- "Yes, I was looking for you." to which Lexa wrinkled her face painfully. - “But I didn't take money." the blonde was indignant.

\- "Let us examine your things and if we don’t find the money, then we will leave peacefully." again a persistent assistant. He was starting to piss off the blonde.

\- "No ifs. You won't find them!"

\- “Then let them watch." the quiet voice of the brunette sounded. She diligently averted her eyes.

\- “Can’t you just take my word for it?” Clarke didn't hide the hurt in her voice. Which made Lexa swallow before answering.

\- “It's protocol, Clarke." the brunette turned to the men, - "Get started."

Clarke was shocked and helplessly watched as Titus examined her bed while Gustus reached into the closet. Nobody said a word. The blond, shocked, looked from the men to Lexa, who stood with tightly compressed lips and stubbornly looked in front of her.

\- "Found." suddenly said Gustus, pulling out a blue sports bag from the closet.

\- "Can not be!" shouted Griffin and rushed to Gustus. But Titus stopped her.

\- "Is that your bag?" the owner of the circus asked in an impassive voice.

\- "Yes, but I didn't put this money there. I don't know how they got there, fuck!" Clarke exploded. The situation was terribly absurd, and the blonde considered everything complete nonsense. - "Why the heck i need this money, Lexa?"

\- “Today you said you wanted to get out of here, but you don’t have any money, Clarke." long fingers squeezed the bridge of the nose, - "I understand that you were angry on me and probably acted rashly without thinking. You misinterpreted what you saw. I just arrived, and Costia did what you saw without asking me. I was as shocked as you are, Clarke." Lexa said in a broken voice. She felt responsible for what the blonde had done. It was she who drove her to such despair the brunette blamed herself.

\- "I didn't take your fucking money!" the blonde boiled.

\- "How did they end up in your bag then?" Titus argued, holding the bills in his hand.

\- "How do I fucking know? We are not in the trailer almost all day! Anyone could come here!" the blonde screamed angrily.

\- "But only you were seen today in my trailer." Lexa said in a dull voice.

She turned around and in two steps was on the street.

\- “Stay here and watch her." Titus ordered to Gustus and followed after Lexa.

Lexa darted from side to side like a caged animal.

\- “Lexa, you know what that means." Titus said firmly.

\- "It's my fault. She wouldn't do it just for the money." brunette tried to protect the blonde.

\- "You know our laws."

Lexa stopped and glanced at her assistant. Emerald eyes were uncertain, teeth clenched tightly.

\- "She was caught red-handed and she should be punished to the fullest extent. So don't make the mistake of giving in to your senses. This is your responsibility." the man insisted.

Lexa perked up, her eyes sparkling menacingly.

\- "A mistake, Titus?" she hissed. - "The old man beat me for years! But I still came to him when he was dying and promised to fulfill his last wish!" continued in a menacing voice, advancing on the assistant. - "I am able to distinguish feelings from duty!" she shouted in his face.

Titus lowered his eyes bashfully.

\- “I know, I'm sorry Lexa."

\- "I know that the circus is your brainchild and you just take care of it." the brunette said more calmly.

The assistant nodded and spoke uncertainly. 

\- "So what are we going to do with Clarke?"

\- "You said yourself, to the fullest extent of the law." Lexa said in a devastated voice. - "Lead her to the post, I'll come right now." and drooping her head, she walked with a heavy step for the whip.

She was torn apart by what she had to do. Hands were sweaty without even touching the terrible object. Lexa wholeheartedly resisted hitting Clarke. The body was shaking with small tremors. A hammer was hammering in head , but there the old man's sharp voice repeated She must fulfill her duty to her people.  
There were no concessions for anyone in the circus. Everyone should be treated equally.  
Lexa grudgingly took the whip and headed for the small square where the post was.

A lot of people have already gathered there. While Lexa and Titus were asking people about the money, word of the disappearance quickly spread throughout the circus.  
Gustus stood by the post and tied the blonde's hands over her head. People stood in a circle and whispered. At the sight of the hostess, Gustus moved away from Clarke.  
The brunette moved towards the blonde in fear. Clarke stood without moving and looked straight ahead.

\- “Clarke,” Lexa said in a confused voice, standing very close. - “I don’t want to do this, but these are our laws." the blonde turned her head and looked blankly.

\- “I didn't take the money, Lexa, but you didn't believe me." the extinguished voice pierced the heart harder than any cry. - "And I do not care about everyone here and your laws. This is barbarism."

The brunette swallowed a lump in her throat.

\- “I know you think our laws are cruel, but that's how they survive here."

\- “You know Lexa, life is much more than just survival." Clarke was calm, too calm. The fear is gone. When Gustus brought her out and Titus spoke of the punishment, the blonde shook with horror. She imagined that what could make a whip with her, and she very badly endured the pain. On the way to the pillar, the fear was gone, only cold indifference remained. Lexa betrayed her, didn't believe her. Clarke seemed to have been cut off from the source of life. She didn't care what happened next. Nothing mattered now.

Lexa swallowed another huge lump and turned around taking a couple of steps.

\- “I won't forgive you this time." quietly, but so that Lexa heard, said Clarke in the back.

The straight back trembled and froze. There was silence.  
The owner of the circus turned around and, taking a deep breath, struck the first blow. The blonde twitched, but didn't scream. Second blow, third. Still silence.

\- "Lexa!" Titus hissed behind her. - "Stop sparing her, everyone can see that you don't harm her at all."

Lexa closed her eyes and squeezed the handle painfully. Her hands shook, she swung the whip and the hand twitched. There was a heart-rending scream, and Clarke went limp. A scarlet long strip appeared on the white fabric. Lexa dropped the whip. She felt that it was not Clarke, and a sharp pain pierced her.

\- "Lexa, pick up the whip. She is supposed to have ten blows," the assistant did not calm down.

\- "Enough!" Lexa exclaimed and hurried to Clarke. - "Gustus help me."

The huge man hastily began to free Clarke's hands, and Lexa immediately grabbed the blonde.

\- “No, don’t you dare, I’m myself,” brunette snapped when Gustus tried to help. - “Octavia, you're with us."

Everyone looked after their mistress, who went against their laws and did not fulfill her duties to the end.

Lexa placed Clarke gently on the bed and gently turned her onto her stomach. She gently brushed blonde hair back from face and slowly pulled up T-shirt, revealing a bleeding wound.  
A scarlet stripe stretched from the right shoulder blade diagonally to the left side. Lexa gritted her teeth, wanting someone to whip her now. So that the physical pain drowns out the mental pain, which was much worse.

\- “Octavia, give me your first aid kit,” brunette asked without looking at Blake.

O instantly rushed to the cabinet where the first aid kit was.

\- "Here." she held out a red plastic box. Octavia has been in a state of shock since Lexa and the others entered their trailer and accused Clarke of stealing. From that moment on, Blake Jr. could only watch.

Lexa handled the wound with skillful hands. Fortunately, it was not very deep, even a scar will not remain. When brunette finished, she stood up and covered Clarke with a blanket.

\- “Stay with her, Octavia. When she wakes up, tell her she has a free weekend. She cannot move a lot so that the wound does not open. Ok?" Lexa spoke to Blake, but looked at the non-moving blonde. 

Octavia saw with what tenderness and love the green eyes looked. How quivering was every touch when the swarthy hands treated the wound. Octy wondered.

\- “Okay.” Octavia hesitated.

\- "Speak, if you want, to say something."

\- “Lexa, I don’t believe Clarke took the money,” Octy dared to speak with a quick glance at her friend. - “She wasn't mad at you. More precisely, she was at the beginning, but then she calmed down. On the contrary, she intended to talk to you. Clarke was determined to fight for you. She was just about to go looking for you when you entered."

A strange sound escaped from Lexa's chest, like a faint howl.

\- "Why were you silent before ?!" the brunette whispered.

\- "I dont know. I was shocked by everything and did not think about it. It all happened so quickly." the dark head sank heavily into his palms. - “I could have stopped it, right?"

\- “It doesn't matter anymore. I didn't believe her and she will never forgive me." Green eyes did not leave the delicate skin of the face. Lexa leaned over and kissed Clarke lightly on the cheek. - “Forgive me for ruining everything,” Lexa whispered, barely audibly, as she got up and quickly left.

The owner of the circus almost ran towards the stable. Insane pain and anger alternately tormented heart and soul. Lexa didn't know what to do next. Whatever she does, she hurts Clarke.

\- "Lexa ..." came an uncertain voice from the side.

\- "What?" brunette growled, watching who comes out of the darkness to meet.

\- "I ... I wanted to ..." Costia staggered in place, not looking up.

\- "Costia, speak already."

\- "I didn’t tell you everything that I saw," the girl finally uttered. - "I saw not only Clarke, I also saw how Titus got out of the girls' trailer."

\- "What?! When?!" Lexa grabbed her fragile shoulders and shook her. - "Speak when you saw him!"

\- "This morning." Costia winced in pain. Lexa noticed and dropped her shoulders sharply.

\- "Why didn't you tell me right away ?!" brunette cried out in despair.  
It was becoming the worst day of her life. With every minute she realized that she had made a terrible mistake and forever lost the only person she loved ... Like a thunderbolt, she froze in place when this thought burst out of her subconscious. To tear and toss, that's what she wanted to do with everyone, and first of all with herself.

The circus mistress burst into the assistant director's trailer without knocking. Titus was sitting at the table and writing something.

\- "Why did you do that?!" brunette snapped at him from the doorway.

Titus jumped up and stared in dismay at the hostess.

\- "Don't understand what you talking about?"

\- "You understand everything!" Lexa growled, clenching her fists. - "It was you. You put the money in Clarke bag. I want to know why?" the brunette could hardly control herself so as not to punch Titus. For many years, acquaintance and respect for his age kept her.

\- “You want to sell the circus,” the elderly man surrendered, wearily sitting down on a chair. - “And this is my whole life, Lexa. Where will I go? I hoped that during the time spent here, you would change your mind, decide to stay with us. But Clarke showed up and you started to change. I saw that every day you are getting closer and closer. Then I thought, if she breaks your heart, you will be disappointed and stay with us. I only wanted what was best for the circus, for all of us." With hope in his eyes, Titus looked at the brunette.

\- “No, Titus, you thought only of yourself. You didn't care about me and my feelings. You betrayed me!" the voice trembled, and emerald eyes sparkled.

\- “Forgive me, Lexa,” the assistant begged.

\- “Tomorrow you’ll tell everyone the truth and apologize to Clarke,” Lexa said in a detached voice and left the trailer without a word.

Back in her trailer, she packed her bag and, along with Sam, rushed off in her Mustang into the night. She ran cowardly, she understood it, but there was nothing she could do about it. It was hard for her to breathe in this place. Merciless emotions filled head like a flurry. She was in such a state that she could not think. It was too much. Just too much.

_*****_

A week passed, and Lexa never returned and no one knew where she was. Titus, as ordered, apologized to the injured blonde, and soon everyone learned that Griffin did not take money. A gloomy atmosphere was felt throughout the circus.  
The blonde was just as gloomy. The wound quickly covered with a crust and the blonde didn't even feel it. After the first blow, Clarke realized that Lexa was not going to hit her for real. She felt the whip, but it didn't hurt. Feeling as if the body was being pulled with a rope. But then something went wrong and she felt a tearing pain and passed out. When she woke up, she saw Octavia sitting opposite.  
Octavia told the rest. And about the fact that she told everything to Lexa and how she behaved.

\- "She loves you Clarke." Blake said confidently. - “Only blind wouldn't notice.

\- "Than why did she run away? Why didn't apologize? Why did leave me?" the dull blue eyes no longer sparkled with agility and mischief. The blonde felt like an extinguished candle. Nothing brought joy. She didn't smile anymore. Continued to work in the menagerie, but this was where communication with the others ended. Often at night the blonde cried and if Octavia woke up, she climbed under the covers to her friend and calmed her for a long time. Even baby Sammy made worse because she always reminded of Lexa. She spent this week in a daze. Saturday came, the last day of her stay at the circus. Tomorrow morning she was supposed to be picked up by a car and taken back home.

\- "Clarke, you come with us." Blake repeated. - "This is our farewell evening. It is specially made today, and not as usual tomorrow, after the last performance."

-“O, please don't make me. I cannot and do not want to communicate with anyone." Clarke answered in a colorless voice, pulling the blanket higher.

\- "No, you will." the dark-haired woman pulled the blanket off her friend. This went on for several minutes. - "Stop moping. It won't make anybody better. And you at least say goodbye humanly. Come on, Clarke, at least for me." Blake looked at her friend with puppy eyes.

\- "God, you remind me of Sammy now. Even she's not so convincing." Clarke smiled timidly. - "Okay, I'll go for an hour."

\- "Excellent." Blake jumped happily. - "Then let's get dressed and go. Everyone has already gathered there."

\- “Just don’t tug at me." muttered a friend, getting out from under the covers.

It didn't take to the girls long to get together. Soon they were walking towards the square, where everyone gathered around the fire.

_*****_

On the morning of the same day, a brunette sat alone at a table in one of the eateries in the neighboring city and stared blankly into an empty cup of coffee. She had been cowardly hiding for a week from the inevitable return to the circus. Melancholy in a cheap hotel.  
Suddenly the mobile on the table brought her back to reality.

\- "Yes?" Lexa accepted call when she saw who was calling.

\- "Lexa, are you going to run away from the obvious for a long time?" without the introduction beginning Anya.

\- "I thinking."

\- “I advise you to think faster if you want to see Clarke again, since she’s leaving tomorrow."

\- "How? Why tomorrow? I thought Monday." the brunette persuaded herself that she had two more days.

\- "No. Program participants always leave on Sunday. A farewell evening is being made for them tonight."  
Thoughts in a dark head ran randomly, eyes darted.

\- "Lexa, do you love her?" Anya asked directly.

\- "Yes." heard a quiet reply.

\- "So what are you waiting for?"

\- "She will not forgive me, Anya." the brunette replied stifled.

\- "You didn't even try! You've done so much shit, Lexa, and now you're hiding cowardly. I don't recognize you like that. You have always been a fighter. So fight !!!"

\- "How?"

\- "Don't know how. But get your skinny ass in here and make this girl forgive you. She's scary to look at, Lexa. So do something." the brunette's heart only squeezed harder at the last words.

\- "I will come." Lexa said quietly and pressed the hang up.

_*****_

When the two girls approached to the fire, they heard crooked guitar sounds. Niko strummed his instrument again. Clarke suddenly felt a mad desire to play to ease her soul.  
She silently walked over to the guy and just held out her hand. Niko gave her the instrument without a word. The blonde returned to Octavia, who was already sitting with their friends.  
Clarke sat down in an empty chair and ran her fingers over the strings, checking the sound.  
The blonde did not look at others, but immediately began to play. A Great Big World feat. Christina Aguilera - Say Something

<>

Quiet tears flowed from blue eyes. Clarke gazed into the fire with unseeing eyes and sang only to herself.

<>

Clarke sang through her tears and did not notice how the lone figure separated from the crowd and went to the center.

<>

The song ended at the same time blonde noticed movement in front of her and, looking up, saw Lexa. Everyone was quiet, waiting for what would happen next.

But nothing happened. Blue eyes glistening with tears peered into the emerald ones, trying to see in them what she so badly desired.

Suddenly the brunette's knees buckled and she slowly knelt down in front of the blonde.

Clarke jumped up immediately.

\- "Lexa, don't ..."

\- "No, Clarke. Listen to me ... please." Lexa shook her head.  
\- “I was a fool, Clarke. A fool and a coward. You showed me what it means to love and be loved, and I, like the last idiot, did not want to believe in the obvious. I chickened out." She exhaled and continued with another deep breath.

\- “I love you, Clarke Griffin, and I swear I'll never hurt you again. I promise to make you happy."  
A lonely tear rolled down her dark cheek. Clarke bit her lip almost bloodily, holding back a sob.  
\- “Please forgive me, Clarke. Forgive me," repeated Lexa kept on her knees.

Clarke broke down and rushed to her beloved.

\- “Lexa, stand up, please,” the blonde asked and pulled the brunette by the arms. She knew what it meant for Lexa to kneel down again in front of everyone and ask for forgiveness.

\- "Will you forgive me?" Lexa whispered, her forehead touching the blonde's forehead.

\- "I love you silly. I've already forgiven you," Clarke muttered through tears of happiness, kissing away the tears.

\- “You are the best thing in my life, Clarke. I love you so much."  
The softest kiss anyone has ever seen followed.

The next day, Clarke didn't leave with everyone. She agreed with her mother that she would stay for another week. In the evening, she again took part in the show.  
When it was time to leave the arena, Lexa suddenly pulled her to herself and kissed her passionately. The audience erupted into thunderous applause.

\- "Lexa, what are you doing?" Clarke asked in surprise after she could breathe again.

\- "I want everyone to know who my girlfriend is." with a mischievous smile brunette answered.

\- "Your girlfriend?" Clarke couldn't help smiling.

\- "Yes, mine and only mine. Forever."


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> My English is not good so i hope you like and enjoy it
> 
> Attention i'm only translate this fic, there will be a moment where Warning LEXA RAPES CLARKE so if you don't like thinks like this don't read

Ten years later.

\- "Lord, Griffin, you can't even give birth without incident!" Octavia literally burst into the maternity ward of St. Michael's Hospital, gasping for air.   
\- "What an impatient you have to give birth today, when half of the city was cut off by electricity!" Blake the youngest stood, bent, resting her hands on her knees, trying to bring her breathing in order.  
\- “I’m not in the age to run up stairwells of nine stories." a little catching her breath, Octavia sat on a chair next to the bed of the woman in labor.

Clarke had a strong contractions at that moment, so she did not immediately respond.

\- "O, I told you a thousand times already, quit smoking. Here's the result." the blonde moaned, writhing in pain.   
\- "And in general, do not whine, I'm much worse now." Clarke added in a relieved voice when her stomach let go.

\- “Clarke, Lexa will blow you for starting without her. And she definitely won't have time to get there. The streets are a madhouse. Traffic lights do not work, there are traffic jams around, I myself took two hours to get there."

\- "I know, my mother has already informed that there is a power failure again due to the heat. The hospital runs on an emergency generator."

\- "Does your wife know you're here?"

\- "I tried to call her, but this stubborn one never learned to carry a cell phone with her. Fuck knows where he is lying now." The blonde rolled her eyes and shook her head.

\- "Well, just in case, I told Link to go to the Collins. Lexa is there, right?"

\- "Yes, she's on Finn's parents' farm. Collins Sr. called this morning to say that one of his mares could not give birth. Lexa had to go." Clarke wearily threw her head back against the pillow.

The contractions began at night, but they were rare and light, so she did not say to Lexa, knowing that her wife would not be able to work calmly, worrying about her and the child, and she would not be able to leave the horse to its fate either.  
Griffin hoped that Lexa would not stay long and they would go to the hospital together, but the kid decided differently. In two hours, the contractions became stronger and more frequent, and Clarke realized that she would have to go alone. She was a doctor and knew that she couldn't wait any longer.  
Clarke drove unhindered to the hospital, where she herself worked. Thank God, then there were no problems with the electricity supply. Abby met her daughter on the doorstep and took her to her department, where a ward was ready for her. Since then, four hours have passed and strong contractions with a gap of five minutes did not allow the blonde to speak.

\- “Damn it again ...” Clarke croaked, gritting her teeth.

\- "Fuck ..." Blake jumped up in fright. From the distorted expression on blonde face, she realized that her friend was terribly hurt and did not know what to do, - "Clark, breathe, breathe... how were you taught in the courses ... uh, uh, uh ... Like this?" Octavia babbled helplessly.

The blonde grimaced again, but now with laughter, Octavia looked so funny now.

\- “Okty, you look like I'm dying, not giving birth." the blonde grinned, automatically stroking her huge belly.

\- “Are you sure you don’t have twins?” the dark-haired woman asked skeptically, following her friend's hands with eyes. She wondered all the time how big belly Clarke had. - "It's so huge!"

\- "I'm sure." Clarke smiled. - "We checked a hundred times, there is only one baby."

\- "Griffin, I'm so happy for you two that you finally succeeded." Octavia said quietly, looking at her friend with a gentle smile.

\- "Thank you, O. We are also very happy that this time everything was successful." said the blonde and looked lovingly at her bulging belly.

Clarke has been trying to get pregnant for two years now. They wanted a child together, so with Abby's connections, they managed to find the best IVF clinic. Several eggs were removed from Lexa and fertilized with sperm from a donor, whom they carefully selected and then injected with several in Clarke. There were many unsuccessful attempts and finally, nine months ago, at the next examination, Abby happily announced that Clarke was pregnant. Their happiness knew no bounds. From that moment, the wife began to scamper with the blonde like a chicken with an egg, not allowing her to lift anything heavier than a pen until Griffin freaked out. the blonde could not resist when Lexa took away the frying pan from her wife, which she intended to put in the closet. But Lexa was unquestioning, only three months later, when the biggest risk was over, brunette calmed down a little and began to enjoy watching her wife, who was getting rounder every week.

The door opened and Mrs. Griffin entered the room.

\- "Hi Octavia." the woman greeted with a smile.  
\- "Clarke, how are you holding up?" she asked her daughter with concern.

\- "What do you think?" the blonde laughed, - "It seems to me not long left." with a groan she exhaled, after the next fight.

Abby looked at the monitor and determined that Clarke was indeed about to give birth.

\- “Clarke, we can't wait any longer, I'm taking you to the maternity room."

The door flew open again.

\- "Dr. Griffin!"

\- "Yes?" both mother and daughter answered at the same time.

\- "Sorry." the nurse smiled, - "I mean, Dr. Griffin-Carey. Your wife just called and said she was on her way."

\- "Thank you, Melanie." answered the blonde and looked inquiringly at her mother.

\- “No, honey, I don’t think she will be in time. You have contractions every two minutes. I'm taking you." and the woman began to roll the bed out of the ward. 

Octavia helped.   
\- "May I come with you?"

\- "Blake, since Lexa is gone, you have to be with me! At the same time, you will see what lies you ahead." Clarke chuckled.

\- "Oh, I'm not in a hurry, honestly. And thank goodness Link doesn't insist."

\- “We ought to give him a hint that you must go too. And in the same time quit smoking." the blonde chuckled. In response, heard only a snort of a friend.

\- "Octavia, do you still smoke ?!" Abby was surprised.

\- "Well, has begun!" Blake rolled her eyes. - "Okey, I promise to quit. Right today! Now let's give birth, Griffin."

\- "Better watch yourself, O, I remembered your promise." Clarke threatened her friend with a finger.

\- “So girls, stop bickering, Clarke, when I tell you start to push, okay?"

\- "Yes sir." Clarke answered ironically, and winced in intense pain.

\- "Well, it all started ... push Clarke ..."

*****

Mrs. Clarke Griffin-Carey lay in her room with her eyes closed and rested. A tiny baby was lying in her arms and peacefully sniffing into her mother's chest. There was a soft knock and the door slowly opened. The blonde opened her eyes and met the amazing green eyes of her beloved. She stood hesitantly at the doorway with a huge bouquet of flowers and a brown plush dog in her arms.

\- "Hello." Clarke whispered and held out her hand to her wife.  
Lexa walked over to the bed and kissed the outstretched hand on the wrist.

\- "Hello." came the quiet answer. - "I was in a hurry as I could, but there were traffic jams all around ..."

\- "Everything is alright, my dear. We are fine." with a gentle smile, the blonde reassured her wife.

Lexa put the presents on the table and looked in awe at the little lump on Clarke's chest.

\- "Meet Lexa. This is your son Aden." said the blue-eyed quietly and carefully handed the baby to her wife. Lexa carefully took the child in her arms and sat down in a nearby chair.

\- "Hi, Aden. I am your mom and I love you very much." Lexa said in a hoarse voice from tears, bowing head over her son. The kid opened his eyes and began to look with interest at the smiling mother. At that moment, a small hand grabbed a dark curl. Lexa opened her eyes and looked at Clarke in surprise.

\- “Clarke, he's already pulling my hair." brunette said, admiring the child.  
Clarke just laughed in response, there was so much delight in such familiar eyes.

\- "Next time, I will not miss this moment." said the brunette, not taking her eyes off her son.

\- "Next time?" Griffin raised one eyebrow and smiled.

\- "Well yes." the brunette head nodded, - "Aden needs a sister. And if we are very lucky, it will be a little devil in a skirt with an angelic face and blond hair, like her mother. True, Aden will not be lucky if she has the character of a mother." Lexa winked.

Clarke just snorted and rolled her eyes.  
She leaned back and looked tenderly at her wife and son. Lexa cooed something indistinct and a happy smile never left her face.  
Clarke remembered the past ten years. Lexa eventually sold the circus and bought the ranch with the proceeds. Finn's father helped them with this. He was theowner of a neighboring farm. Lexa and Clarke moved there six months later, when the brunette graduated and became the county's top veterinarian.  
Clarke went to college to study medicine and graduated with honors. Lincoln and Octavia lived with them in a huge colonial-style house. Finn and Raven lived on a nearby farm with Finn's parents and visited them frequently. Anya, Gustus, Indra and ten more people from the circus joined them and lived on the ranch, in special houses for workers. They were all one big family. Only without the barbaric laws of the circus.

Now, looking at her wife glowing with love, Clarke could not imagine that once Lexa did not believe that she could love. Clarke has never met a more loving person than Lexa. Green eyes met blue.

\- "I love you." they said at the same time and lit up with happiness.


	25. Several chapters of flashbacks from Lexa and Clarke's life together.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> My English is not good so i hope you like and enjoy it

Lexa's first birthday with Clarke.

The blond head peered cautiously out of the bedroom door and listened to the sounds in the house. After making sure she was truly alone, Clarke bounced up the stairs. She was in a great mood as the long-awaited day had finally arrived. The blonde had been carefully preparing for this event for several weeks and now she could not wait for the moment when Lexa saw her surprise.

Clarke, looking pleased, glanced around the cozy, bright living room and checked the clock. 

After Clarke's beloved left for her daily walk, blonde followed her out of bed, dressed and hurried to prepare her surprise. She barely managed to persuade her stubborn girlfriend for the last week not to look into the garage. Lexa sometimes behaved like a real child and Clarke twice caught her sneaking to a forbidden place.

<\- "Well, Clarke, what there could be so secret?> Lexa whimpered, looking behind her as Clarke confidently pushed her away from the garage.

\- "No patience!" Clarke rolled her eyes and laughed. - "Go already, you are my curious treasure," embracing their beloved from the back, they went to the house as a small train.

After the second unsuccessful attempt, Lexa had to make a promise that she would not poke her curious nose where the gifts for her were hidden.

Lexa used to ride for about an hour, and Clarke had enough time to drag all the gifts from the garage into the living room. She had planned a birthday party with many friends for the evening, but now she wanted to congratulate and please Lexa in private.

Dogs barking outside, and Clarke walked out onto the veranda with a smile. Sam and the grown-up Sammy immediately ran up to her. After patting each on the head, she went to her girlfriend, who was slowly leading the Night Hunter by the bridle.

\- “Good morning,” the sky-colored eyes shone, and a sly smile played on lips.

\- "Good morning, my sun," hugging Clarke around the waist, Lexa pulled her to herself and gently kissed her open lips. - "What made you wake up so early? I hoped you were still lounging in bed as usual," a swarthy hand reached for a lonely naughty strand, gently removing it behind the ear.

\- "Willingly, but not today," Clarke took Lexa's hand and led her toward the house.

\- "What are you up to this time?" An incredulous question sounded from Lexa, but she obediently let herself behave, leaving the horse to rest in the yard.

Clarke only smiled conspiratorially. Approaching the open door, she stood behind brunette and covered her eyes with palms.

\- "Clarke, why?" Lexa smiled.

\- “This is a surprise.” Together they entered in the living room. The hands disappeared and the green eyes flew open in amazement.

\- “Happy birthday, my love,” Clarke said and gently kissed the stunned brunette on the cheek.

\- “Clarke… There are so many!" Lexa muttered, glancing from the multicolored boxes of various sizes to her quite smiling girlfriend.

\- “Twenty-six in total,” Clarke said, glad the surprise was a success. - "One for each year in which you did not receive a gift."

Emerald eyes sparkled and Lexa without a word pulled the blonde to herself and kissed passionately, putting all the surging emotions into the kiss.

\- “Thank you,” brunette whispered into the blond hair at her temple, swallowing back tears.

\- “I love you,” Clarke whispered back, running her hands through brown hair.

They stood for a while hugging each other until Lexa calmed her emotions. Then Lexa looked at her gifts again and saw a bicycle in Harley Davidson-style in the corner and rushed to him for stare at it.

\- "Clarke, he's is awesome!" an enthusiastic cry was accompanied by a quivering touch of fingers on the black frame.

Clarke smiled happily as she watched Lexa get on her bike and start doing little circles around the living room.

\- "I'm glad I made the right decision with the choice of the bike. I thought that you didn’t have it before, and every teenager should have a bicycle at least once in his life."

\- "You guessed very well!"

\- "Now we can ride together."

\- "Do you also have a bike?"

\- "Yes. He's standing at mom's place.” Clarke circled around her axis, keeping the birthday girl in sight.

\- “Then we’ll grab Link’s pickup and pick it up tomorrow,” Lexa announced enthusiastically.

\- “Definitely, and now we need to get ready for the evening,” laughing, Clarke stood in the path of the bike, thereby stopping it.

Lexa put her present on the bandwagon and stepped over it.

\- “Anything you want, Clarke,” brunette's hands reached out around blonde waist. - “I love you,” she said, kissing on the lips.

\- "I have you. That's all I want.” Clarke hugged brunette chest and rested head on her shoulder.

\- “If so, we can spend the whole day in bed?" Lexa teased.

\- "And don't think. We're having a party tonight, and you won't get away.” Clarke pinched the stubborn brunette in the side lightly.

\- "OK OK. I was joking. Let's put the bed down for later,” Lexa snorted.

\- “Later, I'm all at your disposal,” Clarke smiled promisingly. - "In the meantime, march to the kitchen. We need to prepare the meat for the barbecue."

\- "Yes, my commander," the green-eyed woman saluted and went towards the kitchen.

\- "Aren't you interested in what is in the other packages?" Clarke was surprised Lexa didn't open the rest of the presents.

\- "Of course it's interesting, but I want to open them later, with everyone else," Lexa looked half-turn into blue eyes. - "If I may?"

\- “These are your gifts, you can do with them what you want.” Smiling, Clarke also followed into the kitchen.

The alcohol was slightly dizzy as Lexa saw off the last guests and returned to the house. Clarke stood with her back to brunette and twisted her booty to the music, removing the remnants of a successful party from the table. With the light gait of a predator, Lexa quietly approached and put her hands on the table, taking her girlfriend captive between herself and the table top.

\- "Now came mine later?" Lexa purred into her golden hair.

Goosebumps ran through Clarke, and she tilted her head forward, holding out her neck for kisses.

\- "Mm ... I'll take it for a positive answer," Lexa hugged blonde's breast and began to crumple the pliable flesh. Hearing a quiet moan, she pressed her hips against blonde's elastic ass and dug into her neck with a passionate kiss.

Clarke whirled around and kissed brunette's full lips a second later. The kisses became hot, impatient. The lower abdomen tugged sweetly. Clarke pulled off her girlfriend's black T-shirt in one motion and threw it in an unknown direction. Lexa was wearing nothing under the shirt, and blonde dug her lips into brunette hardened nipples, squeezing her hands tightly around brunette slender waist. With a groan, Lexa arched her back, fingers tangled in blond hair. Feeling a tangible bite on the excited nipple, she could not stand it. Pulling up blonde's short blue dress, Lexa pulled off blonde's lace thong and, grabbing Clarke under her thighs, sat her on the table.

\- "Lexa ... Link and Octavia ..." Clarke said with her head thrown back, her voice baffled.

\- “They passed out an hour ago, don't think about it,” Lexa muttered, covering blonde's neck with kisses. - "I want you now ... Here."

Clarke drew in a noisy breath, feeling the warm fingers between her legs. Her legs spread wider and Lexa knelt between them. Stroking blonde's slender legs with hands, her lips made her way along the inner side of the thigh to the very center.

\- "Lexa!" Clarke breathed as a hot tongue penetrated her. Her legs bent convulsively at the knees, and she leaned back on the table.

The tongue was insatiable, penetrating deeper and deeper. Lexa put Clarke's legs on her shoulders and pulled the blonde closer to the edge of the table. Long fingers replaced the tongue, slowly dipping inward, lips covering the swollen clitoris.

Clarke was breathing heavily, struggling to contain her loud moans. Her fingers tangled in her dark hair, she pressed brunette head, begging for more. 

Lexa growled something indistinctly and dug her fingers in harder. Sucking on the clitoris and playing with her tongue, she accelerated the movement. Clarke moved her hips towards brunette's mouth and arms, interrupting loud music with passionate moans. The movements became harder and faster, and Clarke twisted in her back, shuddering in a violent orgasm.  
A minute later, she lay on the table, catching her breath.

\- “You are my best gift,” Lexa breathed, bending over and kissing blonde's swollen lips tenderly.


	26. Several chapters of flashbacks from Lexa and Clarke's life together.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> My English is not good so i hope you like and enjoy it

Tattoo

\- “Lexa, I think I've changed my mind.” Clarke turned sharply and rushed to the door they had just entered.

But Lexa was faster. She tightened her grip on the slightly damp hand in her hand, preventing the blonde from escaping.

\- “Oh no, Clarke. You've been buzzing my ears about this for the last three months. If we leave now, then tomorrow you will start over again."

Lexa pulled an obviously nervous Clarke down the hallway until they were in a large room. Clarke didn’t quite envision this room. A bright light shone from the ceiling. A large, shabby leather sofa stood against one wall, with a table in front of it. Nearby was a table with thick folders and a powered laptop. The walls were covered with various posters and paintings. A reclining black armchair was located at the wall opposite to the sofa, and a shaven-headed, brutal-looking man was sitting next to it. Seeing the girls, he smiled happily, and all the brutality disappeared.

\- "Lexa, baby, haven't seen each other for a long time," the man came up and put the brunette in a bear hug. Clarke thought she heard Lexa's bones crunch.

\- “Mike, you’ll strangle me,” came a muffled laugh, somewhere at armpit level. Mike, like a mountain towered over them.

\- "Let me admire you," he let Lexa go and looked from head to toe. - "Every time when i see you you looking more good," Mike clicked his tongue and turned his attention to the blonde. - "And who is this?"

\- "And this, Mike," Lexa, possessively, pulled blonde to herslf and hugged her around the waist. - "My girlfriend, Clarke," unlike the embarrassed Clarke with an uncertain smile, Lexa beamed happily.

\- "Wow, this is news. I thought…"

\- "I thought too, but Clarke appeared, and everything changed," Lexa pressed the blonde closer to her and kissed her temple.

\- "Clarke, you must be very special if you managed to get this fidget hooked," Mike winked.

\- "Yes, it was not easy, but it was worth it."

\- "Well, I'm glad for you guys," the shaven-headed hugged both of them and raised them above the floor. Clarke mumbled something in protest.

\- "Mike!" Lexa began to free herself. The pleased man returned them to their place.

\- "Okay, which one of you will be the first, Lexa?" Mike returned to his chair.

\- “Clarke,” Lexa pushed her girlfriend toward the man and sat her down in a chair.

\- "Lexa, let today, just you, and I’ll next time,” blonde gasped impulsively, her eyes running restlessly from Mike to Lexa.

\- "Are you afraid?" the man was surprised. - "Calm down, if you had the courage to confront Lexa, then it will be a mere trifle for you," the man tried to calm down.

Lexa took Clarke's pale hand in hers and turned her to herself.

\- "Clarke, look at me," brunette said gently. Clarke obediently drowned in emerald eyes.  
\- "Do you want it?" Lexa fondly looked into her beloved eyes.

\- "Yes very."

\- "Then we'll do it. Everything will be fine. You won't notice how it ends. Look at me, okay?"

Clarke stared into green eyes and saw love, support, calmness in them, and doubts left her. She knew what she wanted and confidently held out her right hand to Mike.

\- "Let's do it."

Lexa bent down and kissed soft lips tenderly.

\- “Mike, start,” brunette nodded to the man and met her blue eyes again.  
\- "Look at me, honey."

And Clarke looked, sometimes wrinkling her face painfully, with her left hand firmly holding her girlfriend's hand.

Fifteen minutes later, everything was ready, and a small tattoo in the form of an infinity sign appeared on the ring finger of right hand.

Than Lexa sat in Clarke's place. She didn’t blink an eye while Mike skillfully wielded the needle.

An hour later, they left the tattoo studio, and Clarke looked with a satisfied smile at her tattoo, which in two years would hide her wedding ring.

\- "Forever," Clarke said quietly.

\- “Forever,” Lexa said softly. The fingers intertwined, and a passionate kiss silenced them for a long time.


	27. Several chapters of flashbacks from Lexa and Clarke's life together.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> My English is not good so i hope you like and enjoy it
> 
> Attention i'm only translate this fic, there will be a moment where Warning LEXA RAPES CLARKE so if you don't like thinks like this don't read

Graduate Lexa

\- "And I hope we will meet again. Well, now, it's time to mark the end of our torment," the perfectly shaped lips bared their snow-white teeth in a radiant smile. - "Guys, we are free!" exclaimed a brunette in a scarlet robe gleefully and carelessly tossed her academic cap into the air.  
Following this, cheerful shouts and whistles were heard, all the other graduates began to throw their hats into the air.

Lexa found Clarke with her eyes and smiled happily. Clarke stood in the back row with the rest of the relatives and friends of the graduates and looked with pride at her girlfriend, who graduated with honors from her studies and got the honor of giving her farewell speech. With which she did an excellent job. Her pleasant, confident voice encouraged and encouraged not to be afraid of the unknown future, but on the contrary, to dive into it boldly and believe that everything will be fine.

Everyone in the huge hall smiled friendly and understanding. And now, finally, the graduation ceremony officially came to an end, and Clarke could not wait to congratulate her beloved in person.

Lexa made her way through the joyful crowd, hugging and congratulating each other along the way.

As soon as Lexa was near, Clarke forward everyone and hugged brunette, squeezing her in arms that she had strength.

\- “Clarke, you hug me like you haven't seen for ages,” Lexa said laughing, hugging her loving girlfriend back.

\- “That was eternity,” Clarke breathed into her ear and gently pressed her lips to the warm skin around her neck.  
\- “Congratulations, it was a very impressive speech, love,” she breathed into brunette's lips and clung to them with heat. Lexa couldn't help but return the kiss, which grew hotter until she heard a cough from her side.

The girls shyly recoiled from each other.

\- “Clarke, let your girlfriend go for a minute so the others can congratulate her,” Mrs. Griffin said with a grin.

Lexa blushed and Clarke rolled her eyes. Nearby, Octavia laughed loudly, unceremoniously pushed the blonde aside and, hugging, began to congratulate Lexa. She was joined by other friends and acquaintances who came to the ceremony. The last one approached to Lexa Griffin senior and with a kind smile pulled her to herself and hugged her in a very motherly way.

\- “Well done, Lexa. We are all very proud of you.” Abby put her hands over Lexa's face and looked warmly into her eyes. - “Although we have known each other not so long ago, you already belong to our family. I'm happy you met Clarke. I've never seen her so happy, You make her happy. I don't know what happened in those three months, but whatever it was, it changed my daughter. She got better. You are a good person, and I am glad that you are now a member of our family, my girl," 

Abby hugged Lexa again and stroked her loose hair, as she always did with Clarke. The brunette's throat was choked by such kindness and attention. She looked over Abby's shoulder into her native heavenly eyes and knew that now she had a family.

\- "Mom, give me back my graduate," Clarke came up and, taking Lexa's hand, pulled her towards her. Mrs. Griffin only grinned in response and left the girls alone.

\- "Come on," she pulled Lexa out of the hall.

\- "Clarke, where are we going?" She was surprised, but dutifully followed her girlfriend.

\- “Celebrate,” Clarke replied without looking at Lexa. In her voice Lexa clearly heard the blonde grin at the same time. Full lips parted in a knowing smile. She understood what Clarke meant by celebrate.

\- "Right here, baby?" Lexa could not resist mocking. To which Clarke turned around and flashed her eyes.

Everything inside Lexa was trembling pleasantly, and now she herself was pulling the blonde towards the toilets.

\- “Jesus, Clarke, didn't we grow from that age to fuck in the toilet,” Lexa breathed out with a half moan, pressed against the wall.

\- “Baby, you so hot that in another twenty years I’ll want to fuck you anywhere, including the toilet stall,” Clarke said eagerly between kisses. - “Now, shut up and let me congratulate you properly,” Lexa felt a smile on her skin and blissfully tilted her head to the side, giving more space for kissing.

With impatient fingers, Clarke lifted her scarlet robe, and with it her skirt. Hot hands covered soft buttocks and squeezed forcefully. Lexa couldn't help herself and exhaled loudly with a faint moan. Graceful fingers intertwined with blond curls and pulled her head closer. Tongues intertwined in a hot dance. Clark pressed Lexa with her whole body against the wall and began to teasingly run her hands along brunette's hips from the bottom up, as if accidentally barely touching her crotch, but without pressure. Lexa groaned in displeasure. Lexa squeezed blonde hair harder in her hands and passionately bit the blonde's lower lip, demandingly moving her hips to meet skillful hands.

Clarke chuckled insolent and, taking a step back, sat on the toilet lid and sat brunette with face and with legs spread apart, to herself on lap. She pulled brunette's hips closer to herself and, squeezing one hand between their bodies, began to slowly stroke Lexa between the legs.  
Lexa was more than ready for more. With one hand, Clarke skillfully unbuttoned Lexa's robe and a couple of buttons on her blouse, and in one motion she released the velvet skin of chest. Lexa could hardly restrain another groan, feeling blonde's lips on her sensitive nipple. She pressed blonde head closer to her chest.

Clarke wrapped her arms around brunette waist and eagerly sucked her nipple. The lower hand, meanwhile, pulled back the interfering fabric, and two fingers slowly penetrated the inviting moisture. The movements were unhurried, teasing. Lexa whimpered softly into her girlfriend's ear and moved faster on her firm fingers.

\- “Look at me, Lexa,” Clarke asked in a hoarse voice, wrapping her slender waist tighter.

The blurred gaze of emerald eyes met with blue and did not let go. Wet foreheads pressed against each other. The girls did not take their eyes off each other. Lexa moved her hips more and more. Ragged breathing and dull moans were heard. The last moan of pleasure Clarke caught with her lips and tightly pressed her beloved to herself, held her until her body calmed down from convulsive movements.

\- “I love our congratulations,” Lexa said with a blissful smile, wearily resting her head on her girlfriend's shoulder.

\- “Well, we still have a lot of holidays ahead,” Clarke chuckled.


	28. Several chapters of flashbacks from Lexa and Clarke's life together.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> My English is not good so i hope you like and enjoy it
> 
> Attention i'm only translate this fic, there will be a moment where Warning LEXA RAPES CLARKE so if you don't like thinks like this don't read

An uninvited guest

Clarke was awakened by strange sounds. Glancing at the clock, which showed two in the morning, she listened again. Again a strange rustling from somewhere below. At that moment, Sammy barked, and Clarke was seriously scared. Lexa, until that moment sleeping peacefully beside her, rose abruptly in bed. Octavia and Lincoln went on vacation for two weeks, so there was no one else in the house. At least it shouldn't have been.

\- "Clarke?"

\- "Lexa, someone is downstairs," the blonde whispered in a trembling voice. - "I woke up from strange sounds, and now Sammy gave a voice."

Lexa was already getting out of bed and quickly put on the sweatpants she had taken from the closet. From there, she took out a baseball bat and handed it to Clarke.

\- "This is for you just in case. Wait for me here. Everything will be fine.” Lexa tried to sound calm so as not to frighten Clarke even more. She pulled her dagger out of the nightstand and went to the door.

\- "Lexa!" Clarke shouted in a loud whisper. - "I will not let you go alone!" She confidently stood up and took a couple of steps towards the door.

\- "Clarke! You will stay here!" green eyes flashed menacingly in the dim room.

\- “Either we go together or we both stay here and call the police,” Clarke stared at her girlfriend firmly, not even thinking of giving up.

\- "Clarke!"

\- "Lexa!"

The whole dispute passed in a hoarse whisper and looked just ridiculous from the outside. At that moment, Sammy barked again, and both girls turned their heads towards the door.

\- "Honey, I'm serious. I won't let you go there alone."

Lexa looked with doubt and uncertainty first at her beloved, then at the door. She didn't want to put Clarke at risk and take with her, but leaving her here was also risky, knowing the nature of her girlfriend. Never know what thoughts can come to her bright head. Next to Lexa, she was at least under some kind of control.

\- “Okay, let's go,” Lexa finally gave up. - "But hold on to me!" while she sternly looked at her stubborn girlfriend.

\- “Yes, I promise.” Clarke nodded her head obediently. She moved to the door, but Lexa remained standing and looked her over.

\- "What else?"

\- "Do you want to throw something on?" Lexa gracefully arched an eyebrow and looked at her bare slender legs.

To which Clarke turned her eyes and headed to the closet, taking out loose pants. Quickly pulling them over, she grabbed the bat again.

\- "Lexa, while you and I get dress, they'll rob us," blonde grumbled.

\- “I don’t want you to shine your ass in front of anyone else besides me." Lexa pulled her close and kissed her quickly on the lips. - "And don't forget, hold on to me."

They left the room. Lexa forward with a dagger in hand, Clarke followed her on tiptoes, clasping her weapon in both hands. Heart thumping echoed from the unknown what awaits them on the first floor. Lexa seemed focused and confident, walking softly towards the stairs.

Suddenly the floorboard under Clarke's foot creaked treacherously.

\- “Shhh…” Lexa turned sharply, pressing her index finger to lips.

\- “Sorry,” Clarke said apologetically with her lips.

Lexa rolled her eyes and moved on. They were slowly descending the stairs when they heard the creak from under the blonde's bare feet again.

\- "Pshshshshsh ..." the brunette hissed indignantly.

\- "Don't shshs at me!" Clarke whispered.

\- “Then you stop making so much noise,” Lexa said in a whisper. - "If there really were thieves, we would have been discovered long ago. You stomp like an elephant."

\- "I'm not an elephant!" the blonde grunted offendedly.

\- “You are my little elephant,” Lexa replied conciliatoryly. - "Let's go already find out who is thundering in our kitchen," and taking the blonde by the hand, pulled her towards the kitchen, where the rustles were coming from. Lexa knew right away that they weren't robbers, otherwise Sammy would have reacted differently.

Walking over to the kitchen, Lexa turned and pushed Clarke against the wall.

\- "Clarke, you can wait here. I'll call you.” Clarke knew that Lexa wouldn’t take any objection now, so she nodded obediently and remained standing around the corner while Lexa entered the kitchen and turned on the light.

\- "Your mother!" Lexa exclaimed with a mixture of shock and laughter at the same time.

From the reaction, Clarke realized that nothing threatened them and went into the kitchen next.

\- "Oh, gods!" she exclaimed touchingly. - "Lexa, this is ..."

\- "Raccoon!" finished for her Lexa.

On a large kitchen table, next to a bowl of fruit, sat a small raccoon. The girls caught the criminal red-handed. The fluffy animal froze in a funny pose with an apple in its teeth. Black buttons - eyes looked at the hostesses without blinking, probably the sudden light brought the baby into a kind of shock.

Nearby, Sammy barked again, and the raccoon shuddered and began to back up on the table. Lexa reacted instantly. In two steps she was close and grabbed the baby in her arms. He tried to escape, but he did not succeed, since he still kept his prey in his teeth, supporting it with his paws.

\- "Greed ruined him," brunette laughed, holding the young animal tightly.

\- "He's so small, Lexa." Clarke walked over and reached for the baby. The raccoon growled funny, deciding that the blonde wanted to take away his apple and turned around so as to hide in the brunette's belly. Both girls laughed.

\- “It's unusual that he is here alone. He is still quite young to walk alone. His mom must be around somewhere,” Lexa pointed out knowingly.

\- “Hmm, our guest tried very hard,” Clarke chuckled as she walked around the table and saw an overturned trash can and garbage lying nearby.

\- “I'll go and see where his family is,” Lexa turned on the light outside and left, looking around, hoping to see the raccoon’s mother.

Ten minutes later, brunette returned, holding the small animal in her arms. He almost chewed his apple. Clarke has tidied up the kitchen during this time.

\- "I haven't seen anyone. I’m afraid he was alone for a reason. Something must have happened to his mother,” Lexa sighed heavily, looking tenderly at the baby.

Clarke came over and lightly stroked the raccoon's head, he no longer growled.

\- "Now what?"

\- "We can't let him go. He has not yet grown up to survive on his own," the brunette answered with concern in her voice.

\- "And that means we'll leave him with us?" the blue-eyed lips stretched out in a satisfied smile.

\- "Well I do not know. Actually, he needs to be taken to the shelter. There he will be well looked after until the time when he grows up."

\- “Well, Lexa, who’s better looking after him than the best vet in the area?” Clarke narrowed her eyes slyly.

Lexa was still staring dubiously at the raccoon.

\- "Well, baby, please," with pouting lips, Clarke looked with pleading eyes of a puppy.

Lexa just couldn't resist.

\- "Well, good, good. We will leave him with us for a while. But only until he grows up."

\- "Yes, yes, yes, I know. Now give me Archibald," Clarke began to take the raccoon, who immediately clung to her trustingly.

\- "Archibald?" Lexa burst out laughing.

\- “Yes, Archibald, or Archie,” Clarke confirmed with a businesslike air. Lexa chuckled again and shook her head.

\- "Probably only you thought of calling the raccoon Archibald, baby. Well, be it your way, Archie, that means Archie," brunette looked tenderly at her beloved, who bowed her head over the raccoon and played with his paws.

\- "Stay here for now, I'll go and see where we can arrange for him to sleep." Lexa kissed the blond top of the head and went to look for where to arrange a raccoon. And for some reason, she had a vague feeling that Archie would become their regular guest.


	29. Several chapters of flashbacks from Lexa and Clarke's life together. Summary:

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus is a place of magic, joy and smiles, but if you look behind the curtains ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fanfic was translated from Russia into English with permission of author  
> Author name: serafina_dieerste  
> Her work on website: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4610636
> 
> My English is not good so i hope you like and enjoy it
> 
> Attention i'm only translate this fic, there will be a moment where Warning LEXA RAPES CLARKE so if you don't like thinks like this don't read

Aden's birthday. 5 years.

\- "Lexa, are you sure Aden is ready?" heard Lexa uncertain voice of her wife.

\- “Clarke, honey, calm down. I'm close and nothing terrible will happen," Lexa answered soothingly, not taking her attention from her son.

\- "Well, my friend, are you ready?" Lexa asked encouragingly.

\- "Yeah," chocolate curls twitched merrily in time to nodding his head. The kid confidently pulled his leg up and grabbed the saddle, as his mother taught him. Lexa put her son on a little pony and looked proudly at her wife.

\- "Look what a brave and skillful son we have. And you say his not ready," smiling, Lexa teased her wife.

\- "Yes, yes, you're right, just don't let him go anyway. Please,” Clarke whined.

\- “What kind of sitter is our mother, isn't it Aden?" Lexa muttered, but did not remove her hands from the child.

Aden, as soon as he began to speak, reduced all conversations to horses. And Lexa decided that the best gift for her son's five-year-old birthday would be the much-desired pony. And then the day came, and the baby still could not wait until he finally got on his own horse.

\- "Mom, look how I can!" Aden shouted joyfully, spreading his arms to the side.

\- “Well done, darling, you're doing well,” Clarke encouraged him.

Perhaps Clarke thought that it was too early for Aden to get on the horse alone, Lexa took him with her since he could sit, but blonde trusted her wife and knew that Lexa would not allow anything to happen to the baby, so did not resist strongly. Seeing how happy her son was, she calmed down and watched with pleasure the contented little son and proud wife.

\- "Wait, in three years I'll teach Becca to ride," Lexa winked cockily and laughed when Clarke rolled her eyes and hugged the two-year-old baby closer to her.

As Lexa desired, their daughter was a copy of Clarke, both in appearance and character. Rebecca was a blond angel with that character. At two years old, she charmed and could literally manipulate everyone. Even the stern Indra and the formidable Gustus, whom the baby called Uncle Gusgus, could not resist this sweet child.

Lexa looked at her beloved ladies, who were smiling happily at her. Becca was waving her plump hand hard, drawing attention to herself, and Clarke looked at her with the same love as she had fifteen years ago.

Then to her wonderful son, so much like her. With the same emerald eyes and brown curls. The boy proudly sat on his pony and did everything as Lexa had taught him. She was so proud of him.

And she could not imagine more happiness than she already has.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that's the end, i hope you was enjoy and understandably, you can read my onther fic and i working on the new, thank you


End file.
